Again....

After the last guest departed from the Easter celebration in my home yesterday, I plopped down on the couch to relax and decided to watch the movie, "Miracle".  For those not familiar with the Disney flick, it is the story of the 1980 US Olympic hockey team and their coach, Herb Brooks.  I have watched this movie on numerous occasions for a couple of reasons... I love to relive the excitement of that moment because I actually watched the whole drama play out on TV with my family in February of 1980 and because I walk away feeling empowered to overcome.  But this time, something else caught my attention...the leadership plan of Herb Brooks.

In the beginning, Brooks randomly asks the guys for their name, town and for whom they play.  All of the guys shout out their school names and wear their school jerseys with pride. There is a scene in the movie called 'The Herbie', where Coach Brooks is fired up because of the way his team played in an exhibition game.  It was every man for himself, with some paying more attention to the women in the crowd, as well playing as individuals rather than as one team.  After the game, he requires his players to remain on the ice and to repetitively perform a suicide type drill, making his assistant constantly blow the whistle as he yells 'again'.  Everyone is thinking the guy has lost his last portion of good sense because the drill literally beats the guys down. That is until the team captain finally clues in, yelling his name, town and that he plays for the United States of America.  Herb had made his point... the collective one is greater than the individual parts.

This got me to thinking about leadership in serving.  God has been doing a work in my life of late where I feel very much like the players on that 1980 team.  The Lord keeps blowing the whistle, repeating 'again' and making me go through the same routines over and over and over again.  I am seeing that He is trying to remove those layers of self to make me useful for His eternal purposes. One of the biggest ways I see this is in the area of 'ownership'. I believe that the Lord has allowed me to be in positions of leadership and desires for me to take responsibility of what He has entrusted to me.  The problem comes when I begin to think that I own it (a ministry, a position, a relationship, etc.) and I grasp it so tightly that my spiritual knuckles are white.  Often very subtly, the motive becomes less and less about bringing Him glory and more and more about me and my ego. One such place I see this is in my job.  The change from the NH to the HD has been about as different as night is from day. By the very nature of the two beasts , I have went from a problem finder/fixer role to one of consultant/overseer/ bridge builder.  I was so very comfortable in the previous role that the move to this role has been a challenge for me.  But I see His finger prints all over it. He is blowing that whistle, telling me to do it again and again because there is something in my future that will require the skills of consensus builder that He is developing in me.  I see the same fingerprints on the ministry opportunities...He removed me from one that was 'mine' and putting me in various positions that require me to either instruct or carry out the directions of another who leads. He is blowing the whistle, saying 'again', and allowing me to repeatedly re-learn how to 'teach' someone rather than just 'telling' them because there is an important task for His kingdom that I will be chosen to perform and I will be required to teach to reach rather than tell.  Oh, and those relationships? You can take it to the bank that He has been prying (sometimes gently, sometimes not) my iron grasp off of those individuals, asking me to lay them at the foot of His cross, and trust Him for the outcome because those people are not mine to control. Tough stuff for sure, but I am so thankful that He loves me enough to blow the whistle and say "Again, Carla".

Bossy Bessie and the peril of the pink lemonade....

Conviction.  Truly not one of my favorite words, nor one of my favorite feelings.  I used to loathe the prick of conviction.  My pride would rise up in me taking the sting from the Holy Spirit's revelation and wrapping it up tighter than a garden spider spinning it's prey into it's compactly wound web. Yet, I sense His work in my life because conviction came rolling in yesterday after a situation, and I actually stopped the fray long enough to listen to His whisper and this is what He said, "Carla, you are bossy!".

 Say what???? You bossy??

You're fired!!!

After thinking about some of the things I noticed from watching the Apprentice last week, there is one thing that rather annoyed me.  The whole climax of that show is watching someone get the ax when Trump scowls and snarls "You're fired!" to whomever he deems as having failed at the project de jour.  The losing teams witnesses it up close and personal, while the winning team watches from their safe room.

