Again....

After the last guest departed from the Easter celebration in my home yesterday, I plopped down on the couch to relax and decided to watch the movie, "Miracle".  For those not familiar with the Disney flick, it is the story of the 1980 US Olympic hockey team and their coach, Herb Brooks.  I have watched this movie on numerous occasions for a couple of reasons... I love to relive the excitement of that moment because I actually watched the whole drama play out on TV with my family in February of 1980 and because I walk away feeling empowered to overcome.  But this time, something else caught my attention...the leadership plan of Herb Brooks.

In the beginning, Brooks randomly asks the guys for their name, town and for whom they play.  All of the guys shout out their school names and wear their school jerseys with pride. There is a scene in the movie called 'The Herbie', where Coach Brooks is fired up because of the way his team played in an exhibition game.  It was every man for himself, with some paying more attention to the women in the crowd, as well playing as individuals rather than as one team.  After the game, he requires his players to remain on the ice and to repetitively perform a suicide type drill, making his assistant constantly blow the whistle as he yells 'again'.  Everyone is thinking the guy has lost his last portion of good sense because the drill literally beats the guys down. That is until the team captain finally clues in, yelling his name, town and that he plays for the United States of America.  Herb had made his point... the collective one is greater than the individual parts.

This got me to thinking about leadership in serving.  God has been doing a work in my life of late where I feel very much like the players on that 1980 team.  The Lord keeps blowing the whistle, repeating 'again' and making me go through the same routines over and over and over again.  I am seeing that He is trying to remove those layers of self to make me useful for His eternal purposes. One of the biggest ways I see this is in the area of 'ownership'. I believe that the Lord has allowed me to be in positions of leadership and desires for me to take responsibility of what He has entrusted to me.  The problem comes when I begin to think that I own it (a ministry, a position, a relationship, etc.) and I grasp it so tightly that my spiritual knuckles are white.  Often very subtly, the motive becomes less and less about bringing Him glory and more and more about me and my ego. One such place I see this is in my job.  The change from the NH to the HD has been about as different as night is from day. By the very nature of the two beasts , I have went from a problem finder/fixer role to one of consultant/overseer/ bridge builder.  I was so very comfortable in the previous role that the move to this role has been a challenge for me.  But I see His finger prints all over it. He is blowing that whistle, telling me to do it again and again because there is something in my future that will require the skills of consensus builder that He is developing in me.  I see the same fingerprints on the ministry opportunities...He removed me from one that was 'mine' and putting me in various positions that require me to either instruct or carry out the directions of another who leads. He is blowing the whistle, saying 'again', and allowing me to repeatedly re-learn how to 'teach' someone rather than just 'telling' them because there is an important task for His kingdom that I will be chosen to perform and I will be required to teach to reach rather than tell.  Oh, and those relationships? You can take it to the bank that He has been prying (sometimes gently, sometimes not) my iron grasp off of those individuals, asking me to lay them at the foot of His cross, and trust Him for the outcome because those people are not mine to control. Tough stuff for sure, but I am so thankful that He loves me enough to blow the whistle and say "Again, Carla".