Bossy Bessie and the peril of the pink lemonade....

Conviction.  Truly not one of my favorite words, nor one of my favorite feelings.  I used to loathe the prick of conviction.  My pride would rise up in me taking the sting from the Holy Spirit's revelation and wrapping it up tighter than a garden spider spinning it's prey into it's compactly wound web. Yet, I sense His work in my life because conviction came rolling in yesterday after a situation, and I actually stopped the fray long enough to listen to His whisper and this is what He said, "Carla, you are bossy!".

 Say what???? You bossy??

Whoa.  Now, go ahead and pick yourself up off the floor from laughing, and stop with the "Ya think?!" or "Seriously, you are just NOW getting that??!!".  I am self aware enough to have realized some time ago that I have control issues (nice pride filled phrase for saying "I want what I want"), and that I like things done a certain way (yup, pride's way of saying "My way is the BEST way"), and that I like to be a mover and a shaker in getting things done (pride's way of spinning "I am boss, so do what I say"). ugh.  Once again, it takes several, several lessons to finally get what He has been trying to tell me for years through circumstances, people, and His Word.  FYI, it seriously embarrasses me to even write this, but I want nasty pride OUT of my life, so exposing it is the only way that will happen....

Yesterday, I had an ongoing 'conversation' with a friend that culminated in me digging my heels in, saying some pretty petty stuff, and totally making an idiot of myself in the process.  I truly love the fact that the Lord used a completely UN important issue to drill home His point that I am bossy - pink lemonade. I actually got my feathers ruffled over pink lemonade?!?!?!??? Now, pride would say...no, no, no you were ticked because you had a plan and this person appeared to be usurping your authority and plan.... Nope, I was ticked because I didn't want to be questioned. Period.  When I finally reviewed all of the information, I realized not only am I bossy, but I had miserably  failed at teaching others.  You see, part of this lemonade debacle was supposed to be me training up a couple of younger women to serve others through an Easter dinner. Instead, it had become me directing (bossing) everyone and not communicating effectively or allowing for growth. Oy.  So now I find myself in need of apologizing, redirecting my focus, but thanking the Lord for His conviction and another lesson learned.

Job 5:17 - Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty: