Things I just don't get....

Last night a group of us were talking about things we just don't get from God's Word and how difficult it can be to discern what it means and how it applies. We laughed that some things will just have to wait until Heaven. I've been playing around with this idea of things I just don't get and I decided to pen it for fun. So, in no particular ranking of how much it confuses me, is a list of things that perplex me. Some serious, some silly... but hopefully thought provoking and entertaining....

~ I don't get why some people must have chronic drama in their lives. They seem to thrive on their life being in constant turmoil, and when there isn't, they make a wacko decision that even a 6 year old could tell wasn't a wise choice, just so they have some more drama.

~ I don't get why the guy in the dual exhaust jacked up truck had to go from zero to 40 between placing his order and the payment window at McDonald's this morning. Just what was he trying to prove? And to whom..the fry girl? Perhaps it was a testosterone issue....

~ I don't get why I spend time looking at what separates me from people instead of what commonly bonds us. I feel like I have been faultily wired to figure out how I am different from folks instead of what we have in common. Maybe pride....

~ I don't get why people have faith that politicians are here to save the day. We expect a group of folks who may or may not have had any experience in the real world to fix our problems? Come on. I can tell you first hand that more help from the government will automatically mean more oversight and involvement, which translates to less freedom and innovation. And we know how we Americans deal with being told what to do and how it must be done.... I, for one, do not wish to have my life directed by some fat cat on Capitol Hill or in Springfield. Ok...enuf with the politics...

~ I don't get why the IDOT truck ran over the HUGE dead skunk in the road instead of stopping and removing it so others didn't hit it this morning. Seriously, the dude couldn't have missed it... it was the size of a small dog! Isn't that part of what the thousands of tax dollars I pay go for? Or could it be like a few of the people in past places I've worked that would walk by a paper on the floor and not pick it up because it was someone else's job?

~ I don't get why I can take a negative comment directed towards me and believe it to be gospel, but I virtually ignore or brush off a compliment. Balance will always be that one area that will elude me....

~ I don't get why I spend so much time focusing on the lies of the enemy that I am worthless instead of the truth of the Word that I am priceless. My Savior paid an unimaginable price for me and the fact that I spend even one millisecond doubting my worth is unacceptable.

~ I don't get people who think life owes them. People who don't believe you have to work for what you want, but rather it should be handed to them. Guess I was raised believing that anything worth having is worth working for....and I believe it to be true.

~ I don't get rebels without a cause. People who break rules just because they can baffle me. What's the point? Do they think it makes them look cool, because frankly, they look like idiots. God gives us intelligence and discernment...we should use it.

~ I don't get the duck-billed platypus. Wonder what God was thinking on that one? Wonder why Adam named it that? Are there other non duck billed platypuses in the world? Are you googling to find out? Maybe He just wanted to give me a laugh...

Slow Fade

I've been thinking a lot about character lately. It's amped up in the last few days as I got news of a former school acquaintance being arrested for embezzlement. These are people I have known, while not closely, for many years. We all went to school together. I went to their wedding. This only happens to other people on news shows in other communities.

I keep asking myself, "How could this happen?". If the allegations are accurate, did he not think there are consequences to his actions? Did he not think about his future, not to mention their kids? Did he not think he'd get caught? Then I picture him sitting in a jail cell, or his living room if he's out on bail, with his head in his hands asking that very question, "How did this happen?". My heart melts with empathy. No, not because I've done the exact thing he has... but because I've experienced the 'how did this happen' in my own life.

In what probably seemed like 'overnight', his life went from good to bad. Mine did too. But on further examination, it turns out that the small decisions I make on a daily basis impact the big picture of my life. Many of the areas where I experience problems did not happen in a 24 hour period, but rather are the culmination of days, months, even years of poor decisions and compromises. That slight compromise seems to go by without any repercussion, leading to a larger step in the wrong direction, which leads to the spiral downward. So, yes, I can all to readily understand where it starts, which humbles me to cast prayers upward instead of condemnation outward. It also drives me to cling to the admonition in I Cor. 10:12 ~ Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

My favorite lyricist in contemporary Christian music is Mark Hall from Casting Crowns. To me, he seems to be able to drill down to the heart of a matter, beautifully blending grace and mercy on the backdrop of God's holiness. Below is one of my favorites:

Slow Fade
Mark Hall

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Turns

One of the young women I mentor, Princess S, recently turned 15 which brought about a significant occasion in her life ~ getting her driving permit. She has been talking excitedly of all the time she will spend driving once she gets it. That day came last week and I got the call this weekend with the question, "You want to go driving today?". So, we embarked on a little road trip, which grew into driving on back roads around our little town, practicing parking and backing up in an almost vacant lot, up to a 12 mile drive on an older highway to the next town down the road. The one area I noticed she had the biggest issue with was turns. Sometimes, she'd turn the car quickly and make a big sweeping turn that required a lot of correction to get back in her own lane, other times, she'd cut it quick and almost take a header in the ditch because she was too close. But when she would slow down and take her time, her turns were perfect. Smooth.

This made me think about my relationship with her. We've had a mentoring relationship for the past 5+ years. In the beginning, it was like driving on those back roads... I had no idea how to mentor a 10 year old. We just spent a lot of time getting to know each other by wandering around activities like movies, shopping, crafts. She would chatter on about things in her life, and I would listen and try to give counsel, but being careful not to overdo it. I was constantly parking and backing up, just trying to get the hang of how to share life with a young person. As she progressed into her teens, that's when the turns came into play. I can remember a few occasions when I'd make a fast, sweeping turn only to have to really correct ~either by prayer,apology or both!~ to get us back between the lines. Sometimes it was the quick turns either of us would make that would send us careening for the ditch. In those cases, for me it has always been the fear of failure. The fear of letting her too close and then somehow really screwing her up. It was those times that the Lord and my best friend would remind me that God has my back, take my time, go slowly. It will smooth out. And it has ~

This weekend, during one of our typical talks, she was sharing some struggles in her life...some normal teen angst and some other things that most teens don't normally deal with and was wondering if she will ever get through it. Then she asked me if I've ever had just a really bad period in my life and did I ever get over it. It stunned and excited me at the same time. At that moment, I was so thankful for the trials I've had because I have a wealth of experience to draw from. I was able to tell her that yes, she will rise above this and God will bring her out stronger on the other side. I was stunned because I realized that in my effort to protect her, I may have come across a little too put together. Oh, she knows I'm a screw up on a variety levels, but I wonder if I am not as vulnerable as I need to be so that she can see Christ at work in me. So, slowly, I took the turn, shared some struggles and fears I have now and how I'm depending on God to work them out. I admitted I don't know how to proceed and asked her to pray for me. I have no idea how He will use it, but I'm joy filled that I took the turn from mentor/friend to full fledged friendship with her! Looking forward to seeing what great things this young woman will do and be... and knowing I had a little piece in it.

People pleasing

I'm happy, happy, happy today. Got a call from one of my 'inner circle' this morning and had the chance to rejoice with her because she was an 'overcomer' in a struggle she was having. It's one that many of us face... how do we choose the most expedient without worrying about pleasing others?

Last night, she was struggling between two ministries, one with her family and another she'd committed to. Both excellent choices, both with possible repercussions of disappointing someone if she didn't attend. A true struggle. As is typical fashion, she consulted the Lord and then took counsel from other believers. She chose to attend her son's final basketball game, which turned out to be one of the best games they'd had in a long time. But that wasn't the victory... it was the fact that her son immediately sought her out after the game, avoiding even an interview with the press, to thank her for being at the game. She was showing Jesus to her son last night. She was showing him that he is a priority in her life. She was showing him that her ministry to her family is a gift from our Heavenly Father. Her call brought tears of joy to my eyes.

Jesus was like that when He walked this earth. He always knew the right thing to do. He knew when to minister and when to rest. He knew when to be a part of the crowd and when to be with a few. He didn't allow the expectations of others be the preeminent motivator in His course of action...just the expectation of His Father. Oh, how I want to be like Jesus!

I Corinthians 10:23
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.

Choices

Last night I had the enjoyment of hanging out with a few college students who want to walk well with Jesus. We had just studied the life of Jonathan and discussed the impact relationships have on our lives, whether they be of the friendship or love variety. As we were gathered around chatting, I shared a little bit on my study of Mary that I will be speaking on in two weeks. One word keeps rising to the top in my study, and it is a common theme in the lives of the other characters we've discussed ~ choice. When we drill down to the basic point of any circumstance, issue, problem, joy... the ultimate control that any human has is personal choice. Let me explain...

As I look on my life, the only thing I have been able to control is the choices I've made. There are numerous choices over the years that have shaped who Carla is. My choice to choose to trust Christ as my Savior over rejecting His grace, my choice to pursue a degree over going directly into the workforce, my choice to remain in my hometown over moving to the city, my choice to be part of a fellowship that is serious about following Christ over a lukewarm existence in a "don't step on my toes" church, my choice to wait on God over doing things my own way. Those are a few of the good choices ... and there is a litany of really poor ones that I've made over the years ~ bad relationships, self serving activities, sin. However, the bottom line is that I had the choice.

