UGH!

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.


Pride. Something I have constantly had to deal with to one degree or another. Not so much the arrogant, "I'm all that and a bag of chips" kind of pride, but rather the pride of being independent. The pride of self sufficiency. The pride of being able to take care of myself. Yet again, I find myself in the middle of a deceptive thought pattern of believing I am strong enough on my own. I can handle this situation. It's done nothing but destroy the slight victory the Lord had going and caused major confusion in my life. It's wreaked havoc in my intimate time with Jesus and caused my prayer life to be a one sided conversation with no heart behind the words.

I very much can commiserate with Paul when he said he did the things he didn't want to do. Yep, that's me. In this moment, the raw shame of being a fool burns deep. The embarrassment of knowing others see my foolishness is physically painful... and that is right where the enemy would have me dwell. Thankfully, Jesus is greater than my shame. His strength, mercy and forgiveness are a balm to my anguished soul. Thank you for breaking me, Lord.