I think any good leader would admit that those two words can be the hardest to hear and to say.  As an executive for many years, I have been on both the giving and receiving end of that power packed statement.  Now mind you, I have never said them or heard them said with the vim and vigor that Trump does, but they still sting in their many varieties.... you are fired, you are terminated, you are no longer right for this position, we've eliminated your position, your job is unfunded this year...ouch.

On the giving side of this equation, I can tell you that I almost developed ulcers when I first had to terminate an employee! I was not one who was comfortable with confrontation, so that made it doubly difficult.  As I learned over the years...it never got easy.  I thank God for that fact.  I figured if it ever got easy, something was drastically wrong.  Don't misunderstand...there are times that terminating someone is certainly needed.  As an Administrator in a long term care facility, I will tell you that when I had concrete evidence that a resident was being abused, I was more than happy to remove those type of people from my building and to report them to the Department of Professional Regs.  If you don't have the patience to work with the elderly, DO NOT work in a nursing home...just sayin'.  Fortunately, those times were very few and far between!!  But there were those times that a termination was warranted due to repetitive failure to comply with policies that left me wondering what more I could have done to help them be successful.  One of my greatest strengths was also a great weakness in this area... I can tend to hold onto a relationship, even a bad one, longer than prudent.  Hopefully, that allowed me to be more than fair... I am sure not everyone saw it that way!

On the receiving side, those words can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if your self worth is tied into what you do for a living.  That was the case for me.  My biggest fear up to that point was being fired.  I exchanged the ideology of excellence for perfection, which started the downward spiral of trying to control every aspect and every person. While I believe that there was nothing I could have done differently at the time to make the situation better, I did learn a lot from that experience such as:

• There is wisdom in waiting on God.  I was entirely too young to manage a multi million dollar business and manage 70+ people.  When God's word says not to choose a person to lead who is a relative new believer, there is much wisdom in that truth - especially in the business world! There is something to be said for life experiences, people skills, basic maturity, etc. Just because I had been very successful in marketing and social services DID NOT translate to being ready to run the entire show.  I did what I wanted in spite of God's admonishment to wait.  And I suffered the consequences...
• There are some hills worth dying on. The company I worked for at the time was not resident focused, but bottom line focused.  I am a business woman and I believe in being a good steward of the funds for which I am responsible.  However, when the choice is between keeping the residents safe and healthy, or lining the pockets of the owners...well, residents will always come first.  No apologies for that.  I knew when I staked the flag on that hill that I was writing my own eulogy.  Guess what?  I went on to work for another company, and then had the privilege of managing the best home in Western Illinois for almost 12 years.  Them? Company went bankrupt. 
• I now know what I will and will not accept for me.  For some weird reason, I think somewhere down deep I thought I deserved to suffer because of manipulating the circumstances in getting the job.  Maybe I did, or maybe those were just the natural consequences of not waiting on God, I don't know. However, I looked back on those two and half years, the battles with the company to do the right thing, the promises unfulfilled, the stress and lack of sleep I endured that almost robbed me of my health, and I promised myself that I would NEVER allow that again...whether it be a job, a ministry, a relationship.  I see many young women making that same mistake of settling instead of setting standards, and it honestly breaks my heart.
• God is first. This wasn't the truth in my life during this period.  My career was my god, and what a miserable deity it was! It took God allowing the very thing I was so fearful of happening to come to fruition to make me see that truth.  Honestly, it took a few years after to finally get that kind of straight, but the Lord is patient because He saw growth and knew I'd finally get it! If these words strike a chord in you, may I offer some counsel?  Get this right as soon as possible and don't be the fool I was for too long in this area! There is no job, no ministry, no relationship, NOTHING that can be as fulfilling as a rightly aligned relationship with the Lord.

I will say that the 8 months I was 'unemployed' were some of the most joy filled I have ever experienced!  I got to substitute teach, I got to work on my newly purchased home, I got to experience the summer Olympics without worrying about what was going on at work, and the Lord got to show me just how much He does care about me by walking me through my 'fear' and exposing it for the lie it was!

Lessons from Celebrity Apprentice....

I'm not much of a consistent TV watcher, but over the past several weeks I have been following the show 'Celebrity Apprentice'.  No, I am not a fan of reality shows, nor of The Donald, but I do find this show lends itself to the study of human nature, leadership, submission, wisdom, and arrogance, even if it is edited to a degree. 

