As the calendar rolls into a new month, it will mark the 24 month countdown to my 50th. Several things have been happening in the last week of vacation that have pushed me to look at the past a bit. I've been dealing with several younger people and circumstances in their lives, I've read two books that forced me to look back in order to see where I am headed in the future, and I've taken a vacation that has allowed me the luxury of actually taking the time to think instead of running non-stop. So, I thought an imaginary conversation with the 20 something Carla by the 40 something version could be kind of fun ~ and maybe give food for thought. So here is what I'd share....
1. The world is not your friend. Oh, it may seem like choosing what the latest trends suggest, or the "enlightened" mantra of a learned scholar, or even your unsaved friends is the best, however, anything contrary to the Word of God is simply garbage. If you will get this simple truth entrenched in your heart, it will save you from being deeply hurt. You see, the world will do all it can to convince you that what you think, feel, or know is wise and that you know what is best for your life. Simply put, that's a lie. You know Jesus as your Savior and if you will simply lay down your pride and arrogance and submit to Him, you will avoid so much pain. Yes, there will be people who think this "faith thing" is a crutch, or weird, or old fashion...but deep down we both know it's the only way to live life.
2. Character counts. Trust me when I say that this will be huge for you in the future...and I can tell it already is now. You value having a good name, and you already choose most of your friends for the character they possess. Dig in deeper on this issue. Do not be afraid to end relationships with people who do not possess character traits that are non-negotiables for you...and live by those traits yourself. There will be a multitude of opportunities to compromise and you will find the world (see #1!) will entice you to make excuses (or as it likes to say "reasons") for doing so. You will be miserable with yourself if you fall for this and will spend years regretting the compromise..trust me.
3. Your parents are not stupid nor old fashioned...at least seriously consider their counsel! This is especially true of your mother! For reasons I don't understand, you love to think you know everything and that your 1950's Mom cannot possibly understand how you feel. Yes, there are some things that she doesn't relate well to because of the time she grew up, but she does know a whole lot more than you can comprehend. Do you seriously believe that yours is the first generation to deal with sinful temptations? Yes, the specifics may be different, but the foundation is the same. Selfishness, pride, and the pleasure that sin can bring for a season did not originate with you and your peers...and if you just read your Bible a bit more, you'd see that. So, listen to your Dad and Mom... they just love you and Jesus and want the best for you.
4. Struggling to make it on your own is worth it in the end. I know sometimes it will be tough being a poor college student/young adult. You will have to do without many of the things that your working peers will have and it will honestly make you wonder if it is worth it...and yes, it is.
5. And on the same note - be VERY careful with a credit card! First, find a good financial manager who can mentor you in how to spend and save (your Dad comes to mind on this one!). Second, delay gratification. You live in an era that is very 'me' focused and for the first time in a generation, believes that we shouldn't wait for the homes, appliances, etc. that your parents paid cash for. WAIT! It will pay off in the long run!
6. There is absolutely no need to be envious of the 'it' person from high school. You will find out on your 35th class reunion that many of the 'it' people peaked in high school. They found it impossible to transition from being someone in high school to being anything in adulthood. How miserable it must be to know that you were at your best at 17 years old! Life has a great way of leveling the playing field. Watch those people who display good character qualities early on...they are the ones who do well in life. Make those the 'it' people in your life.
7. You will make a ton of mistakes...own up to them, confess them to the Lord, and move on. Part of life is making mistakes. Be diligent in keeping a short list for the Lord...confess what needs to be asked forgiveness and repent immediately. Holding on to anything that needs to be dealt with not only wastes time, but renders you ineffective for the things of eternity until you are right with Jesus. If not, you will look back and wish you'd have been more attentive to that fact!
8. Men. Well, Sweet Pea, there isn't too much wisdom I can share from here as my track record hasn't been the best, but will give it a try...
~ Listen to your best friend when she tells you that the 'guy of the moment' whom has captured your attention is a jerk, deadbeat, idiot, or the antichrist...will save you much time and heartache! She knows you sometimes better than you know yourself, and she probably sees him more clearly than you do.
~ Listen to your Momma when she tells you that the main thing you need to do is respect your man...she was quoting what God says and you can't go wrong there!
~ Wait. Hold out for what you want. Yes, being single can feel like a death sentence in a couple's world, but oh my, it beats being attached to the one you settled for! So many broken hearts are proof of that.
~ If a lothario who already has a girlfriend comes waltzing into the Student Center and starts sweet talking you...pick up your backpack and RUN...antichrist alert...you don't want to waste your time!
~ And finally, even though you may already have plans to return to your hometown college and don't want to complicate your departure from your current college, SAY YES to the kind, manly, Jesus loving, totally gorgeous older guy who offers to take you to dinner after you both get off of work. Your 40 something self will thank you for not making her wonder, "What if"..........
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