This past week and weekend has been a flurry of activity. I found myself worn out on Friday afternoon just thinking about all that I wanted to get accomplished. Ministry opportunities, a fun day with friends, not to mention the other activities of daily living that I needed to get done. I had decided that in the middle of all of the hubbub, I would take a half a day and go hang with my best friend at our favorite coffee place. It was there that the Lord met my need for encouragement.
An acquaintance of ours, AC, happened to be grabbing a cup of coffee while she waited on a lunch date she had planned and we were able to sit and visit. AC is one of those people who lights up a room wherever she goes. She's bright, beautiful, vivacious, and loves Jesus so deeply that it's tough to discern where He ends and she begins. She is a missionary for Campus Crusade for Christ and has returned from serving in an Eastern European country and is preparing to go serve in another country that is not welcoming of those whose faith is in Jesus Christ. I was enthralled with her recounting of how the Lord had moved in her life, taking her down paths that she didn't see as being necessary at the time, but now sees clearly how He was preparing her for this next step. All three of us shared times when being in the wait has been the most excruciating part of our relationship with the Lord, but oh the blessings that come out of doing it well. Little does AC know how the Lord used her words of encouragement, her use of Scripture, and her faithfulness in walking with Him to keep me going ~ but Jesus knows. Today, I am just thankful for how He loves me enough to send that cup of living water along to refresh my soul. I also pray for my friend as she pours out her life as an offering to the One who makes it worth it all.
Isaiah 44:3 ~ For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The Quiet Rebellion
I got a speeding ticket last week. It was a long time in coming as I have been pushing the limits as evidenced by the several times over the past few months that I've had officers flash their lights in an attempt to get me to slow down, which I would do for the remainder of my drive to work, only to speed the next time I was on the open road. Well, the law finally caught up with me and I got caught doing 72 in a 55. Honestly, I was going faster, but that's what he clocked me at. After giving me my ticket, I was overcome by this deep desire to spin out and go from 0-70 just as fast as I could. I didn't do it, purely because I'm cheap and I didn't want to get another ticket as well as I get caught up in the good girl syndrome. But, if I thought that the cop would have laughed and not given me a ticket, would I have?
I've been thinking a lot about my response to that question this week, and as God does, He's opened up a larger issue than a simple response to the question. It's my heart attitude. Even though I didn't do what I wanted to, there was a quiet rebellion to authority going on in my heart. Even though I admitted to the officer that I was in the wrong and I smiled kindly when he handed the ticket to me, and then properly signaled when I pulled out and slowly accelerated up to 55 MPH, in my heart there was another attitude running amok. I was wanting to show him what I thought of his authority. I wanted to be in his face, spitting gravel on the hood of his car and showing him that I can do what I want to. The saddest part to this whole revelation is that this is a portrait of Carla's life. Oh, the outside looks like the compliant woman, mostly doing the right thing to be thought well of, to be seen as a good Christian...all the while knowing that if people saw what was going on in the depths of my heart they would be questioning whether I truly know who Jesus is by my consistent rebellion. Rebellion to the authorities that He has placed in my life, to what I know that his Word calls me to do, to the bidding of The Spirit. I've realized I don't want to be that kind of person anymore. I want my heart attitude to consistently match my action. For me not to merely say the words "I will comply", but to have the heart match. I know that for that to happen, there will have to be much more brokenness that will take place over even the small things that I've shrugged off as not big enough to have to worry about getting right with God. The quiet rebellion must end.
Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he...
I've been thinking a lot about my response to that question this week, and as God does, He's opened up a larger issue than a simple response to the question. It's my heart attitude. Even though I didn't do what I wanted to, there was a quiet rebellion to authority going on in my heart. Even though I admitted to the officer that I was in the wrong and I smiled kindly when he handed the ticket to me, and then properly signaled when I pulled out and slowly accelerated up to 55 MPH, in my heart there was another attitude running amok. I was wanting to show him what I thought of his authority. I wanted to be in his face, spitting gravel on the hood of his car and showing him that I can do what I want to. The saddest part to this whole revelation is that this is a portrait of Carla's life. Oh, the outside looks like the compliant woman, mostly doing the right thing to be thought well of, to be seen as a good Christian...all the while knowing that if people saw what was going on in the depths of my heart they would be questioning whether I truly know who Jesus is by my consistent rebellion. Rebellion to the authorities that He has placed in my life, to what I know that his Word calls me to do, to the bidding of The Spirit. I've realized I don't want to be that kind of person anymore. I want my heart attitude to consistently match my action. For me not to merely say the words "I will comply", but to have the heart match. I know that for that to happen, there will have to be much more brokenness that will take place over even the small things that I've shrugged off as not big enough to have to worry about getting right with God. The quiet rebellion must end.
Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The Fog
Yesterday I was driving to work and thinking about some random stuff going on in the lives of those around me, when I began to notice the fog that had developed and thickened the farther north I traveled.
It wasn’t one of those frosty morning kinds of fogs that we experience in the fall when the last remnants of summer are mixing with the chill of autumn and it’s just a layer of low clouds. This was the pea soup variety of fog…dense and incredibly difficult to see any distance before or behind the car. The kind that makes you feel like you are all alone, not sure where you’re headed nor seeing any landmarks to calculate where you’ve been.
I couldn’t help but correlate that with my walk with Jesus. It seems that my life has been that foggy existence off and on for awhile now. Trouble gauging where I’ve been and trouble figuring out which direction to move forward. Small annoyances coupled with some not so small items that clutter my life making it difficult to see…much like the fog. Then, I noticed something. The only thing that kept me moving in the correct direction was the white and yellow lines outlining the correct lane position for my car. That made me think of God’s Word. It’s the only thing that truly keeps me in the proper lane of His will. When I decide to be obedient and surrender my will to His doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness, I find myself worrying less and less about seeing what’s looming in the future. I find that I trust what He says He will do, despite the inability to see clearly through these limited lenses. It’s when I am broken of those self obsessed ways that the fog lifts from my life and I see it with new clarity.
Lord, I thank you for the fog because it deepens my reliance on You and not my own ways.
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
It wasn’t one of those frosty morning kinds of fogs that we experience in the fall when the last remnants of summer are mixing with the chill of autumn and it’s just a layer of low clouds. This was the pea soup variety of fog…dense and incredibly difficult to see any distance before or behind the car. The kind that makes you feel like you are all alone, not sure where you’re headed nor seeing any landmarks to calculate where you’ve been.
I couldn’t help but correlate that with my walk with Jesus. It seems that my life has been that foggy existence off and on for awhile now. Trouble gauging where I’ve been and trouble figuring out which direction to move forward. Small annoyances coupled with some not so small items that clutter my life making it difficult to see…much like the fog. Then, I noticed something. The only thing that kept me moving in the correct direction was the white and yellow lines outlining the correct lane position for my car. That made me think of God’s Word. It’s the only thing that truly keeps me in the proper lane of His will. When I decide to be obedient and surrender my will to His doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness, I find myself worrying less and less about seeing what’s looming in the future. I find that I trust what He says He will do, despite the inability to see clearly through these limited lenses. It’s when I am broken of those self obsessed ways that the fog lifts from my life and I see it with new clarity.
Lord, I thank you for the fog because it deepens my reliance on You and not my own ways.
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Small victory
1 Peter 1:7-8 (King James Version)
7That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
8Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
Ever heard the phrase , "Be careful what you wish for"? Well, I'm living that one right now. Recently, I have asked my Sunday morning prayer buddies to lift me up in the area of discipline. As I explained to them, I've become very apathetic about life in general. So the prayers began and the first thing the Lord really spoke to me about was being quiet to hear his still, small voice. I'd been reading about missing what the Holy Spirit wanted to work on because we ignore/dismiss/reject what we are being asked to be obedient to do. Then almost before I learned that lesson, the still, small voice convicted me about my time spent on Facebook. Now let me clarify something from the beginning. I do not think FB is wrong, evil or anything else... it simply brings unnecessary distraction into my life on a variety of levels. So, in obedience to that voice, I disengaged my page. Now, mind you, I really didn't think how that would affect others, but it became very clear, very quickly that my decision to be obedient would bring the enemy and his legion out to thwart my efforts. Some felt I had removed them from my friend list (I didn't even think about that to be honest!)or didn't want to communicate with them anymore. I was sort of bummed that people would jump to the conclusion that I would intentionally remove them, but then I was reminded that the enemy will strike almost immediately on the heels of obedience. He wanted me to doubt myself as I have so many times in the past and he oft times uses my relationships with others to do his evil deeds. That reminder was what I needed to move past the discouragement and realize that I was fighting a spiritual battle.
