Yesterday I was driving to work and thinking about some random stuff going on in the lives of those around me, when I began to notice the fog that had developed and thickened the farther north I traveled.
It wasn’t one of those frosty morning kinds of fogs that we experience in the fall when the last remnants of summer are mixing with the chill of autumn and it’s just a layer of low clouds. This was the pea soup variety of fog…dense and incredibly difficult to see any distance before or behind the car. The kind that makes you feel like you are all alone, not sure where you’re headed nor seeing any landmarks to calculate where you’ve been.
I couldn’t help but correlate that with my walk with Jesus. It seems that my life has been that foggy existence off and on for awhile now. Trouble gauging where I’ve been and trouble figuring out which direction to move forward. Small annoyances coupled with some not so small items that clutter my life making it difficult to see…much like the fog. Then, I noticed something. The only thing that kept me moving in the correct direction was the white and yellow lines outlining the correct lane position for my car. That made me think of God’s Word. It’s the only thing that truly keeps me in the proper lane of His will. When I decide to be obedient and surrender my will to His doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness, I find myself worrying less and less about seeing what’s looming in the future. I find that I trust what He says He will do, despite the inability to see clearly through these limited lenses. It’s when I am broken of those self obsessed ways that the fog lifts from my life and I see it with new clarity.
Lord, I thank you for the fog because it deepens my reliance on You and not my own ways.
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Small victory
1 Peter 1:7-8 (King James Version)
7That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
8Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
Ever heard the phrase , "Be careful what you wish for"? Well, I'm living that one right now. Recently, I have asked my Sunday morning prayer buddies to lift me up in the area of discipline. As I explained to them, I've become very apathetic about life in general. So the prayers began and the first thing the Lord really spoke to me about was being quiet to hear his still, small voice. I'd been reading about missing what the Holy Spirit wanted to work on because we ignore/dismiss/reject what we are being asked to be obedient to do. Then almost before I learned that lesson, the still, small voice convicted me about my time spent on Facebook. Now let me clarify something from the beginning. I do not think FB is wrong, evil or anything else... it simply brings unnecessary distraction into my life on a variety of levels. So, in obedience to that voice, I disengaged my page. Now, mind you, I really didn't think how that would affect others, but it became very clear, very quickly that my decision to be obedient would bring the enemy and his legion out to thwart my efforts. Some felt I had removed them from my friend list (I didn't even think about that to be honest!)or didn't want to communicate with them anymore. I was sort of bummed that people would jump to the conclusion that I would intentionally remove them, but then I was reminded that the enemy will strike almost immediately on the heels of obedience. He wanted me to doubt myself as I have so many times in the past and he oft times uses my relationships with others to do his evil deeds. That reminder was what I needed to move past the discouragement and realize that I was fighting a spiritual battle.
I was pumped to go into my Sunday morning group and tell them of the victory that I'd realized over the weekend and how faithful He is to me by the gentle reminder that I am doing His bidding. Then because the Lord loves to encourage and bless, I got several encouraging emails today about my decision to disengage from FB. I serve an Awesome God!!!
7That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
8Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
Ever heard the phrase , "Be careful what you wish for"? Well, I'm living that one right now. Recently, I have asked my Sunday morning prayer buddies to lift me up in the area of discipline. As I explained to them, I've become very apathetic about life in general. So the prayers began and the first thing the Lord really spoke to me about was being quiet to hear his still, small voice. I'd been reading about missing what the Holy Spirit wanted to work on because we ignore/dismiss/reject what we are being asked to be obedient to do. Then almost before I learned that lesson, the still, small voice convicted me about my time spent on Facebook. Now let me clarify something from the beginning. I do not think FB is wrong, evil or anything else... it simply brings unnecessary distraction into my life on a variety of levels. So, in obedience to that voice, I disengaged my page. Now, mind you, I really didn't think how that would affect others, but it became very clear, very quickly that my decision to be obedient would bring the enemy and his legion out to thwart my efforts. Some felt I had removed them from my friend list (I didn't even think about that to be honest!)or didn't want to communicate with them anymore. I was sort of bummed that people would jump to the conclusion that I would intentionally remove them, but then I was reminded that the enemy will strike almost immediately on the heels of obedience. He wanted me to doubt myself as I have so many times in the past and he oft times uses my relationships with others to do his evil deeds. That reminder was what I needed to move past the discouragement and realize that I was fighting a spiritual battle.
