Psalm 119:105 - Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
February 2 - Words
Psalm 119:105 - Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
February Photo of the Day - Day 1 - My View
My friend, Missy, shared an idea of posting a photo a day for the month of February depicting the topic du jour. Today's is 'my view today'... so here it is:
Yeah, I know...not going to win any awards, but it said something to me. You see, when I left home, the skies were clear, the sun was just coming up and I thought, "Oh, I should take a pic", then I thought, no, I will wait til later on my way to work. I got about 2/3 of the way to work when, 'BAM'! I was surrounded by a dense, pea like fog. Two things came to mind...first, our days can be filled with sun and darkness, so appreciate the sun while it's here. The second, and most important to me today, was the pain, grief, hurt that many feel can envelope them as densely and suddenly as that fog did my vehicle this morning. It was a great reminder for me to be praying for several that I know are trying to find their way out of the fog of circumstances. So I prayed for those I know by name that need light shed on their lives as a beacon of hope, and for those whose pain I don't know of personally. If that is you, may He bring you hope.
Friday, January 20, 2012
The Sweet Sound of Silence.
Silence. It used to be that this word would send shivers through my system. I don't know if it's age, wisdom or a bit of both, but I now embrace it for the beautiful, soul refresher that it is. This past week gave me a few examples to explain why I love it so...
Silence lends itself to acts of grace: I was visiting with a friend the other day and we were discussing issues of leadership. He was telling me of giving counsel to a younger man and made this statement: "I really said too much in this situation. He (the one being counseled) wasn't ready to receive all of that information." How discerning and what a great lesson to learn as a leader/believer in Christ. Sometimes, we are better to give information in digestible amounts. Actually, that is much like the grace with which the Lord teaches us. I can't recount how many times I have read a particular passage, chapter or book of the Bible, only to not get it. Maybe on the 107th time, the light bulb goes off and I have that 'aha' moment. Many times it's because the Lord was spoon feeding me, allowing me to go through some life experiences, or knew that I would need to understand whatever the Scripture was teaching for something that I would experience at a later time. God is so gracious that way...never more than I can handle. I want to be that same gracious believer.
Silence allows us to actually hear our Savior speak to us: At our women's retreat, I found myself often 'retreating' to the outdoors from the main lodge. Partly because the setting was absolutely gorgeous and partly because I needed quiet. You see, 35 women in a small lodge carrying on 10-15 different conversations can get quite L-O-U-D! When I would go outside, the snow laden landscape was so quiet and inviting that it always rejuvenated my spirit! I could hear tree limbs fall, squirrels squawk or watch the big snowflakes fall lazily to the ground. A friend, who is a chatter like me, shared her 'aha' moment about silence that she experienced last weekend. She told me that during the morning quiet time, she and a few others were talking and she realized at one point that she was not prepared to discuss the devotion assigned because she'd been too busy yakking. She told me that the Lord humbled her in that moment and spoke this to her soul, " Be quiet now. I want to speak to you." Too cool! How often do I get so intent on what I want to say that I fail to hear another...especially the Lord? There is a saying that goes "if the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy." I think he is the master at keeping us audibly overwhelmed to the point that we feel we MUST have sound at all times. I want to carve out those times of complete quiet to hear Jesus speak.
