Consider Your Ways

Now therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways. ~ Haggai 1:5

I try to pay attention to the Lord whenever I hear His word, but I have to admit much probably gets past me on a consistent basis.  However, I have made a practice of really paying attention when I hear something more than once over the course of a 24 hour period.  Today, I believe the Lord was shouting to me as I heard the Lord speak to me about the same issue from three different sources over the course of 4 hours...that's a condensation of His Word that is highly unusual for me.  What was basically said is what the Lord said in Haggai:  Consider your ways.

As I have encouraged those words to take residence in my heart today, I've come to the conclusion that I have not been careful in obeying that admonishment. 

I have been waging a battle with the Lord over control of a few areas of my life and frankly, it's made me miserable.  God has made it clear to me that I am in deep need of accountability in my life, and I have chosen to try to tread in the cesspool of pride, only to find myself almost drowning.  I have refused to humble myself, invite another believer into my world to give guidance, prayer,encouragement and thus allow the Lord not only to work in my life, but possibly work in theirs.  I have made useless excuses as to why I haven't obeyed.  As I was thinking it over during the morning message, I've realized that the most rudimentary reason is that I don't want the Lord to say 'no' to me. And in my childish resistance to obedience, I have failed to realized that I am also risking missing a 'yes' from Him as well. 

I know that the biggest part of pleasing the Lord is faith...faith in Him, His ways, and trusting that His promise to watch over me are beyond good enough reasons to take the risk of a 'no'....I would welcome your prayers as I move forward in obedience.

Ordinary Moments

The true test of a person’s spiritual life and character is not what he does in the extraordinary moments of life, but what he does during the ordinary times when there is nothing tremendous or exciting happening. A person’s worth is revealed in his attitude toward the ordinary things of life when he is not under the spotlight.  ~Oswald Chambers

I have a love/hate relationship with Oswald Chambers....love his ability to drill down to the heart of an issue and hate how often it convicts me.  However, this morning, there was a joy and love for this because I realized victory is happening in my life!

This past week I had a sort of epiphany, if you will...an overwhelming sense from my Maker that I am right in the midst of where He wants me to be.  It reminded me of the feeling I got when I was about 6 and we would go swimming at Grammer's lake.  There was this HUGE cliff that the big kids would run and jump off of and into the strip mine lake below.  I can remember walking to the edge umpteen times to look at how far down I'd drop before hitting the water.  I would returned back to the starting point, run towards the edge only to stop before having to step off.  Through prodding of my Dad, I finally got the courage to jump.  That free fall was scary, exhilarating, and awesome all at the same time!

 

I used to live my life in the wait and wanting of the extraordinary moments. I wasted too much time waiting for the next big thing (which never seemed to materialize!) or for the Lord to make some magnanimous move that would change the trajectory of my life.  I was so busy waiting and watching(walking just up to the edge of giving Him all of my life), that I missed what was right in front of my face: the life He has for me and is walking with me( the free fall into trust).   So today, I recounted some ordinary things in the past few months that were evidences of His character taking root and growing in me...humbling myself and asking forgiveness from someone I'd hurt with sharp words and a bad attitude,  allowing myself to be vulnerable in a couple of relationships where that is hard (read nearly impossible!) to do because He wanted me to for His glory, praying for fellow believers on BOTH sides of a conflict instead of taking sides and fanning the flames of strife among the brethren, loving someone who can be unlovable, taking steps of obedience to conviction on my finances, praying for His will in a matter and truly placing my desires aside.  All small and perhaps ordinary, but infinitely significant in God's view.

98%

The last three days have been so random.  Encouraging words one minute, words of conviction/correction the next.  Good decisions applied to my life. Then I make a Forrest Gump "Stupid is as stupid does" move that my friend Jen swears is an acting out manifestation of my new hair color!  Moments of thinking I am of little use immediately dashed by being used of God to move someone closer to Him.  Prayer with a god fearing friend that left me knowing I was at the foot of His throne and excited because I know He is going to turn our world upside down with His answer! Whew.  That was all before our service on Sunday morning!

We've been reading the book Weird by Craig Groeschel for a Sunday night discussion time at church.  This book rocked my world about 4 months ago and I was only too pleased to have the chance to share it's insights with other believers.  To say the conversations have been rich would be an understatement!  This past week we read on relationships and one sentence that Groeschel wrote has been working it's way in my mind and then my heart:

                "Have you noticed that we tend to judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions?"