I was pumped to go into my Sunday morning group and tell them of the victory that I'd realized over the weekend and how faithful He is to me by the gentle reminder that I am doing His bidding. Then because the Lord loves to encourage and bless, I got several encouraging emails today about my decision to disengage from FB. I serve an Awesome God!!!
Final thoughts on Belize
As I think about Belize, there is one thing of which I am certain ~ I took more from that experience than I gave. Not that I didn't want to give and believe that I did give as much as I was capable of doing, but rather there were lessons for me to learn that would far overshadow anything I did for Jesus. The most influential lesson I learned was actually the most simple... keep my eyes on Jesus. This lesson came from watching one woman affect a community in a quiet, unassuming way.
To meet Noemi, you wouldn't classify her as someone who is assertive or overwhelming. She is the wife of Artemio, the pastor of our sister church in Copper Bank. She is quiet, almost to the point that she is difficult to hear...but oh the influence this woman carried for Jesus! I had the joy of getting to spend a little 1-1 time with her as we were preparing a meal one day. We were visiting about her sons. These two young men are impressive. They love Jesus, serve him in very different ways, are fun to be around, and have a great work ethic. I was commenting to Noemi about her boys and she shared a story about telling them one time how it hurt her heart to have to discipline them, but she was far more concerned with being obedient to the Lord and being responsible for following His word when it came to rearing children. She then shared that one of the boys had come home from school and thanked her for the discipline because he saw how others acted and was glad he knew better. What a sweet smile covered her face in recounting that blessing!
When Artemio gave our team his testimony, the most fascinating part for me was when he spoke of his relationship with Noemi and how influential she was, and is, in his continued walk with Jesus. I saw this daily when she was working diligently behind the scenes, but always being the anchor where those three Cal men gravitated back to for advice and encouragement. I loved when Artemio shared that there came a point in their relationship that Noemi, who had grown up in a Christian home, relinquished the reigns of spiritual leadership and handed them over to him. Whew, what guts and selflessness that took... but then I realized she had her vision and focus in the right place, off of a man and onto THE MAN. She was banking on what she knew to be true ~ the Word of God. She knew that God has an order and that if she was to please Him, she needed to follow. I can say that this woman impacted me profoundly and probably isn't even aware of it, but I'm praying that the Lord blesses her mightily for her faithfulness. I know my life will never be the same because of her.
As I wonder if I can ever be as faithful as Noemi, the Lord gave me the best birthday present yesterday that I have ever had. It came in the form of a prayer that my dad gave before the meal. He thanked God for me, but the coolest part was when he said that he is thankful that I put the Lord before anything in my life. Never have words impacted me like those did. I so want to be that faithful woman and maybe I am moving in the right direction if someone close to me, who knows my warts, quirks, and often not so great attitude acknowledges that I do want to put Jesus first!
To meet Noemi, you wouldn't classify her as someone who is assertive or overwhelming. She is the wife of Artemio, the pastor of our sister church in Copper Bank. She is quiet, almost to the point that she is difficult to hear...but oh the influence this woman carried for Jesus! I had the joy of getting to spend a little 1-1 time with her as we were preparing a meal one day. We were visiting about her sons. These two young men are impressive. They love Jesus, serve him in very different ways, are fun to be around, and have a great work ethic. I was commenting to Noemi about her boys and she shared a story about telling them one time how it hurt her heart to have to discipline them, but she was far more concerned with being obedient to the Lord and being responsible for following His word when it came to rearing children. She then shared that one of the boys had come home from school and thanked her for the discipline because he saw how others acted and was glad he knew better. What a sweet smile covered her face in recounting that blessing!
When Artemio gave our team his testimony, the most fascinating part for me was when he spoke of his relationship with Noemi and how influential she was, and is, in his continued walk with Jesus. I saw this daily when she was working diligently behind the scenes, but always being the anchor where those three Cal men gravitated back to for advice and encouragement. I loved when Artemio shared that there came a point in their relationship that Noemi, who had grown up in a Christian home, relinquished the reigns of spiritual leadership and handed them over to him. Whew, what guts and selflessness that took... but then I realized she had her vision and focus in the right place, off of a man and onto THE MAN. She was banking on what she knew to be true ~ the Word of God. She knew that God has an order and that if she was to please Him, she needed to follow. I can say that this woman impacted me profoundly and probably isn't even aware of it, but I'm praying that the Lord blesses her mightily for her faithfulness. I know my life will never be the same because of her.