Silence may be the most loving act we do: Finally, I know that while silence isn't a substitute for seeking wisdom, it certainly is one cure to keep from saying something stupid...or insensitive. Unfortunately, this example came in a very painful form. This past week, the community where I work has experienced several deaths...some expected, several very difficult. Young lives cut way too short. Parents saying good bye to their children. Young siblings trying to cope with the sting of death. One particular instance was a personal investment. One I had prayed for diligently to experience complete healing. One that dealt with more pain than any human should have to endure. One that has left more questions than answers. Toward the end of his time on earth, his mother had blogged about a conversation she'd had with God where she was asking why her child must experience such pain and agony and why hadn't God chosen to take him. It was a gut wrenching, honest plea to God. The kind that most parents would find themselves asking in the same situation. I was stunned, saddened and shamed at some of the replies to her honest blog. I felt those three things because I was looking in a mirror. How many times, in an effort to 'help', have I scribbled off a Bible verse, or worse, tried to talk them out of 'feeling that way' or defend God by trying to explain why it is going the way it is? Yes, I am about truth. I know that bad things happen to really good people, I know that we live in a fallen world where sin wreaks havoc in lives, and I believe that God is aware of all of this and cares more than I could ever comprehend. Yet, I don't know why this sweet mommy had to watch her child suffer. You know what? I don't have to have the answer. I am not God. I don't have to defend or explain Him. Just take a stroll through Psalms and you will find some very blunt, gutsy, passionate questions that David had the audacity to ask God...and God loved him for it. I believe that God isn't afraid of our honest questions. I believe that it's in those honest times of hurt and anger that He does his best work. I also believe that if we MUST respond in word, anything we say must be tightly wrapped in love and compassion. I firmly believe this mommy wasn't looking for answers from her fellow human beings. She knows that we don't have those answers. She was simply trying to share a severe pain that was going to swallow her alive if she didn't. Fellow believers, let's make a pact. Let's be those people who show Jesus' love and compassion on those who are hurting. They need our love, not a lesson in doctrine. Let's first respond in deed...an arm around them, a prayer for their hurting heart...and if we must say something...let's think twice before speaking.
Silence lends itself to acts of grace: I was visiting with a friend the other day and we were discussing issues of leadership. He was telling me of giving counsel to a younger man and made this statement: "I really said too much in this situation. He (the one being counseled) wasn't ready to receive all of that information." How discerning and what a great lesson to learn as a leader/believer in Christ. Sometimes, we are better to give information in digestible amounts. Actually, that is much like the grace with which the Lord teaches us. I can't recount how many times I have read a particular passage, chapter or book of the Bible, only to not get it. Maybe on the 107th time, the light bulb goes off and I have that 'aha' moment. Many times it's because the Lord was spoon feeding me, allowing me to go through some life experiences, or knew that I would need to understand whatever the Scripture was teaching for something that I would experience at a later time. God is so gracious that way...never more than I can handle. I want to be that same gracious believer.
Silence allows us to actually hear our Savior speak to us: At our women's retreat, I found myself often 'retreating' to the outdoors from the main lodge. Partly because the setting was absolutely gorgeous and partly because I needed quiet. You see, 35 women in a small lodge carrying on 10-15 different conversations can get quite L-O-U-D! When I would go outside, the snow laden landscape was so quiet and inviting that it always rejuvenated my spirit! I could hear tree limbs fall, squirrels squawk or watch the big snowflakes fall lazily to the ground. A friend, who is a chatter like me, shared her 'aha' moment about silence that she experienced last weekend. She told me that during the morning quiet time, she and a few others were talking and she realized at one point that she was not prepared to discuss the devotion assigned because she'd been too busy yakking. She told me that the Lord humbled her in that moment and spoke this to her soul, " Be quiet now. I want to speak to you." Too cool! How often do I get so intent on what I want to say that I fail to hear another...especially the Lord? There is a saying that goes "if the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you busy." I think he is the master at keeping us audibly overwhelmed to the point that we feel we MUST have sound at all times. I want to carve out those times of complete quiet to hear Jesus speak.
Silence may be the most loving act we do: Finally, I know that while silence isn't a substitute for seeking wisdom, it certainly is one cure to keep from saying something stupid...or insensitive. Unfortunately, this example came in a very painful form. This past week, the community where I work has experienced several deaths...some expected, several very difficult. Young lives cut way too short. Parents saying good bye to their children. Young siblings trying to cope with the sting of death. One particular instance was a personal investment. One I had prayed for diligently to experience complete healing. One that dealt with more pain than any human should have to endure. One that has left more questions than answers. Toward the end of his time on earth, his mother had blogged about a conversation she'd had with God where she was asking why her child must experience such pain and agony and why hadn't God chosen to take him. It was a gut wrenching, honest plea to God. The kind that most parents would find themselves asking in the same situation. I was stunned, saddened and shamed at some of the replies to her honest blog. I felt those three things because I was looking in a mirror. How many times, in an effort to 'help', have I scribbled off a Bible verse, or worse, tried to talk them out of 'feeling that way' or defend God by trying to explain why it is going the way it is? Yes, I am about truth. I know that bad things happen to really good people, I know that we live in a fallen world where sin wreaks havoc in lives, and I believe that God is aware of all of this and cares more than I could ever comprehend. Yet, I don't know why this sweet mommy had to watch her child suffer. You know what? I don't have to have the answer. I am not God. I don't have to defend or explain Him. Just take a stroll through Psalms and you will find some very blunt, gutsy, passionate questions that David had the audacity to ask God...and God loved him for it. I believe that God isn't afraid of our honest questions. I believe that it's in those honest times of hurt and anger that He does his best work. I also believe that if we MUST respond in word, anything we say must be tightly wrapped in love and compassion. I firmly believe this mommy wasn't looking for answers from her fellow human beings. She knows that we don't have those answers. She was simply trying to share a severe pain that was going to swallow her alive if she didn't. Fellow believers, let's make a pact. Let's be those people who show Jesus' love and compassion on those who are hurting. They need our love, not a lesson in doctrine. Let's first respond in deed...an arm around them, a prayer for their hurting heart...and if we must say something...let's think twice before speaking.
