Winds of change

This past weekend a contingent of us went to see "Saving Mr. Banks" which is the story of how the movie "Mary Poppins" came to be after much difficulty between Walt Disney and the author, PL Travers.  By far, "Mary Poppins" has always been my favorite Disney movie and one scene in particular that I like is when Bert sings a song about change:

Winds in the east, mist coming in.

Like somethin' is brewin and bout to begin.

Can't put me finger on what lies in store,

But I fear what's to happen all happened before.

    That's where I am in life.  The winds of change are moving in and the Lord is readying me for something new.  How can I tell?  

First, He is making me uncomfortable with the status quo.  Whenever He has moved me to the next matrix, there has always been a period of discontent prior.  I am not talking about discontent in the sense that I am not satisfied and coveting something different, but a yearning that I cannot remain where I am because He is leading me into a new adventure.

Second, He is bringing new challenges into my path for His kingdom.  This has literally exploded over the past several weeks.  He has peeled a layer of insecurity away and given me a new confidence to proceed in ways that are contrary to my very nature, yet are very natural because He is right there with me.   

Third, the enemy is countering.  If you've studied the Bible, you know that when God moves, the enemy counters.  It's been the way of the world since the fall of Lucifer. I have been stunned at the number of distractions, drama incidents, and out right attacks that have occurred.  That tells me something big is brewing.

Finally, He is admonishing, warning, encouraging and prodding through His word and the counsel of others.  Just this morning I received a great piece of counsel from my reading in Genesis 16-19.  In this particular reading, the story of Lot's time in Sodom and Gomorrah is told.  Pretty wicked stuff going which highlights the depravity of man. Sick stuff.  When the Lord deems the time is appropriate to destroy this wicked place, He tells Lot, his wife and two daughters to leave and to not look back.  In verse 26 of chapter 19 it says, "But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt." Boom. Just like that. She was gone.  In my heart, I knew He was talking directly to me.  I know that I cannot move forward if I am looking back.  The distractions have been linked to areas from the past that need to be d.o.n.e.  Issues that were laced with sin keep beckoning for my attention.  So, today I am resolving to not look back anymore. I simply cannot afford to do so.  I am trusting Him to resolve that which isn't resolved.  How utterly freeing!

So, what about you?  Are you languishing in the pit of your past, looking back to things that are keeping you from moving forward?  Does your head know, like Lot's wife, that the smart thing to do is be obedient, but your sinful flesh is beckoning you to look back?  Do you fear the future, so you cling to the comfort of what you know?  Take it to Him.  Tell Him.  He understands and He will deliver you.    

I can't put my finger on what lies in store, but I am determined to trust Him with whatever the future holds.  

My feelings lie....

You ever feel like this?  No matter what you do/say/pray, nothing seems to lift the cloud?  That has been me this week.  I've just come off of a ministry weekend that went well.  I got to deliver a message that the Lord had been working me through for several months.  I had the distinct privilege of watching a young woman meet Jesus on Saturday, knowing that the entire heavenly host were celebrating her second birth.  Incredible, eternity changing stuff. Yet, the cloud lingers...

and I  know that I have all I need to come through it.

I have Your Word, Jesus...it tells me that even though I feel on slippery ground, You are my rock
                                         It tells me that even though I feel exposed, You are my fortress
                                         it tells me that even though I feel hopeless in this darkness, You are my deliverer
                                         it tells me that even though I feel weak, You are my strength
                                         it tells me that even though I feel unprotected, You are my buckler
                                         it tells me that even though I feel unheard, You hear every word I cry out to You.

My feelings lie, but Your words never do.

Psalm 18:6 ~ In my distress I called upon the Lord, , and cried unto my God: He heard my voice out of his temple and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

Day 4 and 5 of the fast

The last two days of the fast were kind of a blur because of all of the activity leading up to the retreat.  Friday at lunch was the hardest.  We went to Wendy's and I was tempted the most to break the fast at lunch.  But, I didn't!!! Victory! I wanted to badly to finish well and did so.  My quiet time and prayer during this time wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was Saturday as I was delivering my message that I realized the results of my efforts.  I was exhausted.  However, He carried me through.  I wasn't a bit nervous and was even directed by the Lord to add a passage from my morning quiet time to the message, which I hate doing on the fly.  He carried me through.

I love you, Lord.