I was pumped to go into my Sunday morning group and tell them of the victory that I'd realized over the weekend and how faithful He is to me by the gentle reminder that I am doing His bidding. Then because the Lord loves to encourage and bless, I got several encouraging emails today about my decision to disengage from FB. I serve an Awesome God!!!
7That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
8Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
Ever heard the phrase , "Be careful what you wish for"? Well, I'm living that one right now. Recently, I have asked my Sunday morning prayer buddies to lift me up in the area of discipline. As I explained to them, I've become very apathetic about life in general. So the prayers began and the first thing the Lord really spoke to me about was being quiet to hear his still, small voice. I'd been reading about missing what the Holy Spirit wanted to work on because we ignore/dismiss/reject what we are being asked to be obedient to do. Then almost before I learned that lesson, the still, small voice convicted me about my time spent on Facebook. Now let me clarify something from the beginning. I do not think FB is wrong, evil or anything else... it simply brings unnecessary distraction into my life on a variety of levels. So, in obedience to that voice, I disengaged my page. Now, mind you, I really didn't think how that would affect others, but it became very clear, very quickly that my decision to be obedient would bring the enemy and his legion out to thwart my efforts. Some felt I had removed them from my friend list (I didn't even think about that to be honest!)or didn't want to communicate with them anymore. I was sort of bummed that people would jump to the conclusion that I would intentionally remove them, but then I was reminded that the enemy will strike almost immediately on the heels of obedience. He wanted me to doubt myself as I have so many times in the past and he oft times uses my relationships with others to do his evil deeds. That reminder was what I needed to move past the discouragement and realize that I was fighting a spiritual battle.
I was pumped to go into my Sunday morning group and tell them of the victory that I'd realized over the weekend and how faithful He is to me by the gentle reminder that I am doing His bidding. Then because the Lord loves to encourage and bless, I got several encouraging emails today about my decision to disengage from FB. I serve an Awesome God!!!
Final thoughts on Belize
As I think about Belize, there is one thing of which I am certain ~ I took more from that experience than I gave. Not that I didn't want to give and believe that I did give as much as I was capable of doing, but rather there were lessons for me to learn that would far overshadow anything I did for Jesus. The most influential lesson I learned was actually the most simple... keep my eyes on Jesus. This lesson came from watching one woman affect a community in a quiet, unassuming way.
To meet Noemi, you wouldn't classify her as someone who is assertive or overwhelming. She is the wife of Artemio, the pastor of our sister church in Copper Bank. She is quiet, almost to the point that she is difficult to hear...but oh the influence this woman carried for Jesus! I had the joy of getting to spend a little 1-1 time with her as we were preparing a meal one day. We were visiting about her sons. These two young men are impressive. They love Jesus, serve him in very different ways, are fun to be around, and have a great work ethic. I was commenting to Noemi about her boys and she shared a story about telling them one time how it hurt her heart to have to discipline them, but she was far more concerned with being obedient to the Lord and being responsible for following His word when it came to rearing children. She then shared that one of the boys had come home from school and thanked her for the discipline because he saw how others acted and was glad he knew better. What a sweet smile covered her face in recounting that blessing!
When Artemio gave our team his testimony, the most fascinating part for me was when he spoke of his relationship with Noemi and how influential she was, and is, in his continued walk with Jesus. I saw this daily when she was working diligently behind the scenes, but always being the anchor where those three Cal men gravitated back to for advice and encouragement. I loved when Artemio shared that there came a point in their relationship that Noemi, who had grown up in a Christian home, relinquished the reigns of spiritual leadership and handed them over to him. Whew, what guts and selflessness that took... but then I realized she had her vision and focus in the right place, off of a man and onto THE MAN. She was banking on what she knew to be true ~ the Word of God. She knew that God has an order and that if she was to please Him, she needed to follow. I can say that this woman impacted me profoundly and probably isn't even aware of it, but I'm praying that the Lord blesses her mightily for her faithfulness. I know my life will never be the same because of her.
