Lapidoth

Recently, I have been taking a class on how to study the Bible.  One of the activities we had  was to do a biographical study on a character assigned to us.  I was more than thrilled when I was assigned Deborah.  I have always loved the story about her in Judges 4 and 5.  She was a judge for the nation of Israel ~ and the only female one they had!  This study opened up several subtle nuances about her that I had never picked up in reading and I have an even deeper respect for her now than before.  As is often the case, when I study something intensely, I am often left with some questions that I just cannot answer.  Deborah's life was no different.  One of the several burning questions I have is 'What was her relationship like with her husband?'

At the onset of the story, we are told that Deborah was the wife of Lapidoth.  This is the entire extent of the discussion of her marriage.  No words on what kind of man he was, how he felt about her 'job' as a prophetess and judge, what he did for a living, etc.  Just his name. However, I know my God does not put one thing in His Word that isn't important.  So, Lapidoth has significance.  I have to admit that when I get something stuck in my head, it often rolls around there until I can put some order to it.  So, I started with what I had ~ his name.  The Hebrews were all about the meanings of names.  Lapidoth means 'torches'. Hmmm...light.  Somehow, I wonder if this man was a truthful force in his wife's life.  I know all too well the stress that comes with authority.  Sometimes, I just need a male perspective to help me drill down to the point of an issue.  You see, the Lord made me (and really all women) to have wonderful emotions that often help us to empathize with a situation.  And sometimes those emotions can impede us from making the tough call.  I can picture Deborah and Lapidoth sitting at the table with their morning coffee discussing what was on the docket for her day.  Often he'd just listen, but just as often she would ask his input.  He was her trusted adviser.

I also like how the Lord words their relationship: wife of.  Semantics are important.  This guy was not Mr. Deborah.  She was his wife.  Now before all of you independent women get your undies in a bunch, let's be honest.  This isn't talking about ownership, but relationship.  She belonged to him in relationship.  Isn't that what any of us really wants...to belong?  He was her man.  From my study of Deborah, I found that she was a women who was quite adept at God's desire for us to submit one to another.  When she was leading another man, Barak, into battle, she spoke to him in a way that encouraged and left his respect and dignity in tact.  I believe that this had to start first with her submission to the Lord, then to her husband.  She had her priorities in the right order.  The nation of Israel was blessed because of her right choices...just as a business, family, or ministry can be if we have our priorities straight.

Finally, I believe that Lapidoth was a man's man.  He must have been a man that was not intimidated by his wife's position or power.  He must have known who he was in the Lord's eyes and was probably like the Proverbs 31 woman's husband ~ a man who was confident of his position at the gate and proud of his wife's accomplishments.  I do believe that Deborah's attitude had to help solidify this.

This study has impacted me to change some things in my life and the study of Lapidoth is no different.  I have started praying for my Lapidoth.  While I am thriving in my single life, there is a desire to have a husband in my life that will lead me to be an even better minister for His glory.  So, I pray for a man like I envision Lapidoth to be.  I am also praying for myself.  I want to become the kind of woman that my Lapidoth can be proud of and that I will be the kind of woman that will help him be the man God calls him to be.