As I wonder if I can ever be as faithful as Noemi, the Lord gave me the best birthday present yesterday that I have ever had. It came in the form of a prayer that my dad gave before the meal. He thanked God for me, but the coolest part was when he said that he is thankful that I put the Lord before anything in my life. Never have words impacted me like those did. I so want to be that faithful woman and maybe I am moving in the right direction if someone close to me, who knows my warts, quirks, and often not so great attitude acknowledges that I do want to put Jesus first!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Belize - Part 2
It's taken some time to sort through all that transpired while I was in Belize and I know that I still haven't digested all of it. There are two issues that have become definitive for me. First, the acknowledgement that less is more. The Lord kept repeating this phrase over and over again to me while I was there. Of course, just the fact that they have 'less' in terms of worldly goods is certainly pronounced. But I was more aware of how they 'needed' less. Small homes, rugged vehicles, not a lot of shiny new things. They were content with what God had provided. Very content. They were joy filled, in fact. Gone was the stress from faces of having everything at their disposal like we do and it was replaced by the absolute knowledge that He provides. And oh the prayers... to say I was humbled by their devotion and authentic heart felt thankfulness to Abba Father would be an understatement. I was actually somewhat ashamed. I know I have taken His provision, graciousness, and blessings for granted... maybe even have felt that it was owed to me for being a 'good christian'. Ouch. This has been an obvious area of needed change for me. When did I become someone who felt life owed me something, let alone the God of the universe? As if the Lord wanted to nail the coffin of my self absorption shut today, in my quiet time in John 3, I read the verse where John is talking of who he is in relation to Christ and he simply states, "He must increase, but I must decrease". Notice the order of the sentence as John clearly understands the order of importance. The believers in Copper Bank seemed to get this and it was evident by how they lived their lives everyday.
To be continued...
To be continued...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Belize
The past two weeks have been hellish, to say the least. In the midst of closing out an 11.5 year tenure at my current job and prepping for a whole career change, I'm inserting a 10 day mission trip! No, it didn't start out that way, but it's comical how it all worked out. I gave my notice and my contract will end on Saturday. Then I fly out on Monday. Gotta love God's ways. However, I sit here thankful. I haven't had a moment to get all revved up about going to a remote village in a Central American Country in the middle of July with bugs as big as birds, to be afraid of failing at teaching at the English camp we are doing, or any of the other thoughts that have wasted my time in the past. Nope. All I am thinking about is how much I am looking forward to being with Jesus and His people. How I am excited about the quiet that will be there... all the distractions I've had have taken toll on my intimacy with My Savior. I've really missed Him. I am praying for time just to be quiet with Him, to savor His word, to get refocused in a couple of areas in my life. I'm praying for deep connections with women whose culture is so polar opposite of mine. I look forward to learning so much from them. I praying that the kids that are a part of the VBS will see Jesus in my smile, my laughter and my hugs. I'm praying that my teammates will deepen their love and faith in the Only One worthy of such love and faith. I'm praying that I come back a different woman than the one who sits here today.
Heavenly Father, you alone know the fiery darts that have come my way,including the ones I haven't seen, during these past few weeks. You alone have been the buoy in the storm and an anchor for my tired soul. Thank you for forgiving my shortcomings and for giving me strength in each day to finish this race well. Be with my co-workers as they begin this new chapter in their lives. Thank you for loving me. Looking forward to our time in Belize!
Heavenly Father, you alone know the fiery darts that have come my way,including the ones I haven't seen, during these past few weeks. You alone have been the buoy in the storm and an anchor for my tired soul. Thank you for forgiving my shortcomings and for giving me strength in each day to finish this race well. Be with my co-workers as they begin this new chapter in their lives. Thank you for loving me. Looking forward to our time in Belize!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Critical Spirit
Two things I know for certain about myself: 1. I am usually a poor judge of character and 2. I do not see myself as others view me. I've had occasion in the past couple of weeks to get a glimpse into #2. I have recently decided to change jobs and my announcement to the staff I work with came as a surprise to them. Their response came as a surprise to me. I'm not exactly sure what I thought would be their view, but I certainly didn't expect them to be as emotionally upset as they were. I figured we'd merrily part ways and be done with it. I figured wrong. I know for me it will be difficult letting go of what I've come to feel good at and saying goodbye to people I've come to count as friends will be tough as well.