The premise of the show intrigues me as it brings several celebrities to the board room to participate in various projects assigned by Donald Trump.  The celebs are divided into gender groups, with each group assigning a project manager to lead the group. The project is reviewed by various individuals, with one team being declared a winner and all of their members safe from possible termination. The PM for the winning team gets big money for their charity, while the losing team faces an evaluation by Trump that culminates in his famous scowl and harshly spewed "You're fired" to one unfortunate player.

This week's episode really brought some seemingly basic business principles to the forefront, that are really biblical in origin.  I guess because leadership has been something I've been reviewing in dship and we've been learning about off and on during our Sunday morning study of I Timothy, I am especially aware of it.  So, in random order...leadership principle lessons from Celebrity Apprentice.....

1.  Managers are not always leaders...  There have been a myriad of project managers, but really very few true leaders.  Case in point, when Gary Busey had the position of PM this past week, he could not lead his group if his life had depended upon it...and thank goodness it didn't.  He did not have a 'big' picture mentality, nor did he have any idea of what the final goal was, thus no one was following because they didn't have anything to follow.  Or Star Jones...now that woman is just plain bossy and slick, often taking the easy tasks, while trying to dictate to others what they should do whether it's her business to be doing so...but rarely does she elicit good from those around her, and if she does, it's always to her advantage to do so. 

2. But leaders always influence whether titled or not.... For the most part, the celebs that participate on this show have excelled in their chosen profession.  An exception would be LaToya Jackson (does she have a purpose other than being related to the Jackson family?), but I digress. One might think that with that much ego in a room, that there would be a lot of leading and little following going on.  Interestingly, even though they aren't always PMs, John Rich and Marlee Maitlin always bring it to the table.  They tend to heavily influence by virtue of their example, their servant hood, their ability to submit to those in authority over them and their ability to draw out the best in their peers - true leadership. And when they are project managers...WOW!  Even when Rich's patience was tested beyond normal as a team member under Busey's management, he never lost sight of the big picture...he was there to win money for needy causes, whether his own or another team members!  Sounds like several people I know who want to please God, regardless of their title or station in life....

3.  There are no guarantees that with age comes wisdom.... that was evident a couple of weeks ago when Dionne Warwick, the matriarch diva, decided that her 'age' afforded her the privilege of not having to work late hours with the team, then she expected the team to cover for her...bad, bad choice.  Sometimes we see that in churches...just because someone is older, or has been there a long time is no reason to automatically assign them leadership positions.

4.  Wisdom sometimes comes in young packages...  this past week, one of the youngest women players was PM.  Interestingly, she did not volunteer to be a PM until late in the game. Under her leading, her team won and when asked by Trump how she did it, she said she'd had the privilege of watching the other 'older' players lead and gleaned from their experience, wisdom and training.  How very, very astute!  Kind of reminds me of Timothy....

5. The buck stops with the one in charge...  most of the time, Trump will hold the PM's feet to the fire and you can tell he is a firm believer in the adage that with authority comes responsibility.  Unless there is truly a bonehead move by a non PM, The Donald usually cuts the manager loose. That would be the most viable explanation for crazy Gary Busey or parasite LaToya Jackson getting as far along in the game as they have...well either that or ratings...Trump is not a stupid man! If you want to lead a family, a business, a ministry, a church or a disciple, you must be willing to take the heat for the decisions you make!

6. The hardest words for a leader to say or hear....more on that tomorrow....

The Bite of Sin

I am angry.  I wish I could say it's a total righteous anger.  I am just completely fed up with excuses and am losing my compassion. What's got me fired up?  It's the 'dumbing down' of the reality of sin in this world and the total indignation that there would be consequences because of it.