Wow.  Now, maybe you are more evolved/self aware in your relationships and already understood this, but not me.  This blew me away. Truth so often does.  I am guilty of this very thing.  While I am a proponent of the truth that a person's actions are the primary evidence of their heart's desire, I need to be very careful in thinking that it is the whole story.  I am often so quick to want to write someone off because of their actions yet would be hurt if that were done to me.  Often, my intentions are good, but my follow through is anything but good.  Kind of like Paul, I know the good I want to do, but too much of the time I do the very thing I don't want to do.  But before you fear that I've gone soft and think we ought to let ourselves off the hook, I am riding the pendulum back to the word 'consistency'.  What are the consistent actions being witnessed by others? Again, from the wisdom of Jen, if I am spouting good, godly words 2% of the time, but the actions of the other 98% are belying the truth of those words in my life, chances are my intentions aren't good. Oh how I want to live those percentages in the opposite direction!! Just some external processing here that I hope makes me think and act differently....and challenges you to the same! :)

Craving what Redbox doesn't have....

Today, I drove past the local video/dvd store and again noticed an advertisement that irritates me every time I read it.  It says,"We have ___________________(insert title of movie) and Redbox doesn't have it".  Now, I wish I could give you a hard, fast, totally sane reason why it irritates me, but I can't other than it sounds like something a whiny 2nd grader would say.  Having studied a bit of marketing in college, I am well aware of the roll of the dice a company takes when it goes negative on a competitor and mentions their name in the ad.  I thought about what they were trying to say (we are bringing you this movie first) and what it actually said to me (While Redbox may have a lot of very recent movies for only a dollar, we have this ONE new one that you can rent for $3.50...oh, and we are sorely losing to the competion so we need to point out that they CAN'T give you what we can today....).  I really wonder how many people jump at that promo?  I wonder how much it helps their bottom line?

Maybe because I'm rereading the book by Craig Groeschel called, "Weird: Because normal isn't working", or simply because the Lord is convicting me on several areas related to this, but I am noticing how many times I will go negative on a situation instead of camping out on the beauty of the truth.  I will allow the enemy of my soul to draw my attention to the one thing I don't have, instead of dwelling on all of the truly wonderful things that I do possess. Just like the world does.  An interesting task we were given in this book to do is to sit for 5 minutes and rest.  Do not allow your mind to wander to the "have to do" task list, but really rest in the Lord.  I decided that I was going to take that 5 minutes and spend it thanking the Lord for everything I had experienced that day.  Whoa!  I got very specific and was amazed at how much I came up with...some small stuff, some big stuff ~ but all of it was because the Creator of the Universe looks down on this lowly woman and chooses to bless her.  Interestingly, it could have went on longer than the 5 minutes!  The Lord also is showing me that by 'marketing' in a negative way, I am really taking away from the beauty that is within me because I am spending my efforts and energy trying to tell the world why __________________ isn't good enough instead of concentrating on what is really great within me.  Jesus Christ.

Yeah, I think I want to be 'weird' and do what is opposite of normal on this one..... :)

God Sentences

This weekend I had the joy of hosting my nephew and niece for an overnight filled with shopping, games, movies, treats and laughter.  I love being an aunt for a variety of reasons but one of the best is that I can influence these young people for Jesus Christ.  Being their aunt, I have minimal responsibility for the day to day disciplines that come with parenting, which gives me a different position in their eyes....and perhaps an advantage in getting them to listen to me.  The Lord blessed me with such an opportunity this weekend...

As we were preparing to leave for church on Sunday morning, the ever observant thinker, Logan, made a comment that confused me at first.  He said, "Aunt Carla, you sure have a lot of God sentences around your house."  When I asked him what he meant by that, he pointed to several plaques and stitchings that adorn various nooks and crannies around my home.  I chuckled at the reference to 'God sentences', but then ran through the open door laid before me and explained to both he and Rileigh that it is because I love God so much and He is so important in my life that I  like to be reminded of what He promises to do in my life when I choose to follow Him.  One little conversation that is tucked away in their memories of the One that their Aunt Carla trusts.  Hopefully, one of many in the future.  Prayerfully, my actions will back those words.

As I think back over my childhood, it was often those 'caught' rather than 'taught' moments that had the greatest impact.  Like the time when my Dad demonstrated grace and mercy towards me while I was in a fit of anger, which pictures exactly what Jesus did for me on the cross. Then there was  a plaque my Mom had with the words from I Peter 5:7 scribed on it that my sister would carry around with her during times she was afraid. The best was the plaque that hung in our living room that told of a man that asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" and Jesus replied, "This much" and He stretched out His arms and died.  A friend once asked me what that meant and I was able to share the Gospel with him...all because of God sentences.  

Isaiah 55:11
So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

The Card

Proverbs 15:23
A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!

I am finding my world a bit too negative for my liking.  I have had about 6 weeks of negative situations creeping into my life where I've had to deal with so many things that I have slowly coiled myself into a ball and pretty much shut out the world.  I just couldn't take much more.  I was on autopilot.  Counsel rejected by those who sought it in the first place, anger over counsel, harsh words biting at my soul, heartbreaking decisions that will certainly leave life long scars.  Last night I laid that all out to the Lord, including the demoralized feelings I had at my worth in His plan and life in general.  Yeah, melodrama at it's best, but can I get an amen from you who have been there, done that??  It's in those moments that Jesus does what He does best.  This morning I awoke to the card on the kitchen table.

