Holiday Blues

I dread the holidays. Nothing new and many people do for a variety of reasons. I have been trying to get to the bottom of my "Bah Humbug" attitude, with very little success. Over the years I have cut back on my spending, thinking it was the financial stress of a commercialized season. Didn't work. Then I cut down on the number of events/activities thinking it was the physical fatigue of feeling like I had to be Martha Stewart with 10 decorated trees in my house, homemade cookies, and perfectly wrapped gifts for all. No dice. Still, my little Grinch mindset prevails. I even thought that it was because I don't have my own family. But that logically doesn't make sense to me because I'd feel that way all year long and I have plenty of people to celebrate the holidays with. No, there is just something about this time of year that sends me free falling into the pit of stinkin' thinkin'. My pastor talked about something in his message yesterday that has been rolling around in my thoughts and heart. He spoke of how Joseph marvelled at the things spoken of Jesus by Simeon (Luke 2). My holiday problem is it has become mundane. Same holiday letdown, different year. I want to marvel at something this holiday. I want to see something beyond my limited expectations. God, please move in a way this Christmas that I can only attribute to You being Who You are!