Now some may be saying that circumstances have occurred that were beyond your control and life has dealt you some pretty ugly blows... illness, broken relationships, attacks on your character, financial ruin, problems with your children and a whole host of other unimaginable horrors that have befallen you. I've experienced some of those same things. Yet, my friend, we still have a choice. We have a choice to play victim or victor. We have a choice to change what we can or to wallow in the same excuses we've come to accept as fact. We have a choice to rise to the challenge in front of us or to be a coward. We have a choice to use whatever the Lord has allowed for His glory or to turn away from God and blame Him.

Yes, there are difficult choices in this life and often times the right ones are often the hardest to do. Choose well.

James 1:5
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Learning from Saul

This week for UNiTE (our student ministry) we are studying Jonathan as part of our series on young people in the Bible. As I was reading, my mind became fascinated in another character in the text ~ Saul. From earlier in the book of I Samuel, we know that Saul isn't God's favored king and Saul continually makes some foolish choices. In chapter 14 of I Samuel, I'm struck by two seemingly insignificant events that lead to potentially catastrophic consequences. First, in verses 18-19, Saul was seeking the Lord by requesting the ark, but in verse 19 he tells the priest to withdraw his hand from the ark. Saul was so overcome by the noise that the Philistines were making that he chose to move rather than wait to hear what the priest would tell him. Second, in verse 24, Saul has made a vow that any man who ate before evening would be cursed to die. Saul again made a poor choice. He spoke rashly and without regard to the needs of those under his rule. His army was hungry and in need of nourishment as they had expended a great amount of energy in battling the enemy. Additionally, because of this oath, Saul came very close to losing Jonathan to the oath when Jonathan had unwittingly eaten the honey. Further reading in I Samuel shows us that Saul reaped the seeds of dishonesty, disloyalty, and havoc in the lives of his children by the example they witnessed in their father.

These events resonated with me as a leader. I know that as a leader in my career and in ministry, my choices/decisions/words carry much weight. I'm amazed by how many times an 'off the cuff' remark I will make is perceived as 'gospel' to someone I lead. I am an external thinker... I tend to work problems through by thinking them out loud. I've learned that I have to watch with whom I do this as I affect the morale, choices and walk of others. This story shows me the dire consequences of allowing the noise of the world to motivate me to action over the quiet of seeking God's face. It also shows me the disaster that awaits making oaths or vows that are not wisely thought through or benefit only me and not those I lead. I have witnessed countless times an individual crying out to God, making a promise to change, only to fail almost immediately. They failed to count the cost of their vow. Finally, it makes me all too aware of the seeds I am sowing in those I disciple or affect for the kingdom. As was so eloquently pointed out during our women's leadership meeting last week ~ there are younger women watching my life and I need to be aware of what I am teaching them by how I live it.

Heavenly Father, may my words and actions lead others to seek You, to know you deeper. Thank you for your powerful Word!

The Ultimate Gift

I got the coolest email today...totally unexpected. My brother, whom I adore, sent a forward email about dreamers verses doubters. It was good stuff. But that wasn't the cool part to the email. It was the personal note he sent with it...addressed to his three sisters. He told us how proud he was of us. He told us how happy it made him that we were all pursuing careers that are people centered. He talked of how the impact of the kind of parents we have has made a huge difference in the kind of people we are. Wow. You see, my brother is not a warm fuzzy as a rule. He's incredibly kind to people and would help anyone. He's a good man who knows Jesus, loves his family and excels at his job as a coach and teacher. Yet, our relationships as siblings has been more joking, ribbing, teasing, etc. We occasionally get sentimental, but not often. What a precious gift that email is...and it's going in my keepsake box that I keep all of those cards/notes/letters that have spoken to my heart over the years.

This makes me think of the precious gift given to me by Jesus. I'm not the most gracious gift recipient and find it awkward accepting. I don't know why other than my pride and independence ~ yes, I know how twisted that sounds. It was that way for me when Jesus offered me salvation. I will admit, I struggled with the simplicity of His free gift. I figured there had to be a catch... I surely must have to DO something to be saved. But no. There were no works, no cleaning up my act, nothing. Just accept. Just receive. Just say yes to His gracious gift of salvation. That one act of accepting has turned my life upside down and has been an adventure that I wouldn't trade for anything...and it's only just begun!

Have you said yes to the ultimate gift?

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.