2 Timothy 4:7 ~ I have fought the good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

Fasting - Days 2 and 3

I am currently starting on day 4 of the Daniel Plan fast and am feeling fantastic!  Physically, I am feeling less muscle fatigue and more energy.  I think the biggest thing I've noticed is the effect that drinking water has had on me.  I think the old adage of we are probably more thirsty than hungry is true. I am drinking A LOT of water.  I will be honest, I miss iced tea and diet coke.  But, I am now enjoying water...yep, I am actually enjoying water.

Spiritually, this fast has brought me to a better understanding of sacrifice.  I've never had to truly sacrifice much...if I wanted it, I had it. Obviously.  Last night, a group of us went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner.  I'd planned it without even thinking about how I would adjust.  I had to make a choice to either be faithful to what the Lord and I had decided, or I could chose to break the fast.  In fact, it came up in conversation with the others and someone asked if I just couldn't break it for this one meal and then resume.  It was then that the light bulb went off for me. Yes, I could.  Do I think anything bad would have happened to me? No.  However, I am positive that I would have lost out on the blessing that He has for those who are faithful....even in something as simple as a fast. So, I said no to my flesh and yes to green beans stir fried in garlic and rice.  And it was absolutely delish because I was faithful to choosing Him over my flesh.  Gotta say I am happy,  happy,  happy over that one moment of victory!

I cannot wait to see what He does with the women's retreat this weekend...anticipating changed lives and one happy Savior!

Day One of Fast

I'd decided after some prayer and meditation that I was going to try to do a 5 day partial fast prior to the annual women's retreat that my church hosts.  There were several reasons why.  First, I wanted to seek the Lord in a different way up to the weekend.  I want Him to speak to me, guide me, and have my will in sync with His.  I know I can do that without fasting, but there is something about fasting that takes it to another level for me.  Second, I wanted, even if only temporarily, a break from the stronghold that food has on me. I.HATE.IT! I hate that I can never seem to have lasting power of that area of my life.  I needed to go into the weekend with a bit of victory, knowing that He can and will sustain me in every weakness. Finally, I wanted some intense detox of my body.  I have felt like crap, to put it mildly, and maybe this will help.

So, day one has come and gone and what's the insight?  Well, be careful what you wish for!  The Detox began almost immediately.  My flesh is revolting against this ghastly thing I am doing to it...teehee! I love it!  While I didn't love the worst leg cramp I have EVER experienced that caused my ankle to seize up, my toes to turn upwards and not release, and made me walk around the house looking like an idiot trying to get it to stop, it finally did.  I had the worst craving for a Big Mac yesterday...and I really am not a McDonald's fan.  Then there is the water.  Oh.my.lanta.  I so dislike water.  I like my diet coke and coffee.  I like my iced tea.  I do no like water.  But guess what? I am into day two and am craving it.  Who knew??

This fast is fruit, veggie, legume, and whole grains only. No flour, sugar, breads, meats, dairy, artificial anything... Yes, it could be a lot worse. The oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast was pretty stinkin' great!  I am digging the brown rice with hot sauce in it that I am eating for lunch.  You know what else?  The stomach/gall bladder problems seem to have settled.  I do find I am physically tired, but I know that's just my body trying to adjust to getting rid of all the junk that is in it.

The stronghold issue is going to take more than one day, but interestingly, the Lord and I seem to be having some serious conversations about it unlike ever before.  Instead of avoiding it, or planting my mind on psychotic goal setting that was unrealistic, I've just taken the issue to Him as it arises, asking Him to help me in the next scenario.

Spiritually, it's already been a winner. I can't explain it, but I seem to have better clarity.  My prayers are more focused, deeper, more raw and honest than usual.  I am picking up on nuances in Scripture that I hadn't.  Yes, there are also moments that I am completely fried mentally from the fatigue of the detox, but I know He will dole out the measure of grace I need and help me through.

On to day two....

Encourage!

Today I read a timely little reminder of one of the traits we should embody and share with others.  Nancy Leigh Demoss from the True Woman Movement posted this, "Be a sweet spirited, habitual encourager of God's people."  It struck a chord with me because I'd just received a text from an influencer in my life who was checking in to see how I was doing.  He shared that he was praying for me.  He knows that I have a big ministry opportunity just around the corner and I've been waging the battles that proceed those types of things. Wow.  How stinkin' awesome is that??!!

I got to thinking about the word encourage.  I like that word...a lot.  I want to be that kind of person.   I took it a bit further and decided to find out exactly what the biblical definition is for encourage.  I learned something new today!