This has made me think a lot about how Jesus views me. I want to know that I see myself as He does, after all, His opinion is what counts. This past weekend I had an occasion to see an ugly side to Carla that certainly needed exposing. I went to an event where the people in attendance weren't 'my kind' of people. First big red flag is that I have "my kind of people"! As I sat in judgement of their lives (mind you, I don't have a clue what 'their lives' are like), God used the prayer of one of my inner circle to convict me. As he prayed before our meal, he was so humble in his confession about how he viewed people that I was immediately convicted. Yet, to prove the point that I needed to change, God used 'My Utmost for His Highest' to bring the point home.
Chambers writes:
Matthew 7:1
"Jesus' instructions with regard to judging others is very simply put; He says "Don't". The average Christian is the most piercingly critical individual known. The effect of criticism is the dividing up of the strengths of the one being criticized. The Holy Spirit is the only one in the proper position to criticize, and He alone is able to show what is wrong without hurting and wounding. You must constantly beware of anything that causes you to think of yourself as a superior person. There is no escaping the penetrating search of my life by Jesus. If I see the little speck in your eye, it means that I have a plank of timber in my own. Every wrong thing that I see in you, God finds in me. Stop having a measuring stick for other people. There is always at least one more fact, which we know nothing about, in every person's situation. I have never met a person I could despair of, or lose all hope for, after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God"
Father, I am so thankful for Your Word which lays the truth up against the reality of my life. I am also thankful for the people you've placed along my path that point me to living a life that is pleasing to You. Lord, change me to see people as You do. Amen.
This has made me think a lot about how Jesus views me. I want to know that I see myself as He does, after all, His opinion is what counts. This past weekend I had an occasion to see an ugly side to Carla that certainly needed exposing. I went to an event where the people in attendance weren't 'my kind' of people. First big red flag is that I have "my kind of people"! As I sat in judgement of their lives (mind you, I don't have a clue what 'their lives' are like), God used the prayer of one of my inner circle to convict me. As he prayed before our meal, he was so humble in his confession about how he viewed people that I was immediately convicted. Yet, to prove the point that I needed to change, God used 'My Utmost for His Highest' to bring the point home.
Chambers writes:
Matthew 7:1
"Jesus' instructions with regard to judging others is very simply put; He says "Don't". The average Christian is the most piercingly critical individual known. The effect of criticism is the dividing up of the strengths of the one being criticized. The Holy Spirit is the only one in the proper position to criticize, and He alone is able to show what is wrong without hurting and wounding. You must constantly beware of anything that causes you to think of yourself as a superior person. There is no escaping the penetrating search of my life by Jesus. If I see the little speck in your eye, it means that I have a plank of timber in my own. Every wrong thing that I see in you, God finds in me. Stop having a measuring stick for other people. There is always at least one more fact, which we know nothing about, in every person's situation. I have never met a person I could despair of, or lose all hope for, after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God"
Father, I am so thankful for Your Word which lays the truth up against the reality of my life. I am also thankful for the people you've placed along my path that point me to living a life that is pleasing to You. Lord, change me to see people as You do. Amen.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Steadfast, Strong, Manly Men
Last Friday was an enjoyable day for me. I got to have lunch with a former college roommate and then dinner/movie with a couple of my girlfriends. Of course, the subject of men came up (hello, it's women sitting around talking...men are bound to be a topic somewhere in the convo!) with the usual conclusion ~ we don't understand how they think or why they do some of the things they do. Now, before any of my beloved male friends stop reading... I would bet many of you feel the same way about women... you just don't get us either. The evening culminated in watching yet another Hollywood take on good boy gone bad only to be brought back to good boy with some Dickenese characters thrown in to help him see the error of his ways. Ugh. I am so tired of those kinds of movies. The main character is a schmuck and after his supposed redemption, he becomes a lovable, sweet guy. I'd love to see the 'real-life' sequel of what happens after the 'happily ever after' wears off. Bet my paycheck the dude is still a schmuck and she's a cranky nag because he isn't living up to what she thinks he should be!