Monday, January 16, 2012
A Unique Perspective
This past weekend was the annual Women's retreat for my church. I had the privilege of coordinating it, which really meant that I got to watch several gifted women serve others out of a heart of love for the Lord and the women of MCBC. I had the unique perspective of watching women of diverse backgrounds, spiritual depths, stations in life come together and connect as women... not wives, career women, moms, grandmothers, single, marrieds, divorced, college...just as women. Yes, we bring all of those titles to the table, but first and foremost, we are women who love Jesus and want to walk closer to Him and with each other. I watched them laugh together, share tears, pray to their Creator in worship and thanksgiving, and sing praises of worship with one voice. It was beautfiul...and bittersweet.
I had found out early that Saturday morning that a friend of mine from high school had unexpectedly passed away the night before. All through out the day, my thoughts were peppered with rememberances of Lorre...her laugh, how much she enjoyed having fun, the fact that we had just reconnected a couple of weeks ago and talked of getting together. I also thought about her spiritual state. I have no idea if she knew Jesus. I know she went to church, but I have no clue if she ever took that step of trusting Christ as her personal Savior. I really wish I did. It has been an acutely painful reminder that our lives are just a vapor. I am certain she didn't know when she woke that morning that January 13, 2012 would be her last day. But the Lord did, just as He knows the number of my days. Because those days are numbered, I must do my best to share Jesus at every opportunity.
I also became painfully aware that because my life is but a vapor, there was a relationship with one of my girlfriends that had splintered because of my pride, hurt feelings, and unwillingness to forgive. Jesus wasn't getting glory from that brokeness. I am thrilled that Jesus deeply convicted me to get that right. What a sweet time of forgiveness and reconcilliation that was!! I am thankful that in the sorrow of losing a friend to death, that the Lord gave me the unique perspective of the beauty of the ones I have left to enjoy and hold tight.
What about you? Is there a grudge that you are holding onto because of pride? Do you think that you have the 'right' to hold onto those hurt feelings? Are you passive aggressive in your dealing with the situation? Let me ask this one question...if something should happen to that person tonight, how would you feel about the answers to those three questions? I will be praying that you let Jesus heal whatever hurts you have and that the sweetness of reconcilliation will be yours.
Luke 6:37....forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
Friday, January 6, 2012
Pardon the Interruption....
Normally, my posts are spiritual in focus with an random "this has no real purpose" rant added to the mix. Today, I am taking a break from the spiritual to discuss something personal that may be affecting more than just me...so pardon my commercial interruption.
