Blogging Challenge week - Musical Monday

Here's the challenge: What are the top five most frequently played songs on your iPod/iTunes account?

Hmm ...as is my prerogative, I am choosing to change this up a bit.  My iPod has a whole lot of music downloaded to it from 4+ years ago that bores me to tears and I don't have an active iTunes account.  I am cheap that way.  I prefer to listen to Pandora or watch YouTube videos.  So here is the Carla twist on the challenge ~ the top five songs or channels I am currently listening to via the two aforementioned sources.

5.  Home Free:  I just recently have discovered this very talented acapella group.  Those who watch "The Sing Off" know instantly who these guys are and have enjoyed their talent.  Here is the video for their performance of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire.

4.  Angry Girl Music:  Yeah, this one doesn't make me proud to admit.  I like the upbeat, sometimes naughty music by Pink, Rihanna, Katy Perry, etc.  I know, I know...not fitting for someone who professes a deep faith or who is of a certain age.  But truth is, I have found that I really am motivated to get things done when listening to Pink telling someone off...

3.  Skillet:  I've been listening to this band a lot since seeing them in concert this past March.  Again, not a band that I would normally be inclined to listen to, but their drummer is amazing and well, I simply like some of their songs.  Great to motivate me to walk a bit faster!

2. Sara Bareilles:  I just enjoy this quirky girl and her music.  King of Anything was the first song that I recall hearing of hers and I am a fan.  The newest one, I Choose You, is one of my all time favorites:

1. Big Daddy Weave/MercyMe:  Great worship music. Enough said.

Five months in....

Yesterday started my 6th month of being on the Daniel Plan for better health and as I was walking I was looking back at what I have gained over the past 150 days because of this decision and wanted to share them as a hopeful source of encouragement.

1.  Peace:
             You know that feeling you get when you are right where the Lord wants you, even when all hell breaks loose around you?  Yep, that's peace.  It is a beautiful thing to wake up and know this is what He wants me to do.  I love the peace of knowing that I am pursuing glorifying Him through being a good steward of what He has entrusted to me.

2.  The choice is mine, the strength is His:
              God did not create us to be non thinking, non decision making puppets who sit limply by waiting for Him to move the strings and we respond lifelessly.  EVERY day I have a choice to make of whether I am going to continue to pursue this road to health or if I am going to not.  I have a choice of whether I will move my body or not.  The big difference?  His strength to do it.  When I humbled myself and said I cannot do this by myself (and I have spent 35 years trying!!), that became a vessel in which He could work.  Make no mistake... I have worked very hard at making good food choices and moving my body, but the want to has come from the Lord.

3.  Living in the moment:
              I am usually all about making plans, having some goals, and being a control freak about much in life.  The Lord is changing that through the DP.  I now work at being prepared, yet living from one decision to the next...or walking in the Spirit.  An example:  Prior to the DP, my weight loss efforts were based on perfectionism and when I would fail, I would throw in the towel. Now they are based on moment by moment decisions.  When I choose to eat something that isn't that healthy for me at one meal, I am allowing that to be what it is - ONE decision. I am learning to make the next decision to be a good one.  I am finding that the good decisions far out weight the bad. It's about health and that is made one decision at a time.

4. Encouragement:
              In the past week alone, I can recount at least 6 people who have been a direct encouragement of my efforts! Everything from asking about my fitness goals of hiking to being told they were proud of my efforts.  Just yesterday, my friend Carrie asked how I was doing and I told her and her response was "Well I can tell you are sticking with it!"  Those simple words put wind in my sail for the rest of the day.  My days are often smattered with moments of encouraging words from those around me.  I have discovered that there are people who want to help me accomplish my goals, whether it be my new love of hiking to eating a healthy meal.  Friends who have rallied around me and supported my fitness to ones who call and invite me to dinner, cooking healthy for me.  It has blown my mind and filled my heart!  I hope to return the same to those around me.

