Is it I?

This week for our UNiTE reading, we've been finishing up the book of Matthew. I've spent some time just meditating on the death of Jesus and all that surrounded that account in Matthew 26 - 28. What has captured my attention is the response of those around Him...their humanness in a situation that cannot be compared to any other in history... how much I can relate to them.

I read about the disciples during that time. These men had spent an inordinate amount of time with Jesus, yet they still dwelled in the darkness of doubt. When Jesus told that one of them would betray Him, they all questioned, "Lord, is it I?" I think of me at that moment. Like the disciples, I know the doubt, unbelief, lack of faith that lurks in my soul. I too have wondered, "Is it I?" There is no doubt that I would have responded as they did.

Then there was Peter. I love Peter...because I can so easily relate to him. Like the passionate preacher, I too can declare my loyalty and affinity for a man, only to deny him in the next minute. We run high on emotion and low on discernment at times. Oh, we wholeheartedly believe that we will battle til the bitter end, finding the process of the battle wearying and frightening. We often draw the sword haphazardly swinging at anyone in our path, forgetting that He doesn't need us to fight battles for Him. And we weep bitterly, often to the depths of our souls, when we know we've let Him down.

With all of this humanness, I can't help but be overwhelmingly encouraged by one thing ~ the love of our Lord towards us. He knew what was going to happen, yet He still spent His last moments on earth loving without reservation. He still willingly went to that cross to take on my sin, my shame, my disappointing rejection of Him and His plan. He still put Himself in subjection to His Father, knowing that He would transcend to the depths of hell and be momentarily separated from the One with whom He had spent eternity past. It is here that I ask myself two questions... how can anyone reject that depth of love? and What am I doing to share that kind of love with those who don't know Him?