Day 29 - Something I am listening to

Kind of an odd photo subject to end this month long effort on, but heck, I will go with it!  I usually listen to Pandora at work, but most of the time you will find me listening to my Ipod.  A friend of mine loaded mine with all kinds of wonderful music.  Everything from classical to rock, and anything in between.  Most of it is Christian music, but even that is an eclectic mix of styles.  It fits with my personality perfectly because I am often inspired and moved by very differing things. 

I have to admit there are times when the rebellion kicks in and I find myself listening to lyrics that validate my mood. Most of this music will not be found on my Ipod because my music supplier would NEVER own some of it!  Yes, I have been told that my taste in music is questionable. :) Often when I am a bit ticked, I find myself listening to what I fondly call angry independent girl music.... Pink, Rhianna, etc.  I have 'discovered' Adele in the recent weeks and am enjoying her CD immensely. What a voice! Sometimes, I like listening to older stuff like Rod Stewart, the BeeGees, Queen and the Eagles. They bring back some fun memories.  And contrary to popular opinion, I DO NOT listen to Barry Manilow...unless a song happens to pop up on the radio.  Then you may find me singing to the Copa...Copacabana.  He really does write the songs that make the whole world sing....

Anyway, there is a song from my Ipod that has captured my heart and I want to share it with you as my parting gift for you enduring with me during this trek through photos for the month of February!

 

Days 26,27 and 28: Night, something you ate, and money

This is a picture of the lodge where we held our retreat taken at dusk. This was a wonderful place to get away for 24 hours.  It reminds me of where I grew up... a place away from the world, safe, where I belonged.  Nighttime was so beautiful on the farm, regardless of the season.  I miss that serenity.  So peaceful and a powerful place for the Lord to do His work.  As I look back over the past month plus since the retreat, I am in awe of all He has refined in me.  There is no peace that matches when I know I am in the eye of His will in many areas of my life. 

For something I ate...it would be leftovers from Alfano's.  Now, I am not a huge fan of their pizza, but my roommate is.  There are a few other people that I know that just love the stuff...in fact, they were all together last week and were talking and I overheard them comment that they knew the phone number by heart.  I just shook my head.  For me, if you have pizza in Monmouth, it's Italian Village.  I know many will disagree, but that's my pizza opinion.  However, if you want totally EXCELLENT pizza in the Monmouth area, Mama Harriet's exceeds them all!!




Finally, money.  If you want a tool or program that is helpful in learning to budget and really helps you look at money differently, I highly recommend Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace.  It's helping tremendously in dumping debt, saving, giving, and planning for the future.  As with anything, it is a tool that should be used in conjunction with much prayer and seeking the Lord.  He has different plans for each of us and there is no one method that works perfectly for every situation.  However, I do believe that Dave has the right idea of managing money, especially debt.  Telling myself no has been a good thing! :)

Day 25 - Green

I was really wondering what in the world I was going to photo and blog on that was green.  Then some unfortunate events yesterday coupled with the avocado green pie safe that my room mate owns gave me an idea.   According to family lore, it's the only piece of furniture from the Ault side of her family.  Written on the back of the cabinet is a history of where it has been throughout it's history.  It was given to Sherri's great grandmother in 1900 as a wedding present from her aunt who had had it in her family.  Sherri acquired it through her grandparents who wanted it to stay on the family farmstead ~ the house we live in.  What a wonderful tradition they have developed and I know Sherri will do the same in passing it on when it is time.

This got me to thinking about the stuff I own and how attached I can become to material objects with sentimental value.  These thoughts actually started yesterday when a neighbor of mine experienced a devastating fire in their home.  When I first got the call yesterday, all I could think of was praying that the family that lives there was safe.  Then I also thought of their dog and prayed it was okay.  I also prayed for the EMS personnel that were risking their lives to possibly save other lives and property.  As I received other calls, I knew it was a big fire and that increased my prayers for all the people involved in this situation.  By the time I was returning home from work, I learned that aside from a few minor injuries to some heroic firefighters, no lives were lost.  I praised Jesus for answering my many prayers.  Then I drove by the house. Wow.  Utter devastation.  The garage completely gone, the house and contents lost. Everything.  My heart ached for the family in a bittersweet feeling. I was elated that they were all safe and sound, but I hurt for them at the thought of having to rebuild, knowing that there were probably items, like the Ault pie safe, that cannot be replaced.  Yet, something inside of me bets that this family, while hurting immensely, knows that the important things remained.