5.  I love pushing myself more and caring what people think less:
              This realization makes me giggle.  I have never pushed myself physically before.  Now I find myself pushing some limits that I would have never done.  I have actually found myself, **GASP**, jogging during my walks!  It makes me LOL!  I have also found myself zigzagging down the road to get in more steps, not caring that those around me may think I look like a dork!  I also have taken up hiking and am finding that I love it.  I like to challenge myself to climb things I would not have before, to walk a bit farther than before, to finish well.  I may not be overly graceful, but I am doing it.

6. Grace:
            This is the sweetest lesson of all.  I realize that I didn't have a clue what true grace was all about and I am still in the learning process.  I was so hard on myself and everyone else around me (so sorry!) to be something that the Lord never intended.  I viewed my Heavenly Father as something of a tyrant who was ready to smite me or at least be vastly disappointed in me every time I mess up.  Nope, that is simply not the case.  Yes, I believe God is serious about sin and we should be as well.  Yet, I also believe He is well aware of our frail human nature that rages war inside and He showers us with so much grace to deal with it.  I am finding that He truly does care and wants me to succeed, and, shocker...wants to help me succeed!!  The DP has been freeing in that realm for me and I am embracing it with all I have and hope to spread it to others as well.  I love Jesus more than I did when I started this and I didn't think that possible.

These are the rewards.  It's these non visible motivators that keep me after it.  I've lost pounds, but they aren't near as important as what I have gained!

TRUTH.

REFUSE TO SETTLE.

Spirit Led Dependency

Yesterday, I was filling up my water bottle for what seriously felt like the millionth time and I began to wonder why the Creator of the universe couldn't have just wired us so that we didn't need water so much.  So I asked Him.  Yeah, that's our relationship. I ask if I want to know.  He may choose to answer immediately.  He may choose to have me dig in His word before He reveals the answer to me.  He may choose to just say, "Wait."  Yesterday, the answer came in one word.

Dependent.

Dependent.  A position in life that has never felt comfortable to me and a word I have treated with disdain.  If you ask my parents to name a characteristic that has described me since birth, they would most likely say independent.  I have heard the stories of my penchant for 'doing it myself' from the time I was a young child.  I have worn independence as a badge of honor and, remorsefully, have allowed it to become an issue of pride with me.  It has cost me much over the years of my life.  However, yesterday dependence was a word that brought a sense of well-being and peace. Why?

I don't know if it's because I am becoming wiser in my years and/or have concentrated on walking in the Spirit more, but I am finding that I am learning to embrace the dependency I have on the Lord's leading.  As I have aged and He has given me more wisdom, I understand the absurdity of thinking that I control most of what goes on in life.  I simply don't.  I can try to make the best decisions for my life and still have less than desired results.  Bad things still happen to good people.  Sometimes, people do bad things and pay no price for them. What I do know is that I am responsible for me and the choices I make and the outcome is His to determine.  As I have pursued walking in the Spirit more purposefully, my spirit has become more settled and joy filled.  It has taken that unnecessary pressure off of me to control outcomes.

I have now completed 126 days of life change on this Daniel Plan.  I have lost 39 pounds, inches that I haven't bothered to measure, and an addiction to sugar and refined flour.  I have gained energy, joy, and purposefulness.  All of that is good, but they are not the best things I have lost or gained. That would be losing independence and gaining trust and grace.    My trust in my Savior has grown exponentially.  The same God that delivers on every promise from manna to motherhood in the Scriptures is the same God who knows my name, knows my weaknesses, knows my struggles, and knows the inheritance He has chosen just for me.  He KNOWS me.  Does it really get any better than that?  Have you fully embraced just what it means to have a Heavenly Father that knows you better than any other being, including yourself?  This same heavenly Father does what He says He will do (Titus 1:2), fights for you (Jeremiah 1:19), prays for you (John 16:26) and wants to protect (Psalm 28:7) and take care of you (Matthew 10:29-31).  He is also the same God who sent saving grace (Eph 2:8-9) in the form of the God- man Jesus Christ.  That same grace gives you a place to grow, is sufficient for all you need ( 2 Cor 12:9), and gives you access to boldly approach the Father (Heb 4:16) and ask Him anything.  That's what I did and He has answered in ways that I couldn't imagine...but He said He would! (Ephesian 3:20)

Father, thank you for bringing me to a place of dependence upon You unlike I have ever known!

Wind

The wind whipping through the trees at Gibson Woods

Yesterday on my morning walk, I was blessed with a cool breeze to keep the heat and bugs at bay.  As I was walking north for my first mile, that wind was at my back, scooting me along at a pretty good pace.  I was making good time and got to the turn around point, only to find a fierce, stiff wind blowing h-a-r-d!  I couldn't hear my music for the sound of howling wind whipping past my ears.  I literally had to lean in and push through it for my mile return home.

As is par for the course, the Lord often speaks to me during these moments of observation.  Yesterday was no different.  The first take away had me comparing my morning fitness walk to that of my walk with Jesus.  There are many times that I feel like I did heading north...the breeze at my back, floating along and happy as can be, just enjoying Jesus and seemingly moving forward at an effortless pace.  My time in the word is rich, I am being more obedient to what I am learning and applying it to my life, and I seem to be at peace in my relationships.  Then there are the other times when I seem to be buffeted by the winds of resistance...in my quiet time with Him, in my relationships, in my work, and ministry efforts.  But what I did notice coming home is that my muscles had to work harder because of the resistance!  I got a much better workout and burned more calories because of it.  So it is with my spiritual muscles.  Those times of trial and resistance are actually opportunities to work my spiritual muscles of recalling God's word, applying it to the situation, deepening my trust that what He says He will do...He will. I found myself listening more intently when the wind was in my face, just as I seem to listen for His leading during those times of spiritual resistance. I simply must lean in and go through.  Not easy, but I will tell you from personal experience, it's been worth it every time!  Much like my effort to finish yesterday's walk... I had more energy and a sense of really pleasing the Lord with my effort!

The second take away is perspective.  I could always want to have that wind at my back, yet it's in those tough moments of resisting and winning that He gets the most glory. Thank you for the wind, Father!

84 Days and counting...Part 2

And now...the rest of the story....

Later that day, I purchased the book about the Daniel Plan and decided that I would begin the plan later that week.  I was pleased that most of the tenets of the plan are basic biblical perspective... being in the Word, being obedient, having a group for support, knowing that there would be rough days we just have to make the best of it, and to rejoice.  These were the very things I'd been learning about having a sober mind.  Made sense that to make a life change requires sobering up!  I did not want a plan that focuses on food, but rather on getting healthy.  Seems to me that most "diets" are about weight loss and not about truly getting healthy.  The Daniel Plan uses food as the way the Lord intended...for sustenance and healing.  I liked that. I have noticed that most diets do not deal with the psychological attachments that many of us have to food. I knew I didn't want to sit at a meeting and talk about food with a bunch of strangers.  So, instead of starting with a group, I enlisted my inner circle for the accountability I would need, especially in the beginning.  I am not saying that is the best way for all, but it worked for me. The basic concept for the Plan is to eat foods closest to the way we find them naturally and to eliminate sugar and processed foods from the diet.

So here is the good, the bad and the ugly of the 84 days of this life change:

1.  Sugar is the WORST thing you can put in your body!  I thought I was doing fairly well in this area until I investigated it fully.  I eliminated all forms of sugar, artificial sweeteners, and began using only stevia, and pure maple syrup on rare occasion for baking.  I honestly believe detoxing from that was as difficult as detoxing from any other addictive substance and for two weeks it was hell! My body rebelled mightily.  My muscles ached, I had headaches, I craved sugar more than I thought possible!! I have a neurologist that sits on my board who told me that sugar is as addictive as heroin...and I would completely believe it. 

2.  Processed grains (or foods) are NOT our friends.  As someone who has worked in some form of Health Care for 25 years, I can tell you that there is a direct correlation between the increase in processed food/sugar consumption and the rise in obesity/diabetes/other chronic diseases.  We put these "foods" in our bodies and deny ourselves true nutrition, thereby increase the body's craving for sustenance and thus the crazy cycle begins. I haven't eaten any processed bread since starting! I do get some whole grain or gluten free items to use on occasion.