According to the Strong's concordance, the word encourage means, "to make strong, to prevail upon, to press, to make firm, to support, to have or take or keep hold of, retain, hold up, sustain". Hmmmm...kind of different than I was defining it.  I usually always think of encourage as making someone feel good or better about things but if you look at the word itself, it sounds like what it means...to put courage in.  When I see the contextual verses where it's used, almost all of them have to do with battle and the need for someone to finish the battle well.

This puts a whole other light on this concept and I am even more determined to be an encourager.  I want to see my brothers and sisters finish the battles in their lives well.  God gave me a chance to put this into practice today.  A friend was feeling hurt by some situations going on in her church.  As she laid out the issue, it was clear to me that she needed to deal with this biblically.  The easy thing would have been to take her side, tell her what she was feeling was okay, and allow her to wallow in those feelings.  That's not encouragement.  That's not making her strong or making her firm. That's certainly not helping her to win a battle and restore unity.  I counseled her with  what God's word says about dealing with other believers and pointed her in that direction. Honestly, it wasn't easy to say some of the things I did because I wasn't sure if she really wanted my counsel or just someone to validate the hurt she was feeling.  Again, that's not truly biblical encouragement.  That's just making someone feel momentarily better, but actually hurts them in the long run. It doesn't help them win the battle, and actually weakens them for the war.

I believe a big part of encouraging is what Nancy pointed out at the beginning of her post...sweet spirited.  Am I delivering those truthful words in a spirit of love?  Do I really have their best interest at heart?  Am I investing in their circumstances by taking them to God's counsel instead of mine?

Consider being a sweet spirited, habitual encourager...we need you!

Small choices, big benefit

The first day of the new year didn't start off with a bang...but rather just seemed to putter along saying, "This is going to be like any other day".

But that's a lie. Today was different because of some purposeful decisions on my part, and Jesus showing up and doing what only He can do.

First decision...to start a new daily in the word reading plan. My friend Lara talked to me about a reading plan and lead me to one that divides the Word into 7 categories and mixes up where I am reading each day. Right out of the gate, my OCD tendencies (ok, maybe legalistic is a better word!) flared up and I was feeling this was just a little 'wrong' , but the truth squelched those fears as soon as I finished the assigned reading in Romans today.

First view of His presence....while reading in Romans, He answered some questions that I have been peppering Him with for the past few weeks...questions of fairness, justice, and judging. He reassured me that He has it under control and that the Holy Spirit is quite capable of doing His job without the assistance of Carla, thank you very much. For the finishing touch, He reminded me of the hypocrisy that often befalls someone who wants to teach God's word by asking a simple question...am I living it? O-U-C-H.

Second decision ... I want to limit the time I spend on social media because honestly it's not been great for my soul. It's too easy to read emotion into something not intended to be that way, or to be nosy in things that I really have no need of knowing even if it's splattered all over my news feed or worse yet, to see the passive aggressive posts that frankly piss me off and then convict me because I know that could be me in a heartbeat. Just this past week I had a sweet friend that would NEVER (yes, she is that kind!) intentionally hurt a soul get beat up through one such post. No going to to her get her side of the story and reconciling like adults...nope, let's attack via status posts and bring another into the fray to top it off. Ugh. So, today I have purposely logged out of Facebook on my phone so that I am not getting the updates regularly. I will admit that my random times of going cold turkey have been a bit easier, but I am trying to figure out how to use social media in a healthy way.

Second view of His presence.... one of the times that I was on FB, I was checking out what friends had been doing for the new year and found out that someone had unfriended me. Must have been their new year's decision for their soul. I will admit that this move didn't really surprise me. There has been no relationship for several months. What did surprise me was that I wasn't hurt or angry by the move...but rather I immediately prayed for her. I prayed that whatever the reason she felt to do this to me and others, that He would heal that hurt. I prayed that the bitterness that will take root if we allow it would not be present for any of us. That's Jesus...because that isn't the normal Carla. My first line of defense is usually to go on the offense. To figure it out, to fix it, to make it look pretty, to get back, to hold onto hurt. Not today. I am so thankful for His leading in this response...and so surprised that I followed! One of those small choices that will lead to big changes, me thinks!

I am going to take these small choices and big interventions and chalk the first day of 2014 up as a really good one! I know if I keep after it, I will reap well.