That's what I want from my life.  Do the important things remain?  Do others know I love the Lord above all?  Do they know that I really do love them and care for them?  Are others joining  me in eternity because I had the guts to share Jesus with them over the fear that they may reject me?  Am I putting more stock in what I have than who is around me?  Somethings to ponder today.............

Day 24 - Inside my bathroom cabinet

Another odd photo op, but I will keep within the spirit of the list!  I had contemplated cleaning it all out and making it look a little bit prettier, but changed my mind.  This is what you'd see if you opened the cabinet...and if you are like a lot of people, you have probably opened a few bathroom medicine cabinets while visiting other people's homes.

I always love the Funniest Home videos where an unsuspecting snoop is caught in the act of opening a medicine cabinet that doesn't belong to them...I laugh and then feel for them because I have been guilty of being a snoop on a few occasions.  What do you suppose drives us to open them up?  Why are we so nosy about what people store in their bathroom vanities??  I really don't care if people want to look through mine ~ I keep nothing of importance in there and I love the new vanity I have in my redecorated bathroom!  Now, my old one was a different story...it was a throw back to the 1960s (yep, original to the house!) that even had a box in it where men could dispose of their razor blades!!  It had no handles to easily open the glass doors and I was invariably cutting my hands on the sharp edges...if anyone dared tried to open it, they's almost always walk away with a laceration. 

Anyway, that's the story of my medicine cabinet.  Feel free to check it out the next time you are over! :)

Happy Birthday, Kelli!

Today I am taking a break from the photo of the day blog series to honor someone I have known all of her life...and most of mine.  As is with most sisters, this relationship has been woven with many, many memories ~ some great ones and some not so great.  We have laughed, cried, fought, forgiven and loved each other as only sisters can do.  I admit, I haven't been the best big sister and I really wish I could go back and change the way I handled a lot of things.  Yet, here we are 46 years later, still growing together.  Let me tell you some spectacular things that make Kelli unique and why I admire and respect her...

First, she is persistent!  Now, for those who know her really well, you are probably chuckling that I started it off with this description.  You see, we all kind of tease Kel about being overly persistent...as in OCD!  Yet, for all of the ribbing she receives, this is a great trait most of the time.  When Kelli believes in something, she will stick with it, fight for it, and see it come to fruition.  I know that because her persistence is the reason that our family came to know Christ.  She got saved around the time she was in 3rd or 4th grade and was adamant that all of us started going to church.  It was her persistence, along with the Lord's moving that started the Ewings on an adventure of knowing Jesus.  I will be eternally grateful for her!

Second, she is hilarious!  Kelli is one of the funniest people I have ever spent time with.  I especially love when she, Dad and Jeff get going because they can play off of each other so well.  She can zing a person before they ever knew what hit them!

Third, she loves deeply!  This is probably the thing I respect the most about her.  For someone who can come across as tough at times, she is really a softie with a huge heart.  Just ask the kids she has taught over the years.  She can control a classroom of 5th graders better than anyone I know ~ she expects good behavior, for them to try their best, and she sets the expectation bar high ~ and yet those kids know that she loves them!!  She is their biggest cheerleader, one who will celebrate their uniqueness, give a pat on the back or a hug when they need one.  She is the same way with her family and friends.  She isn't afraid to confront when she needs to because she loves so deeply and wants to see all of us be the best we can be.

Finally, I just want to say that I love Kelli because she is Kelli ~ no more, no less.  I have always felt a bit protective of her (even though I was the worst at picking on her!!!) and have many wonderful memories of our growing up together.  I remember the day she had her stroke almost two years ago and the helpless fear I had knowing as her big sister, I couldn't protect her or fix this for her.  I remember praying like I have never prayed before as I literally raced to Peoria to wait for her to arrive at the hospital.  I specifically asked God to heal her and to allow her to be the Kelli she is.  I remember sitting outside the Neuro unit waiting for her to be wheeled in from her life flight and seeing her come through those doors.  She took one look at me, pointed her fingers as me and pretended to shoot me and wink at the same time.  I knew at that moment that the Lord loved her and I so much that He was going to fix this...and He has.  Kelli is a deeper, more loving person today in spite of that set back.  She has allowed the Lord to soften her.  God really can make something good come out of something bad ~ Kelli proves that!

Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people!  I love you, Kelli!!

Two for the price of one (Days 22/23)- Where I work and shoes

OK, for today, you will get two photos for the price of one, because tomorrow there will be an interruption to the flow of the Feb Foto blog to bring a special blog to you. I have to say that these two subjects are ones that I really have no interest in blogging about. Funny, because I used to be obsessed with both!! So, with a bit of an apology for a weak entry for today, here goes nothing ~

This is just weird to me...I have no idea what to blog on about where I work. This is my desk in my office...yeah, not much for decorating am I?!  I am blessed to have worked in Mercer County for over 14 years now.  Great people, great community.  I guess I can tell you how much God has changed in my thought processes about work...it does not define who I am, but rather it is what I do to earn money. God gets all the glory and thanks for allowing me to have a good job!

 These are one of the MANY pairs of shoes I have in my possession, but these are perhaps my favorite.  They fit perfectly!  I remember when I first came to Mercer County, I was told I have big shoes to fill because I was following an amazing Administrator.  If I had a dime for every time I heard those words, I'd be wealthy!  Funny thing, I never did try to fill his shoes.  I just tried to do the best I knew how to do and that always seemed to work for me.  I've never really been one to compare myself to another because it is just futile.  I've always felt very honored that Mr. Ehrenhart personally hand picked me to succeed him...and very thankful to my Dad for encouraging me to apply and to the Lord for guiding my shoe clad feet all those years ago!

Day 21 - A fave photo of me

Today's photo of the day requirement was one that I really went back and forth on.  How do I blog this subject?  I could talk of how we humans look on the outside but God looks on the inward appearance of a man.  While that is a great subject, I am just not feeling that He is leading me to go there.  I am really being convicted of the need to confess a fault in my life.  I am a recovering narcissist.  Yep, I really like seeing a good photo of myself.  Unfortunately, it goes beyond just that.  I have an uncanny ability to somehow make everything about me.  Now before you think I am being facetious, I understand that all of us are selfish and tend to care for ourselves a bit more than perhaps we should.  But the Lord has revealed to me over the past few years that I am incredibly egocentric.  Even in the midst of trying to be humble, I have twisted it to be a situation of 'look at me'.  So, just how am I in the recovery steps of overcoming this insidious trait?

The Word of God.  It is really that simple....and that difficult.  As I began to read and study His word in earnest, He started to open my eyes to the reality that is Carla.  He has shown me that He loves me so completely (Eph 3:16-19) as I am and, in love that is rooted and grounded in my life, He would begin the process of refining me to become someone that brings glory to the One who truly deserves it.  Now, it is one thing to just read the Bible.  It is a whole other thing to apply and obey what it says.  Wish I could say that I am great at it, but I am a work in progress in this area.  Through His love, I have learned to trust Him in ways deeper than I have ever trusted anyone before.  Through His love, I have learned to follow His leading when I can't see the end result.  Through His love, I have learned not to make excuses for my selfishness, but to call it out in my life and deal boldly with it.  As you can see, none of the growth and victory that I have so undeservedly experienced would have ever been possible without His love and all that entails.  Nothing that I see in a photo will last...but His Word shall prevail.

My prayer today is that He receives the glory for the changes He is making in me.

Isaiah 40:8~The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.

Day 20 - Handwriting

It's so funny how a random conversation ends up being what I get to blog about today!  I spent the better part of an afternoon hanging out with two people whom I love to sit, have coffee and conversation.  We were discussing the lost art of letter writing and how much we all love to get a handwritten letter or card in the mail.  I get home and realize that my topic for today is handwriting...how cool is that!  I then thought to a notebook that my sister, Jennifer, made for me several years back that has a wide variety of hand written notes from people I cherish.  The picture above is the portion that my parents wrote to me.  I will pull this book out on occasion and read through it and every word is such an encouragement!  I love that almost all of it is handwritten, with penmanship that is as unique as the personalities they represent.  I have a rather large box of all kinds of letters, cards, and notes that I have kept for years.  When life really gets to me, I will pull them out and just read them and almost immediately my mood is lifted because I have some wonderful handwritten memories from some wonderful people.

This also convicted me.  I used to be so much better at sending a note in the mail to encourage others and I've kind of lost that over the past couple of years.  It's time to become more purposeful at encouraging others through letter writing.

