The Diva goes fishing....and learns something!

I had a truly excellent weekend.  What I had originally planned as a time of having no company at the house ended up being just the opposite.  I am getting used to God doing that to me...even if I still bristle at changing 'my plans'.  However, the bristling is becoming less and less because of how He has changed me in the past 8 months.  I am s-l-o-w-l-y learning to hold my plans, dreams, and future with open hands.  You see, I don't want to miss one single opportunity/blessing/lesson that He has for me.  They've been that good!  This weekend was no different.

One thing I've learned is that I want to make the most of pouring Christ into my nephew and nieces lives whenever I can.  It started Friday night when Logan wanted to watch 'Courageous'.  I love that he is open to spiritual discussions, and this movie brought about many throughout the weekend.  I am thankful for men like the Kendrick brothers who will risk the ridicule of not being 'Hollywood enough' with their productions but will make movies with incredible themes.  I am thankful that Logan enjoyed it so much that he wanted to watch it twice!

On Saturday, we decided to go fishing at my neighbor's pond.  Now, I can hear the giggles...yes, I am a bit of a girly girl or diva.  Yes, I like hair product, make-up, and perfume.  However, I would NEVER have survived growing up in the family that I did if I hadn't had some tomboy in me!  I rode go carts, motorcycles, played softball, and learned to shoot a gun ~ really, really well! :)  So back to my story...Logan and I took our night crawlers, stopped and picked up the fishing gear at Bill's and made our way to the pond.  The hour that we spent down there was a prime time for the Lord to
teach me a valuable lesson about fishing...for the souls of men and women.  As we got the lines baited and started casting in, I quietly prayed for the Lord to open doors for discussion with Logan.  Those doors never came during our time there.  What did happen were a lot of laughs...especially when I snagged my line on a branch, pulled it hard only to have the line come flying up and wrap itself around me.  Logan looked at me with a straight face and said, "Aunt Carla, this isn't nice, but that was really funny!" Then we both cracked up!  There were also periods of being quiet and patient as we waited for bites.  There were moments of  Logan being impatient and reeling in too quickly and losing his catch.  There was a moment that I got a bite and he encouraged me to reel in and I told him that I would wait until it really bit...which it did and I caught a big mouth bass.

My "God moment" in all of this?  As I was sitting there waiting for a bite, it dawned on me that I am often too impatient to wait for the bite in ministry.  I will cast my line out and often reel it in without giving the person a moment to really take a bite and get ahold of the hook (the Word).  I want the other person to accept Christ on the first cast or I want those I disciple or influence to get understanding on the first hearing of a lesson or counsel.  Too often I am worried about the end product instead of just being in the moment!  More often than not, it's not on the first cast that I get a bite.  It's a process of casting, waiting, letting them nibble (or watching them swim away), watching them move around it, then take another nibble, until finally they decide to take a bite.  What my prayer became at that point is that I will have the patience and mercy to allow them to process it, to figure out what the question is for their life,  all the while keeping the focus of my responsibility to be ready with the Word.  What a wonderfully, wild balancing act that is....

Thank You, Lord, for three incredible beings that are a part of my life!  Thank You for giving me a deep desire for them to know You.  Thank you for all the times You have shown me mercy when I haven't 'gotten it'!  I love you, Jesus!

He loves me

Have you ever just wondered if the Lord is really paying attention to your situation?  I had one of those moments this weekend.  I was praying and it felt like my prayers were bouncing off the skylight in my bedroom and scattering themselves across the comforter on my bed.  Not feeling a bit like I was truly reaching the ear of my Heavenly Father.  The same prayers being tossed up with hopes that something would change with my attitude.  I was really, really tired of feeling the same defeat.  I wanted to know He cared about what I care about.  I wanted to know that my Savior knew that I felt weak and that He was the strength I needed.  Then I did something totally selfish.  I simply said, "Please show me that you love me today."  Yep, an appeal on behalf of my feelings.  I wanted to feel loved.  Oh, I know He loves me.  But Saturday morning I wanted to feel it. As is unusual for me, I didn't even put parameters on what would make me feel loved.  He's my God, my Father, the One who knows me better than I know myself.  He knows what deep down makes me feel loved.  So, after my request, I got myself up and prepared to start my busy day.

Now, God doesn't do His work on my time frames.  He knows His girl is one who is truly into instant gratification, so He almost always makes me wait.  But Saturday morning, He changed it up.  He immediately delivered a message from one of my girls.  It started, "Hey there! Thought I should let you know that I am playing you today."  Now, when I read that first line it kind of scared me because I had no context and my mind raced to all of the nuances that statement held! :)  Then, she proceeded to go on and explain how she was spending time with a young girl who needed an godly influence in her life...just like I had done in her life some 9 years ago.  She went on to explain how she hoped the day would go and that her prayer was that she would be as godly an influence to this girl's life as I had been in hers.  I sat there completely stunned, sobbing.  My roomie kept asking what was wrong and I couldn't talk... I just sobbed.  Never, ever in my life have I felt as loved by my Holy Father as I did in that minute!  You see, this wasn't about some great, heroic thing I'd done...trust me, I have messed up SOOOOO many times in this situation as well as others.  It was my Savior telling me that I matter to Him and He chooses me to be a part of His work.  I don't think my feet hit the floor the rest of the day!