For as many years as I can remember, I have struggled with breathing (asthma), sleep disturbances, and headaches. Going back many years, I've a medical record smattered with various complaints involving one, two or all three of these issues. I've run the gamut of tests, therapies, drugs, etc. to try to combat them. I've blamed everything from spiritual issues to hormonal ones on why I felt so terrible. 2011 found me at the end of my rope. After a surgery for removal of a mass that was suspicioned to be causing the most recent rash of severe headaches was unsuccessful, I thought I was literally going to go nuts. I was tired beyond measure, cranky, lethargic, in a funk, and couldn't make the most simple decisions without great effort. In a last ditch effort to find relief, I suggested to my physician that we do a sleep study. The results were telling. I was diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Sleep Apnea. The 'layman' explanation for this is basically I stop breathing for periods during the night and/or I would have episodic closure of the esophagus which would cause me to wake up to start the air flow again. This was causing me not to rid my body of the carbon dioxide (the daily headaches and fog I was in), and my brain and other organs weren't getting the oxygen they needed. As is typical Carla fashion, I wanted to know as much as I could about this problem and was stunned. It is a far more common problem than I thought...and the National Institute of Health estimates that over 25% of the population may have it and are currently undiagnosed! This can be a causal factor for hypertension, heart disease and a host of other disease processes.
After diagnosis, the treatment was really simple...I use a breathing machine when I sleep. I have been on this therapy for two weeks and am ASTOUNDED at how good I feel!! I have energy, my mood and attitude have improved significantly, and I am happy to report I haven't had a headache for two weeks! I haven't had a day where I was headache free for many, many years!
So what's my point with all of this? Maybe just to vent, or to explain why I've behaved certain ways, or hopefully to help someone who is struggling with a similar issue. Something as simple as a good nights sleep is a very important thing for maintaining good health. The moral to my story...don't give up until you find an answer!
For as many years as I can remember, I have struggled with breathing (asthma), sleep disturbances, and headaches. Going back many years, I've a medical record smattered with various complaints involving one, two or all three of these issues. I've run the gamut of tests, therapies, drugs, etc. to try to combat them. I've blamed everything from spiritual issues to hormonal ones on why I felt so terrible. 2011 found me at the end of my rope. After a surgery for removal of a mass that was suspicioned to be causing the most recent rash of severe headaches was unsuccessful, I thought I was literally going to go nuts. I was tired beyond measure, cranky, lethargic, in a funk, and couldn't make the most simple decisions without great effort. In a last ditch effort to find relief, I suggested to my physician that we do a sleep study. The results were telling. I was diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Sleep Apnea. The 'layman' explanation for this is basically I stop breathing for periods during the night and/or I would have episodic closure of the esophagus which would cause me to wake up to start the air flow again. This was causing me not to rid my body of the carbon dioxide (the daily headaches and fog I was in), and my brain and other organs weren't getting the oxygen they needed. As is typical Carla fashion, I wanted to know as much as I could about this problem and was stunned. It is a far more common problem than I thought...and the National Institute of Health estimates that over 25% of the population may have it and are currently undiagnosed! This can be a causal factor for hypertension, heart disease and a host of other disease processes.
After diagnosis, the treatment was really simple...I use a breathing machine when I sleep. I have been on this therapy for two weeks and am ASTOUNDED at how good I feel!! I have energy, my mood and attitude have improved significantly, and I am happy to report I haven't had a headache for two weeks! I haven't had a day where I was headache free for many, many years!
So what's my point with all of this? Maybe just to vent, or to explain why I've behaved certain ways, or hopefully to help someone who is struggling with a similar issue. Something as simple as a good nights sleep is a very important thing for maintaining good health. The moral to my story...don't give up until you find an answer!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
2011 in the Rearview Mirror
Another year is quickly coming to a close, and as has been my tradition, here is my random list of highlights of the year...
* Family :
This year brought a new member into the Ewing family. Much excitement and anticipation was experienced as we welcomed Miss Olivia Grace into the fold on June 29. It has been a delight to watch her grow, see her personality develop, listen to her chatter, and celebrate a first Christmas with her! It's also been sweet to watch her Momma grow in her parenting of her daughter. Livi joins her cousins Logan and Rileigh in stealing their Aunt Carla's heart. I would move heaven and earth for those three! On another note, while we have experienced some difficulties along the way, this family continues to be relatively healthy, happy and close knit!
* Travel :
I didn't do as much travel this year, but the highlight trip was a week in Florida in January to cruise to the Bahamas with Hush and Lo companions, Kathy and Gail. It was cold, but we had a great time...and what happens in Florida, stays in Florida, right, girls! ;)
* Reads:
My favorite non Bible reads this year finds the top spot with a tie. First, Weird by Craig Groeschel was a fun read that sparked subtle change in my life. The second was a bit more intense. Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud was a great, but difficult read for me. No, the book isn't difficult in itself, but the necessity for some endings in my life made it hard. I struggle with that a lot and this book, while business in nature, certainly played across all areas of life. I recommend both of them for your 2012 must read list.