Excuse after excuse is being made for doing wrong. I get that...that's been going on for a long time in this world.  What is making me angry is the absolute indignation some believers have when their poor choices come back to bite.  Really??? Should I REALLY be surprised when I knowingly break the law and I get a ticket, or arrested, or punished? Should I REALLY be surprised when I develop various diseases because of my poor eating/exercise habits?  Should I REALLY be surprised that I lost a relationship because I cheated on him? Should I REALLY be surprised that I lost her trust because I lied or spread gossip about her? Should I REALLY be surprised that my consequences have a ripple affect and are hurting those around me? Really?

While I was getting my feathers ruffled at the excuse makers, the Lord, in His perfect way, allowed me to see the devastating effects of the consequences. Because He is working in my life, He breaks my heart when I realize just how alone, afraid, broken and hurting those people really are...and that He is using those consequences to draw them out of the sin, into repentance, and into reconciled relationship with Him.  Their indignation is merely a prideful front for the underlying brokenness that they are yet unwilling to admit.  No, the Lord does NOT take sin lightly. All it takes is reading His Book to understand that fact. That being said, only a perfect, sinless, Holy God could feel the compassion for those who shake their fists up at Him in defiance, stubbornly trying to do it their own way, and offer complete, soul healing forgiveness. And immediately, I am humbled to the depths of my soul and my heart screams out prayers of intercession for them to see that love and healing that is just an act of repentance away. Only my perfect Jesus could change my angry heart into one of mourning.

Cookie Cutter Christians

1)to be a disciple of one
     a) to follow his precepts and instructions
2) to make a disciple
     a) to teach, instruct

One of the things I love about my church is its commitment to creating disciples. Simply put, it is one believer investing in the life of another to teach them what God's word says and how to develop a personal walk with Jesus. It's what Jesus did with the 12 men he invested in while he walked this earth.

A couple of weeks ago, the young woman I invest in got her hair cut in a style that was similar to mine a few years back. We both walked into church together and two of the guys stopped, looked at us and said,"The two Carlas!" We laughed, but it got me to thinking on a deeper level about how I am discipling Andrea.

My whole desire is NOT to reproduce Carla, but rather to grow Jesus in Andrea. While I pray that some of the good traits that Jesus has developed in me will become part of Andrea's character, I am aware that they will play themselves out in the uniqueness in which He created her. All one has to do is study the years of Jesus' ministry to see that each of the men he surrounded Himself with were varying personalities. The four who wrote the gospels were uniquely used of God to tell His story from their perspective. Peter was a larger than life presence, always with a word to say. Thomas asked the question, refusing to allow his doubts to go unanswered regardless of how he may have appeared to the others. Jesus had a way of relating to each one on an individual level, reproducing Himself while allowing them to be themselves. All different, but in Acts they became known collectively as 'Christians', or little Christs.

Nothing is sadder to me than to see cookie cutter 'programs' trying to produce something the Lord NEVER intended a person to be. One cannot learn to be like Christ through "programming", but rather through walking through life together. I am thankful that we are charged to be biblical in our approach to dship. My prayer has consistently been that I am always teaching Andrea the truths of Scripture then encouraging her to live it out as He desires for her. That woman will reach people for Christ that would never give me one moment of attention and I want to do all I can to see that she gets all she needs to accomplish His will for her life.

A WOO HOO kind of week!

So neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. I Corinthians 3:7


The past 8 days have been something of a marathon. It started last Saturday when the Lord allowed me the opportunity to speak to a group of women at a retreat, then progressed throughout the week of sharing faith or growth moments with others in a variety of venues, and culminated in getting to personally witness a woman take a step of faith and trust Christ as her personal Savior. I can honestly say that not many weeks are like this one, and as I sit here on Sunday night I wonder why? Why shouldn't every week feel like this one? My conclusion: perspective.

I have been reading the wonderful book by Anne Graham Lotz entitled The Magnificent Obsession. This is a recounting of the life of Abraham and there are so many morsels that I have had to put it down, digest them for a few days, and then pick it back up and work through the next bits. A couple of weeks ago, I read a paragraph that really refocused my perspective. In this particular part of the story, Abraham had charged his servant with the ultimate task: finding a wife for Issac so that Abraham could pass everything on to his beloved son. The question from the servant was what would happen should the woman refuse to accept his offer, and Abraham told him that he would be released from the oath. Lotz tells a truth that I had long known, but had allowed myself to forget. She states,"Likewise, God has never commanded you and me to be successful in actually leading someone to faith in Christ. He only commands us to be faithful to represent Him to the best of our ability."