Day 19 - Something I hate to do

This picture makes me giggle...probably because I can so readily relate to it.  There are a few things that I really don't like to do, but I hate to untangle knots.  Whether it's shoe laces, fine chained necklaces, garden hoses, or cable cords, I really display a low frustration threshold when it comes to straightening them out.  Mostly because I know that about 98% of the reason that I am having to do so is because of my lazy carelessness.  If I'd have properly stored any of the above, well then, I'd not be in the pickle of undoing them!

I find that sin in my life is the same way.  Often it is my inattention to a small detail, choice, decision, or thought that starts an intertwining of wickedness around my heart.  I can pretty much guarantee that all of my missteps occur in one of three areas spelled out in 1 John 2:16 ~ For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. Either my carnal self desires something, my eyes see something that makes me want it, or it's a source of pride.  Oh the havoc each of those things have wreaked on my life at one time or another.  The worst part is trying to undo the damage (untangling the knot) that those choices have caused.

I've experienced such times in my life.  I made choices not to follow what I know the Lord was telling me to do.  Even though He clearly told me to wait, I kept pushing the boundaries.  Instead of obeying His protective admonishment, I chose to move forward with my own agenda.  Unfortunately, I ended up with a situation that has left a lot of shrapnel in several lives and me holding a big entangled mess.  It is ever so painful to try to unknot those feelings, issues, and hurt.  There are somethings that can be fixed, but so often there are permanent scars that will be left behind.  Other times, it's like what Rollo said to Juno when she was going to buy test to see if she was pregnant, "That ain't no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet." Yes, I liked the movie Juno and loved that quote because it is so true...sometimes we just cannot undo the consequences of our sin.

So what lessons are learned from all of this tangled mess...obedience, taking thoughts captive and taking them to the throne, PRAYER is invaluable, the Lord forgives, people can forgive but may not want be close any longer, to guard my heart, and that the Word of God is more precious than I've ever understood.  I've also learned that He is walking with me with every knot I release.  What a gracious Friend I have in Jesus!

Day 18 - Drink

A piping hot cup of apple cider, warm winter sunlight streaming through the south window of my living room, and a sweet friend to share the afternoon/evening with.  That was my day 18, and oh what a good day it was!

For those who don't know her, the picture is of my friend Catie.  Saturday was our day to hang together during her busy vacation from China.  Catie lives in Baotou and teaches English in a university...and ministers to the hearts of her students.  It was great to be able to hear about all of her adventures in her new culture, how she is being stretched, and how she is in the sweet spot of God's call on her life.  For me, the most heart warming part is to see the transformation from the young insecure college woman into a more self assured, godly woman.  I remember the first time I met Catie and I honestly thought we would probably not have a lot in common.  I was loud and she was super quiet.  I remember the times we spent together in the WOW bible studies, the time that she and Kendale spent almost the entire weekend hanging out in my home, the summer she lived with us, the tears and frustrations we have shared.  Boy, was I wrong on my first impression!!  She has ministered to my soul on countless occasions - words of encouragement, words of admonishment, but mostly she has shown me what it's like to be a true servant of Christ.  As I have told her, and now want the rest of you to know, this young woman has taught me what it's like to sacrifice and heed to the call of Christ.  I am so privileged to know her and count it a blessing beyond measure that the Lord saw fit to entwine our lives!  I love you, my friend!

Day 17 - Time

Today's picture is of the clock that is located in the center of College Avenue in Aledo.  I love it, even if the four faces often tell differing times. It reminds me daily when I pass it that there is only so much of the commodity of time that I have been given and I want to make the best use of it.  I remember hearing (and swearing I would never say!) older people tell me that time passes quickly and to enjoy it because it will be gone before I knew it.  Yep, I now say the same thing to those who think they have all the time in the world to get to the important stuff!

Some verses that have been playing heavily on my heart over the past 8 - 12 month are found in Ephesians 5:15-17 where Paul is talking to the believers in Ephesus.  He tells them: See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.  Honestly, I am far from living this well.  It has been a lot of trial and error, some willful choices to do what I want to do, and some 'good' mistakes that have taught me a lesson or two along the way.  Today, I'd like to share a few of those lessons that the Lord has graciously taught me so far.

