Victory - Day 758

Today it happened...I got to witness a victory in my life:  Seeing my value as who God is in my life and how He made me, not in what I do!!  Let me see if I can explain this succinctly ~

For as long as I can remember, I have always judged myself by what I do, whether it be for a career, for ministry, or for others.  Now I suspect that I am not alone in this pattern of thinking, but for me it was obsessive.  Being a consummate people pleaser, virtually every action/decision I've ever made has had the following tags attached to it: "What will people think? and/or "How will I look in doing this".  That isn't always a bad thing to consider others when making choices that would affect them, but the degree to which I did this was a bit psychotic.  I wish I could say that I always thought, "What would God think of this..." but no, people have pretty much been the recipient of my concern. How I hate this about me!

Recently, I was asked to lead a situation that had all the makings of the perfect "Carla can be the savior of the day" moments. The circumstances were lined up just so perfect to really be wonderful for me...able to temporarily 'fix' (one of my personal favorite past times) a problem, could feel like I am a bit of a hero, I was qualified for the issue at hand with previous experience, plus I could see potential financial gain.  Yeah, you are probably seeing that God isn't anywhere in this by now, 'eh?  However, I did something that I would have never done in the past when such a circumstance would have surfaced...I sought counsel.  Normally, I'd have jumped on it without thinking twice! I prayed about it and asked 3 people for counsel.  These three know me well and know the Lord.  They would bring insight into the situation, being able to drill down to the issues that needed addressing.  To the person, they all cautioned me against doing it. What???? Seriously??? I couldn't ask for a more perfect "Carla" opportunity!!  Here's the rub...it wasn't a perfect God opportunity.  For reasons I don't know, the Lord simply doesn't want me doing this.  Yep, the battle has been fierce as the enemy of my soul has pulled out all the tricks to lure me into taking it...especially the appeal to my pride.  But here's the victory...saying no to this seemingly good, albeit tough, opportunity hasn't left me wanting. I am no less because I said no...in fact, I am more.  I am more pleasing to my Savior because I choose Him and His plan.  That is more than enough for me!

This reminds me of a recent post that I read by Governor Mike Huckabee when He chose not to run for President.  All of the worldly signs pointed to 'Yes'.  Even his family was on board!  Yet, this steadfast believer in Jesus Christ sought the face of his Savior and He said 'no'.  So, Gov. H declined the opportunity. People were disappointed...mightily so, with harsh words.  I remember thinking then, and posting to his blog, that I so admired his conviction and faith, and hoped that if I were ever faced with a choice that looks perfect in the world's eyes, but is a no in God's, that I will choose the right thing.  Today is that day.

Heavenly Father, thank you for loving me.  Thank you for being so intimately entwined in my life and caring about every single aspect.  Thank you for the godly, wise people I can call on for counsel. Thank you...seems so inadequate, but is said with all I am.

II Corinthians 3:5 ~ Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;

Lessons from the Berry Patch

I'm excited about this raspberry adventure I am currently experiencing. As I was out picking the daily batch of ripened beauties, I started collecting the lessons of life that can be gleaned from this patch of delectable fruit.  So here they are in no particular order:

1.  Beauty often comes from the poo of life:
            Maybe I should have forewarned you that I was going to use the word "poo", but hey, let's be glad I didn't use other words that are far more descriptive and offensive to get my point across!  This berry patch literally began because a few of my feathered friends ate berries, perched on the edge of my roof, did their business, and there you go! (No pun intended)  What started as a nasty thing, ended up being a thing of beauty and enjoyment.  It's like that in my life as well...sometimes nasty, ugly, disgusting events will roll down on my life without warning.  But the Lord will take that seemingly bad issue and grow it into something that is nothing like the original.  He is just so cool that way!

2.  Perspective:
            Every time I go out to pick, I start at one end and work through all of the canes trying to ensure I get every berry.  Once I get to the end, I work my way back down the patch, catching several purple ripe orbs that were hiding from my view on the first sweep.  Often a cluster of green leaves are blocking the object of my desire. Sometimes other unripe clusters are hiding the one ripe one. Sometimes I have to step back and look at the big picture and will often see one that I missed.  So is it in life.  There are times I will think I have the whole story, only to turn around and look at it again and discover some important detail that I missed.  Or there are other times that I need to step back, look at how an event will play out in the big picture, and I will capture a detail that needs dealt with to bring it to fruition.

3.  Timing is everything:
             Anyone who knows me would probably say that I can be an impatient person.  When I first discovered the berry gold mine and they started to ripen, I'd find myself a bit greedy and would pull off a not completely 'done' one.  Boy, are they SOUR!!!  I also found that they would bring the stem with a gazillion and one tiny thorns off with it.  All because I had not waited for the process that needed to take place to finish.  Wow, sounds like a lot of times in my life when I jumped before the Lord wanted me to, when He'd cautioned me through his Word and the counsel of others, but I didn't wait...man, do those thorns hurt when trying to remove them...and the thing I didn't wait for most certainly left a bitter taste.  It also reminds me of those of us who are leaders in ministry or work, or raising a family...how often to we expect those we lead to be in a place that they just simply haven't 'ripened' to yet?  We get too busy trying to play Holy Spirit that we impede the process.  Sometimes, we just need to S-L-O-W down a bit and quit trying to lead the Lord...and if you feel a finger pointing at you, please know that I am preaching to myself on this one!

4.  Thorns are a price we have to pay for the good stuff:
             I am getting a bit adept at negotiating the random thorns on the canes, but as I said before, the tiny sharp barbs that surround the berries can be plentiful and painful! As the cane grows, the thorns become fewer and far between because the cane is dying as it sends the needed nutrients to the fruit which is surrounded by them.  My, how that certainly mirrors life!  You see, it is often with the best fruits that the most pain comes.  For me, that's always relationships.  Those that live the closest to my heart can inflict the sharpest pain to my soul.  Now, I can choose to wall them off, not send nutrients to them and the thorns will lessen.  But, there are no good fruits to delight in.  The Lord has worked me over on this one repeatedly.  Simply put, I have to risk the barbs to have the amazing fruit of love and relationship.  While I've learned to be more discerning over the years, I still fall back on bad patterns at times and sadly, some of you have been victim to that.  But, Jesus is so faithful and cares too much about me to  let me live there!  It is most certainly worth the risk!!

5.  Watch where you walk:
          If you've read any of my fb posts, you know that I have snakes that like to live in my yard.  They have particularly liked hanging around the shade on the south side of the house where the patch is located.  As I was picking one day, I looked down in time to see one of the slithering creatures before I stepped on it! UGH.  Now I peruse the area before stepping in, both in the berry patch and in activities of life.

6.  The Lord provides:


I love this adventure, as random and silly as it may seem.  Every time I am in the patch, I thank the Lord for the raspberries and His preeminence in my life.

Day 776!