I've been thinking about 2009 and, as is usual for me, anticipating the new beginning of 2010. Here, in random order, are the top highlights/lessons/life changing moments of the year...
* Change, while not usually easy, is necessary for growth. I've seen this written across the pages of my life in 2009. A major change for me this year was a new career. After almost 20 years in the field of long term care, I embarked on another path in the health care arena: public health. It has been stress filled 6 months on a learning curve that still has me feeling like I'm behind the 8 ball. However, I've not been this fulfilled in many years! I like the challenges, the diversity of the position, the people I meet, and, most of all, not dealing with a governmental bureaucracy that is positioned on job justification instead of best practice standards. I admit it... I was beyond burned out. The Lord knew that and deep down, I knew it. I was apathetic in many ways...and the elderly folks that I was responsible for deserve so much better than that. What a privilege to have been able to touch as many lives over the years as I was allowed to...and oh how they touched mine!
* Committing to oneself is a very health thing to do!
I'd promised to myself that 2009 would see significant changes in the way I lived my life. I'd committed to not have anything or anyone in my life that was an imitation. I've realized that time is moving at an ever quickening pace and I just don't have time to waste on stuff that isn't the real deal. For the most part, I believe I've succeeded at making some real progress in this area. I've allowed myself not to be guilted into commitments, committees, organizations, relationships, ministries, etc. that are not geared towards the eternal goals the Lord has for me. I've said no to some very good things, but not the most expedient things for me and the talents the Lord has given me. Know what? Jesus blesses that! Oh, I've by no means arrived, but I am better than I was 365 days ago!
* I love quiet!
Now, you may be chuckling at this one, but I've actually struggled with this all of my adult and most of my childhood. I am often jazzed by people... they can give me energy and I feel at my best when I'm in the midst of them helping in some way. But towards the end of 2009, I began to sense a need to spend some time alone. I'm still not sure it was something the Lord led me to, or if I was just so spent that it had to happen, but I found myself enjoying the peace of my home. I found myself relaxed and not anxious to call someone to hang out, or go somewhere. In fact, I was a bit concerned that I was going to swing too far the opposite way that I became somewhat reclusive. 2010 is the year I anticipate gaining more ground in the balance of serving/being with others and seeking the solace of solitude.
* In spite of the circumstances, He is still in control and He is still good.
This year I helplessly stood by and watched some people I love dearly go through some gut wrenching pain. So many early morning and late night prayer vigils were held in my bed, so many morning and afternoon drives were spent praying and pleading with Jesus to change the circumstances. Far too many tears to count were spilled. The depths of the agony I felt and the utter frustration of knowing that my prayers were all that I could do let me know that I would do anything I could for these people. And it taught me that the greatest thing I can do for them is to stand in the gap on their behalf. It also taught me that often times, the Lord doesn't want to change the circumstances. He wants to change those I love for His glory and purposes. I wish I could say everything ended like a fairytale...but that's only in the movies. Circumstances are still difficult, but God is so good.
* I'm wowed and wooed by My Savior.
The mission trip I got to take this year was life altering. I still stand amazed that He would use me for His purposes. I never, ever want to take that for granted. I want to continue to be awed by that truth... that He WANTS me to be a part of His eternal plan. Wow.
* I believe forgiveness is the best gift anyone can give or receive!
This one is the biggie for 2009. I've witness the supernatural healing that forgiveness bestows on people. I've been both the recipient and giver of forgiveness and I am always changed for the better by it. I've seen it raise a devastated individual from the ashes of hurt and remorse into a beautiful situation that saw God get some unbelievable glory. Personally, I've witnessed the chains of the past be released by forgiving, which I am certain will only enhance who I become. It is a most beautiful thing.
All in all, 2009 was a splendid year. Thank you Lord!
