Gratitude

This rock sits on my desk at work as a constant visual reminder that I want to live in a state of constant gratitude for the abundant blessings in my life.  I really do have it very, very good.  Yet, I still find myself experiencing moments of flux when it comes to being thankful. Those moments when my spirit is battling my flesh for control over how I am going to respond to circumstances that leave me in a dichotomous state of peace and angst...and how is that possible anyway?

The past several weeks have been all over the board with circumstances.  Drama and turmoil that I would rather have passed me by was plopped right into the lap of my life and I was forced to deal with situations for which I had little patience.  People allowing their feelings to go rogue and thereby inflicting those around them with uncertainty, doubt, and distraction.  The ripple effect of sin. If there is one thing I would jump up on a soapbox and shout to whomever would listen is that YOUR sin does affect others around you.  No, I wouldn't shout it in a holier than thou blindness, but rather in a plea for them to avoid the pain they will cause others because I have been there.

There were the endings to relationships that I have held dear. It hurt. It made me very angry.  My flesh didn't want to end them. Yet, for the protection of my soul, it was a necessary ending.

There were the opportunities to do some different, dream inspired activities that I do believe would have brought the Lord glory....yet, I distinctly know that He was telling me not yet, to wait on that which will be His best, to not settle for good.  So, I said no.  While my spirit is completely at peace doing so, my flesh whined to the Lord that I am tired of the "no" that seems to be ruling my days of late.

None of this is making any common sense to me.  That's when His word pierces the cries of the flesh with answers.  In my quiet time this week, I read in 1 Corinthians about wisdom.  In chapter 3, verses 18-20 it says, " Let no man deceive himself.  If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.  And again, the Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain."

It is in this truth that I find the gratitude. It doesn't have to make sense to me, because He is making Godly sense of it all.  I rejoice in the truth that the stories aren't complete. What I see as issues of heartache and disappointment, He is viewing through Godly wisdom.  That makes it alright with me.  I want to be a fool to the world if it means that I gain His view and keep myself from being deceived.  For that I am deeply grateful.

Thank you, Father.