As I wonder if I can ever be as faithful as Noemi, the Lord gave me the best birthday present yesterday that I have ever had. It came in the form of a prayer that my dad gave before the meal. He thanked God for me, but the coolest part was when he said that he is thankful that I put the Lord before anything in my life. Never have words impacted me like those did. I so want to be that faithful woman and maybe I am moving in the right direction if someone close to me, who knows my warts, quirks, and often not so great attitude acknowledges that I do want to put Jesus first!
To meet Noemi, you wouldn't classify her as someone who is assertive or overwhelming. She is the wife of Artemio, the pastor of our sister church in Copper Bank. She is quiet, almost to the point that she is difficult to hear...but oh the influence this woman carried for Jesus! I had the joy of getting to spend a little 1-1 time with her as we were preparing a meal one day. We were visiting about her sons. These two young men are impressive. They love Jesus, serve him in very different ways, are fun to be around, and have a great work ethic. I was commenting to Noemi about her boys and she shared a story about telling them one time how it hurt her heart to have to discipline them, but she was far more concerned with being obedient to the Lord and being responsible for following His word when it came to rearing children. She then shared that one of the boys had come home from school and thanked her for the discipline because he saw how others acted and was glad he knew better. What a sweet smile covered her face in recounting that blessing!
When Artemio gave our team his testimony, the most fascinating part for me was when he spoke of his relationship with Noemi and how influential she was, and is, in his continued walk with Jesus. I saw this daily when she was working diligently behind the scenes, but always being the anchor where those three Cal men gravitated back to for advice and encouragement. I loved when Artemio shared that there came a point in their relationship that Noemi, who had grown up in a Christian home, relinquished the reigns of spiritual leadership and handed them over to him. Whew, what guts and selflessness that took... but then I realized she had her vision and focus in the right place, off of a man and onto THE MAN. She was banking on what she knew to be true ~ the Word of God. She knew that God has an order and that if she was to please Him, she needed to follow. I can say that this woman impacted me profoundly and probably isn't even aware of it, but I'm praying that the Lord blesses her mightily for her faithfulness. I know my life will never be the same because of her.
As I wonder if I can ever be as faithful as Noemi, the Lord gave me the best birthday present yesterday that I have ever had. It came in the form of a prayer that my dad gave before the meal. He thanked God for me, but the coolest part was when he said that he is thankful that I put the Lord before anything in my life. Never have words impacted me like those did. I so want to be that faithful woman and maybe I am moving in the right direction if someone close to me, who knows my warts, quirks, and often not so great attitude acknowledges that I do want to put Jesus first!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Belize - Part 2
It's taken some time to sort through all that transpired while I was in Belize and I know that I still haven't digested all of it. There are two issues that have become definitive for me. First, the acknowledgement that less is more. The Lord kept repeating this phrase over and over again to me while I was there. Of course, just the fact that they have 'less' in terms of worldly goods is certainly pronounced. But I was more aware of how they 'needed' less. Small homes, rugged vehicles, not a lot of shiny new things. They were content with what God had provided. Very content. They were joy filled, in fact. Gone was the stress from faces of having everything at their disposal like we do and it was replaced by the absolute knowledge that He provides. And oh the prayers... to say I was humbled by their devotion and authentic heart felt thankfulness to Abba Father would be an understatement. I was actually somewhat ashamed. I know I have taken His provision, graciousness, and blessings for granted... maybe even have felt that it was owed to me for being a 'good christian'. Ouch. This has been an obvious area of needed change for me. When did I become someone who felt life owed me something, let alone the God of the universe? As if the Lord wanted to nail the coffin of my self absorption shut today, in my quiet time in John 3, I read the verse where John is talking of who he is in relation to Christ and he simply states, "He must increase, but I must decrease". Notice the order of the sentence as John clearly understands the order of importance. The believers in Copper Bank seemed to get this and it was evident by how they lived their lives everyday.
To be continued...
To be continued...
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