My favorite Bible reading this year has been Leviticus and Deuteronomy...they both rocked my world because I finally see just how serious the Lord views sin...and how holy He is. I am always amazed at how He reveals issues to me in the time that I can accept it, learn from it, and change. Read these books several times, but now I was ready to learn from them.
*Ministry Moment:
Another tie: First: being asked to speak at a women's retreat in the spring. The reason for all of the growing pains I had been enduring became crystal clear when I was asked to speak at a church in the town I work. That process brought me closer to my Savior in ways I cannot explain. It was just plain awesome!
Second: praying for and actually being present when my friend, Nicole, surrendered her life to Christ. I wept like a baby...FANTASTIC!
Dumbest/Funniest Thing
That would have to be the time I was picked up in the egg aisle at Wal-mart. Dumb because I actually ended up giving the guy my number and immediately regretted it. It was also the funniest because of the reaction of my friends...oh did they have a heyday with this one! One of my favorite reactions: Jen B. telling me I was going to end up being the subject of a 48 hours Mystery or a Lifetime Movie! Lesson learned: It's highly improbable that one will find true love (or remote like) at Wal-mart....
Personal Accomplishment:
Working hard to get my personal finances in order. By God's grace, a good job, my Dad holding me accountable and Dave Ramsey's course, I will be debt free, with the exception of my house by Feb of 2012!
What about 2012?
It is with an open hand, heart and desire that I will let the Lord lead...I look forward to: our annual women's retreat, an Alaskan cruise, activities with the family and friends, changes in me through some personal development plans, learning to be a bit more vulnerable and a lot less cynical, starting my Master's program in Counseling, and the surprises that the Lord has in store!
Not looking forward to the 2012 election...I love my country, I believe in the freedoms and constitution, and I know God is in ultimate control...and yet, I hate the character-less choices I have in voting for those who should be serving our country, instead they are running it...right into the ground with their selfishness, pride and greed. The lesson learned: never put your hope in man. Only THE Man.
* Family :
This year brought a new member into the Ewing family. Much excitement and anticipation was experienced as we welcomed Miss Olivia Grace into the fold on June 29. It has been a delight to watch her grow, see her personality develop, listen to her chatter, and celebrate a first Christmas with her! It's also been sweet to watch her Momma grow in her parenting of her daughter. Livi joins her cousins Logan and Rileigh in stealing their Aunt Carla's heart. I would move heaven and earth for those three! On another note, while we have experienced some difficulties along the way, this family continues to be relatively healthy, happy and close knit!
* Travel :
I didn't do as much travel this year, but the highlight trip was a week in Florida in January to cruise to the Bahamas with Hush and Lo companions, Kathy and Gail. It was cold, but we had a great time...and what happens in Florida, stays in Florida, right, girls! ;)
* Reads:
My favorite non Bible reads this year finds the top spot with a tie. First, Weird by Craig Groeschel was a fun read that sparked subtle change in my life. The second was a bit more intense. Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud was a great, but difficult read for me. No, the book isn't difficult in itself, but the necessity for some endings in my life made it hard. I struggle with that a lot and this book, while business in nature, certainly played across all areas of life. I recommend both of them for your 2012 must read list.
My favorite Bible reading this year has been Leviticus and Deuteronomy...they both rocked my world because I finally see just how serious the Lord views sin...and how holy He is. I am always amazed at how He reveals issues to me in the time that I can accept it, learn from it, and change. Read these books several times, but now I was ready to learn from them.
*Ministry Moment:
Another tie: First: being asked to speak at a women's retreat in the spring. The reason for all of the growing pains I had been enduring became crystal clear when I was asked to speak at a church in the town I work. That process brought me closer to my Savior in ways I cannot explain. It was just plain awesome!
Second: praying for and actually being present when my friend, Nicole, surrendered her life to Christ. I wept like a baby...FANTASTIC!