3.  Water.  Oh this was the one thing I have heard over and over...our bodies need water.  Not soda, juice, tea, sports drinks...just good ole H2O.

4. Exercise.  Our bodies are created to move and we have become a sedentary culture.  We have a very cool risk manager for the county that comes into the Health Department and has encouraged us to get up and move frequently throughout the day.  Sedentary jobs have become the new smoking...in other words, sitting for long periods is a detrimental to your health as smoking. Yikes!

5.  The Daniel Plan urges us to follow the plan (50% veggies, 25% each of a lean protein and starch, and a low glycemic fruit) for each meal 90% of the time.  That clicked with me.  It took the pressure off to "do this diet perfect".  It is a lie from the pit of hell that we have come to believe that we have to be perfect.  We simply aren't. We simply won't be.

So what have I experienced?

Physically:
 ~ Once the sugar detox was over, my cravings reduced by 95%!  I still crave chocolate on occasion and will indulge.

~ I crave water.  Now, this is HUGE! I HATED drinking plain water.  Once I eliminated the other options and began drinking lots of water, I started to want more and more. I do drink tea and sweeten it with stevia.

~ I am a smoothie freak! This is a great way to get those green veggies into your diet!  My favorite is spinach, almond milk, almond butter and a banana. I feel satisfied and enjoy the sweet treat every morning.

~ I am moving a lot more.  I started getting up and walking around the office when the weather was bad and noticed how much more energy I had when I got home at night! I park away from the door and try to get more steps in.  I walk when I get home from work either on the treadmill or outside. I move my body.

~ I didn't know how bad I felt until I started feeling good.  When I eat off of the plan (sugar or processed), my body revolts! I am finding that I don't like feeling this way and avoid foods that make me feel awful.

~ I have lost weight and inches.  It isn't coming off quickly, but it is incrementally. 

Emotionally:
~ I have made peace with the number on the scale.  I have decided to make that the secondary issue to feeling better. Oh, I know that taking off the extra weight will physically and emotionally make me feel better. Yet, I also know that the number game is just that...a twisted, mood altering game.  I know that number can fluctuate for too many reasons to count and I am not going to be held hostage to it.  Two weeks ago I had traveled for work, was away from home and my routine and I had gained a little under a pound.  But I walked and ate on plan the best that I could 90% of the time. For the first time, I could pull off pants that were zipped and button...the same pants that were difficult to button in January!

~ I know that the war is won by the small battles.  Daily, sometimes hourly, I have to make a decision about what I am going to put into my mouth.  How am I going to nourish this body for this 24 hour period? Those small, good decisions add up to big returns down the road.

~ When I don't do well...it's okay. I have promised myself not to believe the lie from hell that a poor choice is the end.  It's just a poor choice.  I commit to follow up with a good choice.

Spiritually:
~ Can I just say that I have a personal, attentive, loves me to the depths of my soul, Savior who is walking with me every step of the way?!  Jesus is pleased with my decision to honor him by being a good steward of my body and health.  That makes my soul bubble up with joy!

~ The doors that this has opened  to bring glory to the Lord has stunned me.  I have talked to so many people about the program and the difference it is making in my life....and it's all because of Jesus.  He is blessing me for my obedience.  I am seeing others make incremental changes in their lives that is making them feel better and I love being someone who encourages that! He has even opened up a possibility to move this to a large scale endeavor...Wow!

~ By becoming more in tune with how my body tells me when I make a good choice or a poor choice, I am reveling in the awesome work the Creator did in creating the human body.  I let my body tell me when I am hungry, not the clock.  I pay attention to the signals my body gives that I have put a toxin it that it doesn't like (diet coke...oh.my.word. I paid dearly for drinking two on a road trip! done.) and cross that off my list.

~ He's honing my leadership.  I heard a phrase at a conference by a personal trainer that was so biblical...lead by living.  In other words, your actions determine the level of leading you will do. I cannot lead a health department that should influence our community if I am not living the example.

I know many of you reading this struggle like I do. Maybe it's not food. There is one common thing required of all of us if we truly want victory in our lives over any issue. It's humility. We must humble ourselves and admit that we simply cannot have lasting victory without His intervention. The Lord is master at taken a broken vessel and crafting it into something that beautifully reflects Him...and that what I want to be.  If I can be of encouragement to you...please contact me.

