This past weekend was the annual Women's retreat for my church. I had the privilege of coordinating it, which really meant that I got to watch several gifted women serve others out of a heart of love for the Lord and the women of MCBC. I had the unique perspective of watching women of diverse backgrounds, spiritual depths, stations in life come together and connect as women... not wives, career women, moms, grandmothers, single, marrieds, divorced, college...just as women. Yes, we bring all of those titles to the table, but first and foremost, we are women who love Jesus and want to walk closer to Him and with each other. I watched them laugh together, share tears, pray to their Creator in worship and thanksgiving, and sing praises of worship with one voice. It was beautfiul...and bittersweet.
I had found out early that Saturday morning that a friend of mine from high school had unexpectedly passed away the night before. All through out the day, my thoughts were peppered with rememberances of Lorre...her laugh, how much she enjoyed having fun, the fact that we had just reconnected a couple of weeks ago and talked of getting together. I also thought about her spiritual state. I have no idea if she knew Jesus. I know she went to church, but I have no clue if she ever took that step of trusting Christ as her personal Savior. I really wish I did. It has been an acutely painful reminder that our lives are just a vapor. I am certain she didn't know when she woke that morning that January 13, 2012 would be her last day. But the Lord did, just as He knows the number of my days. Because those days are numbered, I must do my best to share Jesus at every opportunity.
I also became painfully aware that because my life is but a vapor, there was a relationship with one of my girlfriends that had splintered because of my pride, hurt feelings, and unwillingness to forgive. Jesus wasn't getting glory from that brokeness. I am thrilled that Jesus deeply convicted me to get that right. What a sweet time of forgiveness and reconcilliation that was!! I am thankful that in the sorrow of losing a friend to death, that the Lord gave me the unique perspective of the beauty of the ones I have left to enjoy and hold tight.
What about you? Is there a grudge that you are holding onto because of pride? Do you think that you have the 'right' to hold onto those hurt feelings? Are you passive aggressive in your dealing with the situation? Let me ask this one question...if something should happen to that person tonight, how would you feel about the answers to those three questions? I will be praying that you let Jesus heal whatever hurts you have and that the sweetness of reconcilliation will be yours.
Luke 6:37....forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
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