And as is God's way...He went further.  Our church service was one of the best I've ever been to...nothing spectacular by any means. But OH the worship!! It was decidedly different for me yesterday.  It was coming from a confident, love sodden heart and I knew the Lord was pleased!  It was like He was saying, "Are you finally grasping just what you mean to me??!!"  Then as if to drive the point home, another life that I have been allowed to be a part of was there to say goodbye to us.  He is following the Lord to the mission field to translate the Bible into the heart language of the peoples of Paupa New Guinea.  Again, I found myself weeping tears of joy.  So proud of the man he has become. Remembering the young college student sitting at my dining room table talking about life, sharing struggles, connecting because of our Savior. Now he is a man taking his wife and yet to be born child to serve our God. Wow.



It's no coincidence that this was one of the songs we sang yesterday... God just really wanted me to know the He loves me!

The Summer of My Unsettling

Yet again, the Lord is unsettling me, which is becoming a bit commonplace this summer!  This time, He is using the topic of words to move me.  It all started about a week and half ago when we held a house meeting to discuss various topics and our conversation towards each other became the focus of discussion.  I was becoming convicted about the lack of respect we were showing each other.  It is just natural for me to 'jest' with others, but when I am feeling a bit hurt, my words become a weapon (again, will I EVER see complete victory???!!).  This discussion with the girls really sunk deep into my heart because I found myself becoming very sensitive to what those around me were saying.  Instead of building up, there were words of destruction.  Instead of encouragement, there were words that left others broken.  Then the Chick-fil-a issue came rolling across my facebook page.  To be honest, I read it, thought "Go Mike Huckabee, way to stand up for what you believe" and then left it at that. 

The Lord had other ideas...I have been struggling with fence riding a bit in my life.  Trying to stay politically neutral, not wanting to draw attention to myself or my beliefs, just wanting to live comfortably...complacent.  Then last Thursday morning as I got ready for work, I heard the background and actual interview given by Mr. Cathey.  What he said blew me away...bold, loving, God honoring.  I also heard the words of the opposition.  It was then that the Holy Spirit quietly spoke to me asking, "What are YOU going to do about this?  Where are you going to plant your flag, Carla?"  Whoa.  Didn't want to hear that.  As He planned it, after hearing the interview, I almost immediately read Huckabee's eloquently written status on the issue and I re posted it to my page.  I knew there would be those who disagreed.  I knew they'd post.  They did.  God was then asking again, "Where do you stand?".  I responded...on the Word of God.  You see, there are times that I do believe the Lord calls us speak up and I felt this was one of them.  I also believe that the Lord calls us to stand with our brothers and sisters in Christ when they are being bold.  I also believe as an American, our freedom of speech is so closely tied to our freedom to practice our Christitanity that if we don't defend it, we may lose it all.  Most importantly, there will come a day when I will have to answer to the Lord for my words and actions. I prayed every time I posted a response because more important to me than any political issue is that fact that Jesus Christ loves people, He came to die for all of us, and I wanted my responses to be LOVINGLY bold.  And many times in the past, my words have not been loving at all...they've left a lot of shrapnel and have not pointed others to Christ in the least.  Then, today, I went to Chick-fil-a for lunch.  What an incredible experience that was...to see so many people standing up for a man's right to voice his opinion! The great thing was no words had to be spoken...it was a fun time with a lot of sweet people.  I really do love being an American!

God wasn't done teaching me about bold words this week.  As I headed to the restaurant today, I received a call from a friend wanting some counsel.  Yep, you guessed it.  I had the choice to say the biblical truth, which is the antithesis of what the world says, or I could skirt around the issue and wish her well.  Again, that sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit says, "Where do you stand, Carla?"  So she got the hard to do, but God will get a ton of glory if you follow His Word counsel.  I know that was not what she really wanted to hear.  I knew that when the issues of our lives collide with the Word of God, we have a choice to make and we often choose the easy, known way.  I prayed for her to choose well.  Tonight I got a call that blessed me beyond belief when she said she took my counsel...which wasn't mine at all but His Words!

There was a verse in my reading this morning that summed it all up for me:  Proverbs 12:18

 There is that speaketh rashly like the piercings of a sword; But the tongue of the wise is health.

Heavenly Father, I ask that you make me wise in my thoughts, my actions and my words.  Let me be one who edifies, encourages, love and speaks your Word with authority and boldness.  Please remind me that my rash words can damage as deeply as a sword.  Thank you for loving me so much!