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I received a variety of cards jabbing at my ever increasing years and all the effects that time has on a person.  I love them because they are funny and often true!  My family and friends are a funny lot, let me tell you!  The belated card from my friend, Jen, was no different.  You see, the relationship between Jen and I is very layered, but right above the foundation of Jesus is our love of laughing...and usually at each other!  When I opened and saw two seriously old women playing cards and the first comment starts with one talking of getting her belly button pierced, I knew it was gonna be a good one.  It was.  But that wasn't the best part of the card.  It was the words written in the card.  Jen had proceeded to lay out about 10 different ways that my life had impacted hers.  Very specific ways. Things that I have done, words that I have said, tough things that we've endured together.  Honestly, it was tough to get to the end of the note through the tears that had welled up in my eyes.  Jesus had used my precious friend and her words to bring rain to a soul that was as dried and cracked as a sun baked field.  Jesus knew I desperately needed evidences that I mattered to His kingdom, to the people around me, to Him.  I wish I were strong enough to believe it all the time, but frankly, I just am not.  Oh, I KNOW I do, but believing and knowing are as different as night and day.... or heaven and hell.  Sometimes, many times, I need to hear it.  I cannot begin to articulate how much that impacted me and my day.

Why do I share this?  I've been listening to/reading about/researching the subject of affirmation of late.  God has made it clear to me that one of the gifts He has bestowed on me is the gift of exhortation.  I love cheering people on in life, and have been told that I am good at it.  It comes naturally to me and brings me joy.  However, lately, I've been drawn deeper into the study of it because I don't believe I do it as well as I could.  I want to be an encourager of extraordinary proportions...the kind who draws others to Christ.  In this quest, I was listening to an author, Sam Crabtree, talk of this very issue and just how important this gift is in the body of Christ and the unsaved world.  Amen.  I am evidence of that, my friends.

So what about you?  Is there someone that the Lord has been urging you to encourage today? Please, for their sake, do not ignore that urging! Be that rain to their soul and that word spoken in due season....

The Spanking

Oft times, I have heard fellow believers in Jesus talk about getting a 'spanking' from the Lord.  I always found that rather humorous, but I understood what they meant...the Lord got their attention through correction.  You see, as a child, I wasn't spanked much.  My friend, Bob, says, "Maybe if you had been, we'd be dealing with a whole different Carla!".  He jokes...I think.  I believe my parents never found it necessary to spank me much, not because I was that good of a kid, but rather because I have an overly tender heart.  It took one look of disappointment from my dad to send me into a tail spin of remorse that would often last days.  Now Mom, well, I can remember a few times that the bottom of her flip flop or a switch would find it's mark on my hinder parts, but I honestly don't remember that happening as much.  It usually worked to tell me that they were disappointed...which felt worse than any beating ever could have!

Discipline from the Lord often is seen in the same way in my life.  It is rare that I feel a 'spanking' from Him.  But boy do I routinely feel the rod of correction through His word and that still, small voice.  It happened today.

I have been praying for more opportunities to share Christ with others, to reach out of my ordinary routines and expand my mission field.  As I was praising the Lord this morning for fruit our church has experienced over the past several months and praising Him for the baptisms that will happen this weekend, again, the prayer bubbled up and out that I want broader borders in my influence.  As is typical of my walk with Jesus, He was gonna test my honesty in that prayer.  Just didn't think it would happen so soon!!  I called a friend to invite them to join me and a few others for a girls dinner and movie night.  The group I envisioned in my mind would have a night of laughs and just being ourselves.  Well, the Lord moved...my friend asked if she could invite one of her friends.  Uh, well...(I really didn't want to upset the dynamic of the group I had envisioned)....uh, well, I'd rather not if that's okay.  She was a bit disappointed, but understood. So, we chatted up a bit more then hung up.  I went to work on something and then it hit...that small voice said, " Thought you wanted to increase your borders?"  Whoa.  Then, as if to drill home the point, He said, "Were you for real about your request or not?"  Ouch.  I love how the Lord isn't snarky or sarcastic...just asks a simple question that cuts through any smoke and mirrors that I may have set up.  Wow.

I phoned the friend back, apologized, and re-invited all who would want to come.  I explained that I was wrong and that her friend might just need some fellowship with some believers.  Then I promptly thanked the Lord for loving me so much that He isn't going to let me dwell in my selfishness, nor is going to miss an opportunity for correction and training.  What a wonderful lesson today!

Thank you Father for loving me beyond what I can begin to comprehend.  Thank you for correcting me and not allowing me to be less that who You want me to be.  Thank you for pointing out my selfishness, but more importantly, for pointing out my need to step it up in my committment to seeing others come to know You.  I love you!

Job 5:17

Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty