Behaving myself...

I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. Psalm 101:2

Oh, the task of behaving myself wisely.  This battle between flesh and spirit is frustrating.  As the date to the annual Women's Retreat approaches, it seems the distractions get greater and the battle a bit fiercer...and more personal. I am not the least bit surprised, because I have been there, done that before.  Anytime I have ever said yes to the Lord, the enemy counters.  That's just the way it is.

I also know it's a spiritual battle and that I do not fight flesh and blood, but principalities, powers and the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Eph. 6:12).  Yet knowing all of this, I still feel like I am fighting flesh...my own and others.  I am fighting the urges to behave in ways that are not wise, nor with a perfect heart. Fight the urge to really take control and deal with things on my own power.   Then I read that sweet little question in the middle of this verse... and I am reminded that I can't fight this battle without Him.  So I have found myself running to Him a lot lately.  I find myself claiming His word more than I ever have.  I feel the power of it washing over my hurting soul.  I have found myself asking for help from Him, and to see it given in the form of  His words, and godly women who speak truth, who lift me up in prayer.

And I believe with everything in me, while I may come out with a few scars, the labor will be forgotten when I see the fruit of this testing.

Jesus, all I can say is thank you...and I love you.