No more Mr. Nice Guy

I was once friends with a man who had a penchant for being rude.  He could take it to a level that I'd never seen before.  After a particular incident, I called him out on his behavior and told him he needed to be nice.  His response was interesting.  He told me he never wanted to be known as a nice guy. While I understood what he meant was he didn't want to be known as a passive man, I explained that what I meant was kind. Guess what? They don't necessarily mean the same thing at all.  Events of the past week have made me agree with Rudy Rudmeister.  I no longer want to be known as nice.

I have allowed some circumstances to linger in my life that I know are not good for me, not good for the others involved, and most importantly would diminish the effectiveness of the gospel in my life.  In an effort to 'be nice', I delayed dealing with what I knew needed to be done.  I didn't want to hurt the other person.  I didn't want to cause pain. Yet, I knew without a doubt that it was only delaying the inevitable. As the Lord does in my life, He unpeeled another layer and required me to go deeper and do a motive check.  What he showed me was that the facade of being nice was covering the fact that I am selfish.  I didn't want others to think ill of me. I wanted to be liked. I wanted momentary happiness in sacrifice of a lifetime of joy.  It was all about me. Now, while I don't want to bring pain to some one's life, I came to realize that by not dealing with it because I was more concerned about me than the long term effect and deepening hurt on them was flat out unloving...and unkind.

Did you know that the word 'nice' isn't used in the Bible one time? Nope, not once in the KJV. Zilch. However, the word kind is used a multitude of times and is defined as 'to show one's self as mild, benevolent, useful, good or fit for use'.  The word 'kind' is indicative of an action or attitude that one shows toward another.  In the famous verse on love in 1 Corinthians 13:4, one of the definitive words on the subject is that it is kind.  It indicates that there is an action involved towards another.  It takes the focus off of me and onto the other.  Because I love this person, I knew the kind thing to do was to deal with it.  Sometimes, the loving thing will hurt momentarily, but produce good in the long run. Many of the greatest moments in my life, the greatest stretches of growth, some of the closest relationships have come out of difficult words that were said to me in loving kindness. I want to learn to be that for others.

Ephesians 4:32 ~ And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you.