1.  ROI ~ This is a financial acronym that certainly fits in the concept of redeeming time wisely.  It stands for "Return on Investment".  As a wise financial manager looks to invest money in products that will give them the largest bang for their buck, the Lord has been teaching me that to be a wise, godly woman, I too need to spend my time in things that bring the largest return in investment.  Do not misunderstand...the largest spiritual  ROI is always about His glory and kingdom, not my personal gain, happiness or comfort.  Oh, He is often so gracious that He allows those blessings to come.  However, there are times when the choice is very difficult and may cost me something. That leads me to the second point.

2.  Opportunity Cost ~ This is a term from the world of economics as well.  The definition of an opportunity cost is the benefits you could have received by taking an alternative action. There have been activities, ministries and people that I have had to say no to, reduce the frequency of, or tweak the direction of in order to bring more glory to the Lord.  Some have been easy to do, but others have frankly taken me to my knees in prayer and pain.  I didn't want to have to let go, but I knew that to not do so would be sacrificing the best for the good.  Still, there are many things that the Lord is prying from my white knuckled grip.  I am a work in progress!

3.  Eternal Focus ~ The Lord has changed my heart the most in this area regarding time.  He has methodically reminded me that I am living in an eternal spectrum that began at the moment I trusted Christ as my Savior.  It isn't some time off in the future, but here and now.  What I do today will affect eternity future.  The only thing I can take to heaven with me is another soul.  This forces me to ask the question, "How will the time I put towards this activity or relationship change eternity?" Sometimes, He asks me to be involved for a period of time, and then moves me.  Sometimes, He tells me that He doesn't want me involved.  Sometimes, it's a lifetime assignment.

The bottom line is that I want my life to count, and just not for anything.  I want it to count for the most important thing - bringing glory to the One who stepped into time to save me.

Day 16 - Something New

This was a tough one for me as I have not purchased or aquired something for myself since Christmas, therefore nothing to photograph!  I do have a new haricut, but it's really just a shorter version of the same one I have had for several years.  So, I've decided that the newest something for me is a new attitude that is developing in me...one that is more centered, more eternal focused, more creative and much calmer than the usual one.  Oh, yeah, I still get rattled or on a yank about stuff that truly miffs me, but I am more readily lining those times up with Scripture and covering in prayer than I used to.  So, to celebrate, I am bring back a video from 1984 - Miss Patti LaBelle!  I was very tempted to download the one with the Solid Gold Dancers for my sister Jennifer, but I prefer the sound on this one...and for all of you who were pre-teens, teens or early twenty somethings ~ check out the outfits and hair!!! Boy, does this bring back memories!!

Enjoy!!

Day 15 - Phone

If you've seen my FB page in the past week, you are probably aware that my Blackberry met a terrible fate last Friday as it was run over by a co-worker's car.  At work, we are still trying to figure out the logistics of all that went down and have concluded that we just don't know how it happened, but it's provided for some entertaining moments.  Several staff members scoured the facility, my car, the parking lot, etc. to help me find it to no avail.  What was more interesting to me was my response to the whole thing ~ as I told them, "It's only a phone and it can be replaced."  While I honestly felt that way, inside there was a mild feeling like I'd lost an appendage!  That morning I'd been praying that I would be more attentive to God's whispers and that I really wanted to hear Him.  We chuckled that He had to take my phone away to get me to pay attention...but I now believe He did use the series of unfortunate events to show me something. 

I have taken various "fasts" over the past several years, everything from Facebook to food.  Most of the time it is not because I am praying and fasting for something, but rather because I want to seek His face and something is getting in the way of that.  I become too engrossed in television, technology, or whatever and it starts to take a place of preeminence in my life.  I find that it becomes a stronghold over me, my thoughts, my time, and my listening skills.  The Blackberry is no exception.  I became acutely aware that I was giving it so much attention that those moments of quiet were virtually non-existent.  Because of my jobs, I've carried a cell phone for over 10 years so that I can be reached at anytime with any issue...before that it was a pager.  However, this 'hiatus' from the phone for 24 hours, coupled with my reading about celebrating a biblical sabbath, has me thinking that I must take time from being accessible to the world to go to the mountain and be alone with Him. 

One of my favorite verses on this subject is 1Corinthians 10:23 ~ All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.  In other words, it's okay for me to have the cell phone, but there comes a point when I have to determine whether the use is building up or tearing down my life.  Now my job is to figure out what that is going to look like in my life and put a permanent plan in place to ensure it is in it's appropriate place!