This whole thing got me to thinking about and praying for the men who are currently in my life and the one I've yet to meet. Do I put them in a 'Hollywood' type box and expect them to be like those in the movies? Do I want them to be the manly man, knight in shining armour all the while expecting them to think like a woman? Do I emasculate them with my penchant for wanting control? Do I expect them to be more than God does? Does my attitude/actions reflect respect for who they are right where God has them? While I want to be 'wowed' by Mr. Right, what does that look like in reality? As God often does, He gave me a nugget in my reading this morning that I've been chewing on. In I Cor. 16:13 it says, "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong." I'll be honest... I was perplexed by this verse the first few times I read it. What the heck does 'quit like men' mean? So, I researched it a bit and found it means to act manly. Paul had been dealing with the church at Corinth and the many questions they had for him. Apparently, from previous verses, the roles of men and women in the Christian walk were questioned by those early believers. After 15 chapters of response, Paul was wrapping up his letter to them. And almost in the middle of this last chapter with no warning, he tells them to stand fast in their faith, be manly, to be strong and to do all with love (vs. 14). The light bulb went off for me. Isn't that really all we should want from the men in our lives? Stand fast in their faith, be a strong man and do all with love? Why do we let the world tell us that men need to be anything other than what God expects? Now, I'm all about people taking personal responsibility for their choices and lives, and guys, if you are anything less than God wants, that's on you. But now I'm talking to the ladies... we must do our very best to promote what God says a man should be like ~ not our own personal agenda or Hollywood's view. I see so many women trying to 'fix' the men in their lives to be something that God never intended him to be...and yours truly has been guilty of that as well. Gals, would you want him constantly trying to change who you are or do you want him relying on God to shape and mold you into the woman God wants you to be? Frankly, I know this will be seen as highly unpopular, 'old school' thinking... but I agree with God, not the world. I am praying that the men in my life are standing fast in their faith, are strong, manly men and do all with love and that God shows me how to live my life in a way that allows them be all HE desires them to be.
This whole thing got me to thinking about and praying for the men who are currently in my life and the one I've yet to meet. Do I put them in a 'Hollywood' type box and expect them to be like those in the movies? Do I want them to be the manly man, knight in shining armour all the while expecting them to think like a woman? Do I emasculate them with my penchant for wanting control? Do I expect them to be more than God does? Does my attitude/actions reflect respect for who they are right where God has them? While I want to be 'wowed' by Mr. Right, what does that look like in reality? As God often does, He gave me a nugget in my reading this morning that I've been chewing on. In I Cor. 16:13 it says, "Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong." I'll be honest... I was perplexed by this verse the first few times I read it. What the heck does 'quit like men' mean? So, I researched it a bit and found it means to act manly. Paul had been dealing with the church at Corinth and the many questions they had for him. Apparently, from previous verses, the roles of men and women in the Christian walk were questioned by those early believers. After 15 chapters of response, Paul was wrapping up his letter to them. And almost in the middle of this last chapter with no warning, he tells them to stand fast in their faith, be manly, to be strong and to do all with love (vs. 14). The light bulb went off for me. Isn't that really all we should want from the men in our lives? Stand fast in their faith, be a strong man and do all with love? Why do we let the world tell us that men need to be anything other than what God expects? Now, I'm all about people taking personal responsibility for their choices and lives, and guys, if you are anything less than God wants, that's on you. But now I'm talking to the ladies... we must do our very best to promote what God says a man should be like ~ not our own personal agenda or Hollywood's view. I see so many women trying to 'fix' the men in their lives to be something that God never intended him to be...and yours truly has been guilty of that as well. Gals, would you want him constantly trying to change who you are or do you want him relying on God to shape and mold you into the woman God wants you to be? Frankly, I know this will be seen as highly unpopular, 'old school' thinking... but I agree with God, not the world. I am praying that the men in my life are standing fast in their faith, are strong, manly men and do all with love and that God shows me how to live my life in a way that allows them be all HE desires them to be.
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