Dumbest/Funniest Thing
That would have to be the time I was picked up in the egg aisle at Wal-mart. Dumb because I actually ended up giving the guy my number and immediately regretted it. It was also the funniest because of the reaction of my friends...oh did they have a heyday with this one! One of my favorite reactions: Jen B. telling me I was going to end up being the subject of a 48 hours Mystery or a Lifetime Movie! Lesson learned: It's highly improbable that one will find true love (or remote like) at Wal-mart....
Personal Accomplishment:
Working hard to get my personal finances in order. By God's grace, a good job, my Dad holding me accountable and Dave Ramsey's course, I will be debt free, with the exception of my house by Feb of 2012!
What about 2012?
It is with an open hand, heart and desire that I will let the Lord lead...I look forward to: our annual women's retreat, an Alaskan cruise, activities with the family and friends, changes in me through some personal development plans, learning to be a bit more vulnerable and a lot less cynical, starting my Master's program in Counseling, and the surprises that the Lord has in store!
Not looking forward to the 2012 election...I love my country, I believe in the freedoms and constitution, and I know God is in ultimate control...and yet, I hate the character-less choices I have in voting for those who should be serving our country, instead they are running it...right into the ground with their selfishness, pride and greed. The lesson learned: never put your hope in man. Only THE Man.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Did I Mean It?
And I know you know the difference
Between a promise and a lie
And I know you know the difference
Between what is wrong and right
I know you said you gave it all to Jesus Christ
You said that someday. Said you'd do anything
But, did ya mean it?
This chorus from Third Day's "Did You Mean It" has been playing over and over in my heart over the past 24 hours. It's been because the Lord himself is calling me out on a promise I made to Him several years back over an issue in my life. I gave it over to the Lord to bless or sacrifice. Now this many years later, I am still battling it and the enemy of my soul knows how to batter my heart and try to knock me on my back. He knows my desire to control my life. He knows my weak areas. He knows my struggle with following something I can't see ~ blindly trusting the path chosen for me even if it isn't by me. He knows that if he can whisper just enough in my ear to get me to doubt that the Lord really cares about me or my issue, I will be off and running in trying to manipulate it to get my desired outcome.
BUT, this time, I chose the Word of God to battle the enemy. When those fears, doubts, anger and other emotions started to well up in my heart, I went running to the only place where I can find help - My Savior's Words. One by one, I countered all the lies being whispered to me with His promises...to never leave nor forsake me, to be my strong tower and refuge, to acknowledged Him in all my ways and He will direct my path (a promise to lead me!), to cast what I am caring about on Him because He does care, to capture my thoughts and bring them captive to Christ, that His thoughts and ways aren't mine. It was truly a healing balm to my battered soul. I slept so soundly knowing that My Lord has plans for me that are good...in fact, better than what I could ever plan for my own life.
Yeah, I meant it!
Between a promise and a lie
And I know you know the difference
Between what is wrong and right
I know you said you gave it all to Jesus Christ
You said that someday. Said you'd do anything
But, did ya mean it?
This chorus from Third Day's "Did You Mean It" has been playing over and over in my heart over the past 24 hours. It's been because the Lord himself is calling me out on a promise I made to Him several years back over an issue in my life. I gave it over to the Lord to bless or sacrifice. Now this many years later, I am still battling it and the enemy of my soul knows how to batter my heart and try to knock me on my back. He knows my desire to control my life. He knows my weak areas. He knows my struggle with following something I can't see ~ blindly trusting the path chosen for me even if it isn't by me. He knows that if he can whisper just enough in my ear to get me to doubt that the Lord really cares about me or my issue, I will be off and running in trying to manipulate it to get my desired outcome.
BUT, this time, I chose the Word of God to battle the enemy. When those fears, doubts, anger and other emotions started to well up in my heart, I went running to the only place where I can find help - My Savior's Words. One by one, I countered all the lies being whispered to me with His promises...to never leave nor forsake me, to be my strong tower and refuge, to acknowledged Him in all my ways and He will direct my path (a promise to lead me!), to cast what I am caring about on Him because He does care, to capture my thoughts and bring them captive to Christ, that His thoughts and ways aren't mine. It was truly a healing balm to my battered soul. I slept so soundly knowing that My Lord has plans for me that are good...in fact, better than what I could ever plan for my own life.
Yeah, I meant it!
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