February 14 - Heart

I have to admit, I rolled my eyes when I saw the photo for today was a heart...really? How original.  Part of that feeling is a tiny bit of residual hate for Valentine's Day. I came to terms several years ago that I was NOT going to judge my 'love worthiness' on a day created by Hallmark, nor was I going continue to buy into the Hollywood story of how romance and love were to be played out.  So, that left me with the question, "How do I blog this one?"

I'd thought about talking of how wicked and deceitful the heart is (Jeramiah 17:9) but that is a bit dark, even if it is true. I thought about writing on the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13, but that could take all day.  So I decided to compromise and fall somewhere in the middle.  We all have things that capture our hearts ~ God, people, pets, addictions, activities ~ and we will spend a lot of time, energy, and money to express our love for those things.  My checkbook is all too often a great indicator of a heart that's been captured by something I'd rather not have my heart captured by!

I've learned that real love cannot exist without sacrifice.  For it to be authentic, those two must go hand in glove. Honestly, I all too often do not love well.  I can be far too selfish (again, see checkbook! :) ).  Fortunately, I have a great example of what love is ~ Jesus Christ.  What He did on the cross for me is the ultimate example of real love.  I didn't deserve that mercy and grace, but He did it anyway.  I don't deserve His constant involvement in my life, but He gives it anyway.  I don't deserve to get to spend eternity in heaven with Him, but He's preparing a place for me anyway.  All because He loves me!  Folks, Hallmark and Hollywood's version of 'love' cannot begin to be compared...because it isn't love.  My question is: Do you know this kind of love?  He's knocking at the door of your heart, wanting to give it to you.  All you have to do is accept it.

Now for those of us who do know Jesus, I think we would probably all say we could work on our love skills a bit with each other.  I came across this quote that I'd written in my Bible years ago that often convicts me when I am not feeling the love towards another person:
            

                     "Anyone can pass judgment - but can they lay down their lives in love, intercession and faith for the one they are judging?  Can they target an area of need and rather than criticizing, fast and pray, asking God to supply the very virtue they feel lacking?  And then persevere in that love - motivated in prayer until that fallen area blooms in godliness?  Such is the life Christ commands we follow!" 

                        Francis Fragipane from Holiness, Truth and the Presence

May this be the heart I have.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

John 15:13   Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 

Day 13 - Blue

This is a no brainer for me...love the ocean.  Enjoy the pics of the Bahamas!

Day 12 - Inside your closet

When I read this photo topic, I laughed and said, "That isn't happening!"  Yup, my closet is a complete disaster!!  So you get a picture of the closed door...which got my thoughts to rolling around in my head...

This is a great example of how I have too lived much of my Christian life.  I have not been authentic, but rather have played the part of the politically correct Christian.  I've put on the exterior show, not allowing too many people to get too close lest they see the utter disaster that is on the inside.  I've foolishly thought I could also close off those areas to God, even though I knew He knew the mess that I was ~ if the door was closed, I could ignore it.  Funny thing...eventually the mess behind the door makes it's way out ~ just like the disaster in my closet has made it's way out into my bedroom!

That happened to me spiritually...the mess within came flooding out when I started to allow the power of His Word to sweep out those dark crevasses of my heart.  Through discipleship, spending time consistently reading and applying the Bible to  my attitudes and actions, and having accountability, the Lord has begun to unpeel the layers of years of  being a poser and replacing them with His truth.  It has been painful, difficult, overwhelming and I have wanted to give up innumerable times!  That being said, it has been MORE than worth all of those feelings!!  I am still a work in progress, but I see how He has refined me and is shaping me to be more like He is.

I am living proof that if you apply what you learn from Scripture (James 1:20), ask Him to draw close to you (James 4:8), confess your faults to another who is consistently walking with Jesus and will hold you to HIS standards in love (James 5:16), then He is faithful to grow you in ways you never dreamed possible!

~ hugs ~

Day 11 - Things that make you happy



As is typical Carla, I am reserving the right to change this up a bit...since happiness is dependent upon circumstances, I choose not to really care about it that much.  What I do get excited about is being joyfilled...it's so much deeper than circumstantial happenstance.  So, I am posting several pics of things that bring me deep joy!  They are in no particular order of importance, it was just how my server allowed me to post them! Hope you enjoy them...