I will be honest.  It scares me to share this.  I  know how many times I have failed before.  I know that I am a weak, fallible woman who could choose to go back to her old ways. BUT... I also know that I have a greater Power living in me that is holding me close and fighting for me. His name is Jesus and He is my all in all.

84 days and counting...part 1

Today marks the 84th day of of a life change that I am embarking on. It wasn't something that I had planned to write about prior to today, but the Lord has done some pretty incredible things and I want to do two things: bring Him glory and encourage others.  My hope is that this post will do both.  However, before I get to the good stuff, I need to share what got me to day 84....

2014 started off with me feeling lousy.  I had weighed more than I had ever in my entire life.  I was in a lot of physical discomfort (achy joints, swelling, muscle cramps, exhausted all the time), emotional pain (constantly berating myself for lack of self control, embarrassment when my clothes were way too snug) and spiritual pain (my lack of self control was an indicator that I wasn't completely walking in the Spirit, how can I claim that my God is able to do anything but I can't seem to get this taken care of, lost ministry opportunities because of my attitude about my weight). Yes, I had felt those feelings for many years but was able to stuff them down.  Not this time. For reasons I have yet to fully comprehend, this was THE issue screaming for attention and nothing I could do was removing it from the forefront.

I went into the week of our annual retreat determined to break the stronghold that food had on my life so I began a Daniel Fast.  I wanted to set apart that week to restricting my eating as a sacrifice for the Lord.  I wanted Him to come into my life in a new way.  Looking back, there was no logical reason for me to have chosen the Daniel Fast because I have normally chosen to do just a water/juice fast.  However, today I wonder if it wasn't my personal Lord that lead me in that direction in preparation for the life change He wanted to begin in me. The fast came and went, the retreat came and went, and I came out of that fast pleased with what we had accomplished together and went right back to previous eating patterns.

The moment of crisis for me came a couple of weeks later.  While doing the Daniel Fast, I'd stumbled upon the Daniel Plan website and found they were two different things.  I began investigating the Daniel Plan and liked what I read.  During this time, the enemy voice inside of me kept saying, "Another diet? Really, Carla?  How many have you failed? You will fail at this as well." However, there was a stronger voice challenging that evil one saying, "I am on your side. Together, we can do this. My word promises I will never leave you or forsake you. I never go back on My Word." Right now you are picturing the devil on one shoulder and the Lord on the other, aren't you??! ;)  Yep, that's what it was like! On February 4th, I was in the heat of this debate in my mind when that still small voice says, " Call Mike about this". Ugh. I'd had no intention of dragging my pastor into this issue.  Yes, we'd shared that struggle in conversation in the past, but I was emotionally raw at this point and didn't really want to talk about it. Yet, that voice became more persistent...so I called.

Can I just stop here for a moment and tell you with all authority that when God tells you to do something, there is a very good reason for that.  Don't question, just do it! Best call I have ever made.

A shout out to the Lord for giving me a pastor that is straight forward, yet deeply compassionate.  As I laid out the struggle and my desire for help, the raw emotion broke through with tears streaming down my face as I drove down the highway, I told him, "This is perhaps the most difficult call I have ever needed to make.  I need help.  I don't know how to do this and it takes everything I have in me to ask for help."  What my pastor wisely didn't do was to try to throw out ideas to 'fix it'...he wisely listened.  He encouraged me.  He spoke words of truth into my situation that I needed to hear. And he said we needed to pray about how to proceed. He then jokingly said that this may be the next big thing for our church and I laughed and said I have no intention of being the poster child for the Daniel Plan.  I would imagine if you asked him, he probably doesn't remember most of this.  However, that was the day my life turned.  That moment of utter brokenness was when the Spirit was able to move in deeper to THE area that I have been battling since I was 5 years old.  It has shaped so much of who I am.  Some of it has been used beautifully by the Lord to bring character into my life that may not have been developed otherwise.  Mostly, it's held me back.

Tomorrow... the rest of the story....