That truth spelled out in the verse for today allows me to keep my wits about me when I am preparing a message, sharing a growth lesson with another, or personally sharing Jesus with someone who doesn't know Him. God has a responsibility for me and one that is His alone. My words may plant a seed, or they may water a seed already planted, or I may get to be present when that new life bursts forth, but that new life is always, always, always between Him and that individual. That fact alone takes a tremendous amount of pressure off of my desire to control every aspect. Sometimes my words may be the first someone has heard of Jesus, sometimes they may be the 100th, yet no visible fruit. Sometimes my prayers may be helping the foundation of understanding strengthen, sometimes they may be that breakthrough that paves the way to usher the new life in. But never is it all about me. I think that perspective is going to increase my realization that every day can be a Woo Hoo kind of day!

Father, thank you for not needing me, but wanting me involved in your work.

Smile

I woke up smiling. As the crisp new morning was just beginning to dawn, I found my heart happy as I lay all bundled under the quilts. Here are some of the reasons why:



Pleasure

The women in this picture represent some of the most entertaining, hilarious, yet godly women I've ever met. Last night we were in attendance at a shower for another friend (who isn't in the pic because she was serving the Lord in Belize at the time!), and it just seems that wherever we congregate, the laughter ensues. Funny thing, right in the middle of laughing, the conversation can turn on a dime and we are passionately sharing what the Lord is doing in our midst, and then go back to laughing! We laugh at the most mundane things, we laugh at each other, we just simply love to laugh. I seriously do not know what I would do without them.

Purpose




The three young women in this photo bless me beyond all measure. The Lord has brought them into my life for this season of needing to nurture and grow another person in the Lord. Yes, the Lord has blessed me in the past with others to influence and I am so thankful for them, yet these three have a piece of my heart to varying degrees. Just when I was beating myself up for feeling like I have totally failed them, God chooses to move in their lives, they allow Him to do so and the result is nothing less than pure glory! Last night I got to be on the receiving end of a huge blessing when I listened to one cross over from being a teen to being a woman, making a decision to truly and without reservation, follow the Lord with her life. Years of prayer, times of protection, words of caution, periods of keeping my mouth shut,and loving her deeply regardless of circumstances, were all worth that one spectacular moment in time. You see, I own a piece of that result! Oh, I still fail at this whole thing to varying degrees, but He does have a purpose for me and I love it.

Passion





Ultimately, I smile because Jesus is my passion. I want others to know Him. I want them to meet the Savior, the Comforter, the Forgiver, the Healer, the Best Friend they will ever know! I want them to be in eternity with us. Because I am here, today is a day I get to share Him with another person and I can think of no other reason to smile.

Proverbs 15:13 - A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance...

The Flowers of Friendship

YES! YES! YES! Spring is finally starting to eek her way out of the winter slumber and grace us with her periodic warm breezes and sunny days. Today I was able to come home and head straight for the flower bed that adorns the front of my house. I found it an utter mess, but was determined to clear it of it's clutter so that the tender green shoots could breathe the fresh air. As I was working the earth, I started to think about the various kinds of flowers that would array that garden throughout the summer, and my mind wandered into thinking how those flowers remind me of my friendships.

The first plant to be uncovered was my beloved poppy clump. Now, I love the fiery, orange blooms that burst on the scene in late spring. They are airy, carefree, and short-lived. While I enjoy these flowers, they are the most high maintenance plant in the bed! I have to be very gentle when clearing the area around them, being very, very careful not to damage their shallow roots. Due to their many needs and my short attention span, there is only one plant in the entire bed. Same with "poppy friendships". They often can be beautiful for a short time, but lose their luster and my interest quickly. I am way too hard on them and often find myself tromping on the shallow roots.