Logan





Ri







Friends



Parents



Coco



Siblings



God's creation



travel



Livi

What I dont have a photo of is the thing that brings me the most joy ~ Jesus!

Day 10 - Self Portrait

As I was looking for a picture, the above was the one that I feel most captures my spirit.  Lots of laugh lines around the eyes (which is my favorite feature), very casual and smiling.  Comfortable in my own skin.  Boy, has it taken a long (perhaps too long!) time getting there.

For years I allowed the labels others gave me to define what I thought of myself. They ran the gamut: loving, mean, kind, selfish, ugly, beautiful, fat, assertive, aggressive, shy, responsible, quiet, considerate, rude, giving, helpful, encouraging, not enough, too much, carnal, too religious, too serious, juvenile, settling, not living up to potential, the golden child, gifted, smart, Pollyanna, cute, funny, weak, strong...and the list goes on.

God gave me a gift many years ago of seeing some truth that has stuck with me in those times when I start to allow the world an opinion of who I am. He showed me that all too often when someone wants to change me, it's really something in themselves that they want to change. I have honestly never wanted to be someone else.  Yes, there are attributes about people that I have wanted to have, but to actually be someone else never crossed my mind.  I like me.  I like the way the Lord has fashioned me, the family He placed me in, the life he has given me and I like that He is constantly working to refine me into a better me!  Yes, there are things I'd like to change, but I will not allow that to dictate defining me.  Mercy Me has a song that perfectly says what I want my life to be known for:

So, enough about me...what about you? What's a word or two to describe the unique you?  I'd love to hear how you appreciate the creation that is YOU!

Day Nine - Front Door

This picture thing has been a challenge and I am glad my friend, Missy, threw it out there...makes me think!  I thought about several front doors I could have taken pictures of, but the winner was the front door to my house...specifically the one that leads into my living room.

I just realized that I have lived in this house longer than any other place in my entire life.  How it came about that I became a homeowner was such a blessing in itself.  My home was actually the home of a very wonderful couple that I count as surrogate grandparents in my life.  They were so good to sell the homestead for a price that helped two struggling women achieve the 'American Dream' - owning a home and land.  With that in mind, my roommate and I decided that we would 'pay it forward' and we dedicated this home as a place where God gets priority and people get respite and healing.  We have seen many, many people walk through those doors.  Sometimes they have been celebratory occasions with lots of laughter.  Sometimes they have been gut wrenching moments of pain and grief.  We've had college students live with us and I pray that they saw Jesus a bit clearer by our lives.  We've had complete strangers stay and by the weeks end, we were friends.  We've had moms who needed a night out come over and craft, watch a movie, or just talk.  We've held slumber parties for various young people, and held a bridal shower for a girl we barely knew who is now counted among a dear and cherished friend.  We've done some odd stuff as well...the strangest being we cooked breakfast for a group of men for a bachelor party!  That one always makes me laugh!

When we remodeled the area that the front door opens to, we held a blessings party and invited a bunch of people over.  Before the floor was laid, we had everyone write their favorite verse and sign their names on the concrete floor.  I recently pulled some pictures out of that event and my heart was so touched by what I have seen the Lord do over the years.  He has blessed me beyond measure and I pray that my home will bless others as well.

Day 8 - Sun

Sorry, been MIA with the pic of the day blog...sometimes life is just like that and I need a bit of a 'prod' from an inner circle member to get me moving again.
 
Today's word was sun and given how the weather has been, I thought this could be a tough one to capture today.  However, when I got up, the sun was just peeking through the thick layer of clouds.  I knew then that I had a pic and a blog topic.

How often do we live in that world?  Heavy clouds of disappointment, fear, frustration, failure seem to surround us at times.  Being a person who likes to see where she's going (just ask my friends how much I prefer to be in control and drive wherever we are going!!), those clouds are all too often a big stressor in my life.  But just like the sun peeking out to shine some light on my morning commute, so the Son shines His light on my path when I can't see the direction He's taking me.  I am learning to embrace the "Trust me for the next step" process He has me on right now. 

2/3/12 - Hands

I knew just what I was going to post when I saw this word for today. Mom has been at the receiving end of her children's comments about the, shall we say, exceptional size of her hands and feet.  As she reminds us, she is fearfully (so true...just have one of those hands hit your hinder parts!) and wonderfully made and her hands are a part of that!  We comment because if you look at my parents hands, one has to wonder where the dwarf like hands of my sister and I fall on the DNA chain.  The other two have normal size hands, so we are just plain perplexed.

All kidding aside, there is more to the hand you see in the picture.  Those hands have given much in the 70+ years they've been around.  I want to take today's blog and honor the woman that those hands belong to.  First, those are the hands of one of the hardest workers you will ever meet.  Mom has an amazing work ethic and is always busy doing something.  She was diligent in training her children that work was a good thing and (chant it with me Ewing siblings!) "If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing the right way the first time!"  Second, those hands belong to one who values and practices loyalty...with a vengeance!  This is a trait I've always admired in Mom.  She is loyal to a fault.  We often laugh that she can crack on one of us, but Lord help the soul who says a word about her husband, kids, and definitely her grand kids!  If you've never seen a momma bear go after her cubs in the wild, save yourself a trip and tread on Hez's family...but don't say I didn't warn you!  Third, those hands have held one man's hand for almost 56 years.  My parents marriage is a source of joy and, I admit, pride for me.  I am very proud of the relationship my folks have.  It gives me a lot of hope.  They would admit it hasn't always been easy, but at the end of the day, I know beyond any doubt, they will say it was worth any bad time.  Fourth, those hands have provided a lot of training to 4 children, 3 grandchildren and a host of their friends over the years.  From teaching us how to cook to how to change a tire (yes, Dad, I am outing her...she taught me how to do that one time!), they have been an important part of shaping who we have become.  They've certainly been part of the rod of correction when attached to a flip flop that met up with our backsides on occasion!  Fifth, those hands have been folded together in prayer many, many times.  Circumstances in any family can bring people to their knees, and ours was certainly no different.  So often, Mom would immediately turn to pray and lead us in the same. Finally, those hands have been the tools for encouragement whether it be cheering us on, patting us on the back, playing 'last hits', tossing a tomato at Jen's car window, writing notes, or hugging.

Today, I thank God for my Mom.  She's one in a million and I love her very much!

P.S.  Ask her about how those hands shot a skunk one time.... :D

February 2 - Words

I really had to put my thinking cap on for day two - "Words".  Sometimes I wonder if I am not as transparent as I long to be and am perceived as being a bit too 'religious' with my blogs and posts.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am about as not religious as you can get.  Once I discovered that being a 'good girl' was never going to get me to heaven, it took so much religious do good pressure off.  Now I enjoy a real relationship with my Savior that is full of good and, honestly, naughty, inappropriate, not Christlike Carla.  This picture has two sets of words...the bottom layer are just a few of the many tomes that I have scribed over the years.  They are full of the real Carla...things that have made me laugh and cry, times of being in love and then not being in love, times of pissed off ranting and cut to the depths of my core repentance, times of pleading in prayer for people I love more than my own life, and stuff that I wouldn't want another soul to read (my roomie has promised to burn them after I die - he he).  The top layer are the words that have matured the writing of the journals below.  God's Words.  Words that I do love.  Words that have healed me.  Words that have given me hope when I felt I didn't have any.  Words that calmed the fears that have welled up in my soul. Words that have corrected me. Words that have comforted me through many losses over the years. Words that have convicted me. Words that have built my faith.  Words that have saved my soul.

Psalm 119:105 - Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

February Photo of the Day - Day 1 - My View

My friend, Missy, shared an idea of posting a photo a day for the month of February depicting the topic du jour.  Today's is 'my view today'... so here it is:

 Yeah, I know...not going to win any awards, but it said something to me.  You see, when I left home, the skies were clear, the sun was just coming up and I thought, "Oh, I should take a pic", then I thought, no, I will wait til later on my way to work.  I got about 2/3 of the way to work when, 'BAM'! I was surrounded by a dense, pea like fog.  Two things came to mind...first, our days can be filled with sun and darkness, so appreciate the sun while it's here.  The second, and most important to me today, was the pain, grief, hurt that many feel can envelope them as densely and suddenly as that fog did my vehicle this morning.  It was a great reminder for me to be praying for several that I know are trying to find their way out of the fog of circumstances.  So I prayed for those I know by name that need light shed on their lives as a beacon of hope, and for those whose pain I don't know of personally.  If that is you, may He bring you hope.