The next flowers I unearth are what I call the 'butterfly bunch' - purple cone flowers, Shasta daisies and black eyed susans. This grouping of flowers are a hearty bunch. They have strong stalks, rough leaves, and plain flowers. They look great for about two days, then start to look a bit ragged. However, on closer inspection, these lovely girls are probably the most purposeful in the garden. They are the feeders. All summer long, they languish so that the delicate butterflies and buzzy bees that swarm my yard can get nourishment, then when the crisp fall and winter winds blow in, the birds can find the sustenance they need from the seed heads that sit atop those sturdy stalks. These remind me of the lion's share of my friendships. They are strong,nothing really showy about them, but they provide me with a sustenance that I require. They bring a purpose to my life, whether great or small...but a purpose that I cannot live without.

Finally, are my absolute favorites: lilies. I am a HUGE fan of the low maintenance beauties, whether it be hosta, day, Asiatic, oriental, or tiger varieties, you will find these in abundance in my yard. They bloom where they are planted, and reproduce themselves with great gusto. They have the most gorgeous flowers and you will find them stretching up to the sun in worship. They require little maintenance and survive the most extremes of circumstances, including rough handling by the gardener. These are my inner circle. They are the women (and men!) who love Jesus with everything in them and every aspect of their lives show it. Regardless of what life throws them, they anchor down deep roots in Him and His word and the result is the most fragrant, gorgeous life you've ever witnessed! These are the friends that I can make mistakes with and they still shower me with kindness. I can be a bit rough, and their roots are so deep in Christ that they are forgiving. And they lift their lives up to the Son in worship in a way that causes me to do the same. Spectacular!

My prayer is that I am very rarely a poppy, more often a nourisher, and most definitely a lily in the flowerbeds of friendship! Hugs ~

What does Jesus look like?

This past weekend I got to fulfill a long time dream and teach the word of God to a group of women who were seeking to live life like Christ. The Lord was beyond gracious with me and gave me some great points of truth to share. The women were a mixed bag of ages, spiritual levels, and I am certain some were saved and some may not have been.

At the end of one of my sessions, I was approached by a woman who knew me from my previous place of employ. She told me that she didn't know I "had this in me" and I told her that while I do try to live my faith out loud, I am sure there are times that I don't always do it well. Now, while I don't take every comment from acquaintences to heart, I do try to listen for anything that the Lord might be telling me. I didn't take her comment as a critical need to change,however, it did get me to thinking about how people view Jesus, both as their Lord and through the lives of others...let me explain.

There have been many times over my walk with the Lord that I have viewed Jesus in a variety of ways. When I was first saved, I was so excited about everything to do with Him and my love for Him was all consuming. He was the be all for my life and I couldn't ever imagine not seeing Him as the perfect answer to everything. As the hot flame of the first love of knowing Jesus cooled and the truth of his Word was butting heads with my carnality, I began to see Jesus as a fun hater, wanting to keep me from really enjoying life as I wanted.

Then there was the period that I believe a lot of believers get to and stay stuck, sometimes until they go home with the Lord. Either one of two views prevail. The first is seeing Jesus as our genie on the shelf. We want to live our lives as we see fit, only bothering to pull Jesus off the shelf when life's circumstances overwhelm us and we finally realize our need for Him. Often we want just enough of Jesus to get us through the trouble we are currently experiencing, only to place him back up on the shelf when we are in easier times. The second is what I call the "fire proof" life...we want just enough Jesus to secure our eternity. Either position refuses to allow the Lord to infuse every aspect of our lives because deep down we want the control. My, did I live life there way too long.

The last view of Jesus is the correct view and one I hope to continue to grow in. That's the biblical view. When I study the life of Christ, I find Someone very different than what the world believes He looks like. I do not find a man who would just overlook the sins of others, but would confront those with their sin with the desire to reconcile them to the Father. I find a Man of immense compassion on a woman who was caught in sin by the hypocrits of the day, showing her grace in her repentance. I find a Man whose righteous anger cleared the moneychangers out of the house of God. I find a Man who expected those He'd invested in to live changed lives, yet love them throught the growth period. You see, I see Jesus as a Man who had the right response to the hearts of those around Him. While the world may expect me to be one of those views that they hold of Jesus, I want to pursue the biblical view. So, how do you see Him?